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Author Topic: Remember, a story  (Read 5838 times)

Mulch Diggums

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #60 on: August 24, 2009, 07:31:27 am »

I enjoyed that, though I'm wondering how common these bunkers are. If something like this happened now, five years down the road survivors would be surprised to hear some one just stepped out of a bunker of any kind, and they would ask where it was to go loot it, I would guess. Everyone's responding to it like he said he just came back from the bathroom. Also, not that this is bad, during the whole thing I kept thinking "Where are they getting the bullets for these things?"
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Vester

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #61 on: August 24, 2009, 07:31:48 am »

Yay for update!

It does a very good job of establishing the world and the situation Cooper's in - and I find the idea that the jumpers use PK really fun. (No traceurs, though? :( )

Now to nitpick!

It's neatly put together. Here are a couple of proofreading corrections. ;D

"A prime example was his faced"
“But… I was a mile into… Grody territory. Why was their running lanes there?”
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Mulch Diggums

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #62 on: August 24, 2009, 08:55:46 am »

I thought the same thing about the running lanes thing, Vester, but as far as I know, that's actually correct grammar. But, were actually is the correct thing to use, as far as I can tell.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #63 on: August 24, 2009, 04:42:41 pm »

I could have sworn I fixed that before posting. And bunkers are fairly common. It'll make sense if I'm lucky.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #64 on: August 25, 2009, 06:20:34 pm »


It does a very good job of establishing the world and the situation Cooper's in - and I find the idea that the jumpers use PK really fun. (No traceurs, though? :( )


GABADAWABADARAEG.

More proof I need to research things before hand. As if I needed any more.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #65 on: August 27, 2009, 06:58:44 am »

Okidokie, first page updated.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #66 on: August 28, 2009, 03:57:46 am »

Removed by the author. Paranoia cited as the VESTER DAMN YOU AND YOUR INTEREST IN SOMETHING I WISHED YOU TO BE INTERESTED IN IN THE FIRST PLACE.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2009, 03:18:04 am by Jackrabbit »
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Vester

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #67 on: August 28, 2009, 04:10:53 am »

Remember all that boring exposition you had to sit through?

But no longer.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It is good.

Although Cooper's thought process is a bit dry. Well, if it's read another way, he can be construed as numb due to, you know, the whole "death of billions" thing, but he seems an emotional guy, the type to freak out even further than he does currently.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #68 on: August 28, 2009, 04:13:26 am »

Aha! Emotionality coming up!

Maybe we'll get to see Cooper explore his feminine side by playing with dolls!

Maybe that will never happen, ever.

Still, you're right, emotion must be added!
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Vester

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #69 on: August 28, 2009, 04:16:49 am »

But remember what Socrates said: "Nothing in excess."

This from the guy who was so excessively awesome that instead of executing him, they asked him to kill himself.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #70 on: August 28, 2009, 04:17:51 am »

And what, they trusted him to do it?
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Cheeetar

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #71 on: August 28, 2009, 04:29:01 am »

They basically gave him poison and said 'Drink this or we're kicking you out of the city'.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #72 on: August 28, 2009, 04:30:30 am »

Uh. Socrates was a bit to attached to the place, methinks? I mean, if I was told I could:
a) DIEDIEDIEDIE
or
b) Leave the city forever
I would be forced, in my infinite wisdom, to choose the option that didn't leave me a corpse.
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Vester

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #73 on: August 28, 2009, 04:53:00 am »

Actually, what happened was that the Athenian senate (I think) was convinced that he was a bit of a troublemaker. So they figured on punishing him for being wise and telling people that a well-examined life is a life worth living and all that, but he was popular, so they weren't just going to kill him. So they arrest him and put him on trial. The trial went badly, since they were already set on getting rid of him (Socrates said so himself during the trial). Then they told him to pick his punishment. They were expecting him to say, "banishment". Instead he said "Give me a mansion on top of a hill, and a lot of gold."

The common consensus is that he wanted to die.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Jackrabbit

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Re: Remember, a story
« Reply #74 on: August 28, 2009, 04:53:56 am »

Ha! A man after my own heart.

But there's a time and a place, seriously.
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