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Author Topic: You are now an immortal time traveler.  (Read 5831 times)

Cthulhu

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2009, 07:59:09 pm »


Tesla+Zeppelin seems like a bad idea.
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inaluct

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2009, 07:59:44 pm »

I thought of something better. It's edited in, now.
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Arathanar

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2009, 08:00:24 pm »

Duke 2.0: because you thought you had to consume your own urine to survive long enough to reach the point where said pool of primordial soup resided, not knowing your own immortality, your urine is now effectively sterile and the slightly acidic water only speeds up the evolutionary process toward a water-based lifeform.

However, due to the current waterless, non-oxygen-based climate of earth, this pool dies off quickly. As a result, there are no hoary marmots in the present day and the space they take up in the raws of Dwarf Fortress is replaced with a pre-3D elephant that only ever spawns as skeletal and breathes fire.

Cthulhu: Unfortunately, the rumors of Super Nazi Science/Occultism are true and the Fuhrerbunker is surrounded by those weird particles from Watchmen that prevent time travel or whatever. You are warped back to the present day, without Marylin Monroe.

thatguy: Sadly, the combined forces of the only two people on wikipedia with the surname "Franko" are not enough to defeat the Prussians, and thus the war is entirely insignificant and thus not recorded in history.

Because of this, your point of reference has no meaning and you are stuck in a time warp which causes the death clause of rule 3 to activate.

inaluct:

...

Ok, I don't even want to try and break that. That sounds WAY too awesome.

Dragooble:

It's sadly not aerodynamic and falls before reaching the target.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2009, 08:11:49 pm by Arathanar »
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Urist, you can't go there! The ground is PURPLE!

Cthulhu

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2009, 08:05:19 pm »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I set my sights on Queen Elizabeth this time.

Virgin Queen... We'll see about that. ;)
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qwertyuiopas

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2009, 08:11:20 pm »

1: Go back in time ~60 years

2: Savescum my way to being a chess grandmaster

3: Challenge, and win(savescum!) in every human Vs. supercomputer match possible.

4: Disapear in plane "crash" (Cleverly engineered to cause no harm)

5: Exist, and reach a point in time after the point of having read that . by natural time "travel" by waiting.

6: 10 seconds after the limit, come back and laugh at the pitiful limit

7: Have a long an infinite happy life, enjoying pizza and video games for eternity, at least the time span of eternity where they exist.

8: Spend some of that eternety researching better time travel method, at least a way to preserve some thing or knowledge through the reset, secondarily a way to time travel into the future without letting time pass normally, as well as how to locally change time's flow to halt the universe.

9: After an eternety of entertainment and discovery, make self a permnent recuring NPC in others' experiences(basically, exist unobtrusively in all timelines that contain other time travelers)!

10: Profit! Become a vast expanse of 100% unkillable knowledge that refuses to share any of it except at the best moments.

11: Change name to something else quite often, so other travelers cannot immediately recognise.

12: Create a clone without any knowledge at initial time-point to become another time traveler unaffected by this list of steps.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2009, 08:12:42 pm »

 Alas, the powers of the period exist even with 'natural' time travel.

 Now I wish to kick the first mammal.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
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Arathanar

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2009, 08:17:59 pm »

Cthulhu:

Contemplating that. I'll get back to you.

Querty:

After passing the period, you lose immortality. Sadly, your unknowing laughter causes Jack_Bread's fly from the nth++ universe, teleported into your room, to be lodged in your throat and you die.

Duke 2.0:

Not actually knowing that the transition between reptile and mammal was very gradual, you simply wait four billion years and go cow tipping.
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Strife26

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #22 on: July 22, 2009, 08:18:46 pm »

Go back before the Beer Hall Putsch and loosen one of the legs on the table that Hitler will stand on. And lace all the beer on that day with LSD.
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Jack_Bread

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #23 on: July 22, 2009, 08:19:59 pm »

Go back a few weeks to the finals test and tell myself all of the answers.

Duke 2.0

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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Arathanar

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #25 on: July 22, 2009, 08:21:57 pm »

Strife26:

Hitler breaks his leg before actually doing anything radical enough to incriminate himself, so he is taken to a hospital. At this time, LSD is discovered in his blood and the drug becomes incredibly popular. Thus, all of WWII is fought while on LSD. Unfortunately, this causes STDs to become rampant and kills off humanity.

Jack_Bread:

Ok. This does not affect you in anyway, in accordance with rule 1.
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Arathanar

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #26 on: July 22, 2009, 08:23:23 pm »

I'll have you know I know quite well early mammals I can kick.

Those are now the most awesome animals ever. However, the disproportionally large jaws bite off your leg. Due to your immunity to disease, you don't die and attempt to kick it again, losing your second leg.
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Urist, you can't go there! The ground is PURPLE!

Strife26

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #27 on: July 22, 2009, 08:24:21 pm »

Release Carry on My Wayward Son as a single in 1919.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2009, 08:25:35 pm »

I'll have you know I know quite well early mammals I can kick.

Those are now the most awesome animals ever. However, the disproportionally large jaws bite off your leg. Due to your immunity to disease, you don't die and attempt to kick it again, losing your second leg.
Then I shall shoot it with my gun.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Arathanar

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Re: You are now an immortal time traveler.
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2009, 08:27:10 pm »

Release Carry on My Wayward Son as a single in 1919.

The few people you can convince into listening to it die from top-hat implosion. You are then arrested for murder, but promptly released due to the Truth in Advertising Acts not existing yet.

I'll have you know I know quite well early mammals I can kick.

Those are now the most awesome animals ever. However, the disproportionally large jaws bite off your leg. Due to your immunity to disease, you don't die and attempt to kick it again, losing your second leg.
Then I shall shoot it with my gun.

What type of gun is it?

By the way, new rule. Check the first post.
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Urist, you can't go there! The ground is PURPLE!
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