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Author Topic: The Text Adventure: Mandatory Castle Crawling  (Read 16481 times)

zchris13

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #120 on: July 31, 2009, 12:17:43 pm »

Vehicles are female.  Well established fact of grammar.  ;D
Questionable if said vehicle is sentient. It's whatever it identifies as.
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Asheron

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #121 on: August 01, 2009, 08:21:17 am »

Just keep going.
The humans jump in front of us, and they are out for revenge.

Electrocute them.
Ask Tethe very politely if it would like to kill some humans for us.
Tethe electrocutes an entire group of humans in a blink of an eye to nothing more than a heap of ashes. Urist McBolts notices that "That's a lot of firepower we got here."

Then convince them that Tethe is in fact Ozymandias, King of Kings, God of Caves, (Wizard), and that they should bow to her and worship her as their mistress.
You cry out:
"This is Ozymandias, King of Kings, God of Caves, (Wizard), and the bringer of your doom! Look at her works, ye puny ( you point at the heap of ashes ), and despair! Bow to her!
The humans flee to all directions.

> discover the shocking fact that Tethe for some reason identifies as female.
"Wait. Tethe, are you female?"
"What? No, no I don't think so..."

Vehicles are female.  Well established fact of grammar.  ;D
Questionable if said vehicle is sentient. It's whatever it identifies as.

"The voices in your head make a point. I think I'm actually a he."
"No, you are not, you are female!
"STOP OPPRESSING ME!"
It seems Tethe is a male personality in a female body. Woops.

Anyway, do we electrocute the fleeing humans or do we continue on?
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Armok

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #122 on: August 01, 2009, 09:24:30 am »

>Tethe: Zap! Zap! Zap!
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Myroc

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #123 on: August 01, 2009, 10:59:45 am »

>If we electrocute them all, and dump their ashes in the river, no one would be the wiser about who did it.
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zchris13

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #124 on: August 01, 2009, 11:41:51 am »

>If we electrocute them all, and dump their ashes in the river, no one would be the wiser about who did it.
Is secrecy really the best option here?
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Asheron

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #125 on: August 02, 2009, 11:53:20 am »

>Tethe: Zap! Zap! Zap!
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
You laugh maniacally as the humans all crumble to the might of Tethe. Your escorts are a bit discomforted by your laughs, so you decide to stop.

>If we electrocute them all, and dump their ashes in the river, no one would be the wiser about who did it.
Is secrecy really the best option here?
Nope. Now there will be no cults in the human empire worshipping Tethe, the god of death.

The party ventures on. After many minutes of travel, you reach the outskirts of the elven settlement ( read: a bunch of trees with houses in them ). How shall we approach the settlement?
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Armok

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #126 on: August 02, 2009, 11:56:06 am »

>Tethe: Zap! Zap! Zap!
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Myroc

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Re: The Text Adventure: The Man of the Future and Past!
« Reply #127 on: August 02, 2009, 11:59:48 am »

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filiusenox

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #128 on: August 02, 2009, 12:30:33 pm »

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Asheron

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #129 on: August 02, 2009, 02:43:51 pm »

>Tethe: Zap! Zap! Zap!


This with burn burn burn mixed in.

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
The elves are caught by surprise. Soon, the settlement resembles hell more than the forest it once was. One of your escorts is hit in the head by an arrow shot by an ambushing elf and dies, but you soon retaliate by killing him, and his family, and all children you come across.
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
You ( and this time, your escorts too ) laugh maniacally as the woods burn.
The fire spreads to all sides.
Oh god, we should get out of here.
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Did you just post a bunch of vegi-dicks on my board?  I've been trying to combat forum devolution a bit, and that involves fewer vegi-dicks!
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Phantom

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #130 on: August 02, 2009, 02:47:34 pm »

>Ride into the sunset
>Find Ozymandias, King of Kings, God of Caves, and join forces and look for desert cavalry
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filiusenox

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #131 on: August 02, 2009, 04:48:11 pm »

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Armok

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #132 on: August 02, 2009, 08:53:40 pm »

>Tethe: Account for party, then tell everyone jump on top of you and hold on steady, and soar across the skies far above all the troubles of the world!
> Evryone else: do as Tethe says. gawk.
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Sszsszssaaayysss...
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Enzo

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #133 on: August 03, 2009, 01:46:16 am »

> Play "Flight of the Valkyries" through Tethes speakers.
> Bloodshed.
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Phantom

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Re: The Text Adventure: Tethe, the God of Death, has risen.
« Reply #134 on: August 03, 2009, 01:48:10 am »

>Ride off into the sun, absorb its power
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