what the hell... I swear you guys must be making this up on the spot... Please, explain or direct me to a post in which I can learn the rules of Tacticus.
Well, to define the rules of TACTICUS is a blasphemy in and of itself, but some of the
important things to remember are these:
The goals of TACTICUS have never truly been defined, though many have tried. Grand Saol Gompar of TACTICUS, the famous
Rev. Tinkle Blueberry, normally attempted, during the many games he took part in, to end all life as
we know it by the summoning of a lovecraftian horror in accordance with section 435 subsection 12, clause b. ii, or the
'sodding great tentacles' clause, and at the same time endeavored to make an extremely noteworthy cup of tea. Whilst the
last goal might seem strange, it is important to remember that after the Pantshelm revision of '92, tea is considered an
explosive weapon, as once mixed with the appropriate amount of milk and sugar it explodes with great force, and also that
tea is extremely tasty. This is also the reason that old ladies over the age of 60 refuse to play with the revised '92
edition, but that is neither here nor there.
An important part of TACTICUS, as we all know, is the creation of rules. The creation of rules is an integral and extremely
unstable part of TACTICUS, as it began in 1067 at the creation of the game and sort of snowballed from there. Rules can be,
and are, created at any time, including just now. Rule can, and certainly will, appear at any time and at any place
including regular space, sub space, above space, beside space, dimensions 1 right through to 834 - which, interestingly, is
the amount of TACTICUS players that can dance on the head of a pin - including the mysterious dimension W, and can appear in
z space, x space, y space, why space, t space, golf space, alpha space, orange space and, on several occasions, inside
the blouses of a number different women throughout history although they only seem to appear in the blouses of British women
over the age of 30 living in Africa, whose father's first name is William. Nobody knows why this is, but inquiries are
continuing.
Rules, once made, cannot be unmade or contradicted, lest everything collapse in on itself twice, possibly for emphasis.
Thus, the cataloging of rules has been the job of many through history. It is not an enviable job, as it is not uncommon
for the person in question to go mad before the age of 40. This is why people with this all important task are trained
in a Buddhist monastery from the age of three, practicing every moment of the day and sleeping upside down on the rafters at
night, which apparently helps them think. It is important that you familiarize yourself with every law before attempting
a game of TACTICUS but it is not vital. In lieu of doing so, you must simply remember not to contradict the other players
because considering the constant stream of new laws coming in from every conceivable dimension and space, and not least of
all women's blouses, it is not an uncommon thing for a player to go mad in an attempt to remember every rule. However, a
far more common thing, when faced with the many laws of TACTICUS, is to become extremely paranoid about everything,
although this has not happened to me and I wish you would stop saying it has. I'd also appreciate it if you stopped making
asides about my mother behind my back you smug bastard.
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Topic: TACTICUS (Read 4329 times)