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[Chalk]

Tell me your stories about dwarves dieing in horrible, unpredictable (maybe too predictable), and embarrassing ways. Bonus level: magma-related.

When I was very new to the game, I lost a good bit of my fortress to a family of skeletal mountain goats that immigrated to our fair land, unnoticed by all. Figures I would choose that day to train up my herbalists...

More recently, when a dragon visited my most recent fortress, I went 'ohsitohshitohshit i am going to DIE' and drafted a TON of dwarves into my fledgling army. Figures, then, that one had put all his stat boosts into agility, and ZOOMED across the map, forgoing the armor assigned him, to get...well, you can guess. Nice knowing you, Bembul.

[ChairmanPoo]

why is magma related a bonus? bad management of water or magma is behind most dwarven deaths, after all

[ManaUser]

My fortress is not a good place to raise children. Not even counting standard goblin attacks and suck, so far I've had a baby fall down a well, and another murdered by a berserk glassmaker.  For added drama, the fortress was also flooding during the second event.

[yaklin]

my most pathetic death: my hunter spotted a small ambush in the forest as he was hunting groundhogs. he was a rather strong dwarf and well trained in the crossbow. the only thing i wasn't counting on was that he was asleep when he found them and was promptly killed in his sleep

[Slogo]

I had an amusing death with my first orc fort. I was going along alright (the spot was kind of an odd setup) into the 2nd spring. I had the magma forges up and running, most of the basic services running, a draw bridge at the main entrance and part of the brook sectioned off for power and water. Or so I thought. When the first orc siege came there was still 3 sections of wall unbuilt. I hastily tried to complete them with no avail and the miners were uncooperative in digging a moat for makeshift protection (I had some tiles queued to mine elsewhere that I forgot about). As the orcs neared the fortress I stationed my naked and very green military, aka almost all of the 15 dwarves in my fort to make a stand at the now 1 tile thick gap in the wall. The orcs poured in and the poor dwarves didn't stand a chance. I was left with 4 cowardly dwarves left. I did the only sensible thing left to do. I stationed 3 of the dwarves in the furthest back portion of the fort and ordered the remaining dwarf to breach the magma pipe. Bravely the dwarf complied and the fort began to run hot with magma. The orcs were not impressed. They side stepped the magma, bee lined straight for the remaining dwarves, and slaughtered them. Presumably they still had enough time to escape the tide of magma that was soon to cut off their escape. So not only did my fort suffer an orcish death but it was unviable for reclaiming (which I wouldn't have done anyways). At least the orcs didn't get it.

[Jervous]

I was building a tower. One of my dwarves went over to the other side to build some floors/fortifications. He got stuck and he starved while my dwarves were working frantically to build floors over to him.

[Slogo]

Why didn't you just have him deconstruct his way out?

[Zironic]

Why didn't you just have him deconstruct his way out?

There has to be sacrifice to make some great.

[chaturga]

Had one of my dwarves die.... to an ELF!

Had a random ambush (Elves got pissy, apparently its me who has been staging goblin ambushes on their caravans). A Pump Operator was outside for some reason, maybe looking for somthing to crank, and *Poof* Wooden spear right through him, instantly dies. I would have been less embaressed if he had lasted long enough to atleast try and fight back..... I refuse to bury the stupid elf-fodder.

[Im_Sparks]

I feel dwarves are starting to become like Orks from Warhammer 40,000 dollars.

EY! YOUZ NOBLES IZ MUCKIN' ABOUT!

This thread may well have been "WUTS DA WURST UN-DORFY DEFF EVA HAD?"

[Jimmy]

In one of my earlier fortresses, I breached the underground magma pipe and decided to cap the top in clear glass blocks, so that all could look down and see the molten death below. I left one or two spots open for magma smelters and such.

Due to the workload involved, I created a communal bed barracks for my workers nearby while the project was being completed. However, two recruits thought it would make a great spot to get some wrestling practice in as well.

Urist McWrestler cancels sparring in barracks: dangerous terrain.

He'd dodged right down the hole for the magma smelter.

[Goran]

I had a somewhat similar and embarassing event with a barracks that was carved out as a terrace along the chasm. It was a long fall, nobody ever heard when he landed.

Other than that, one of the more embarrasing moments was when I modded my dwarves with the fireimmune and swim innate tags and they went to haul stones through the magma chamber. Not a refreshing swim.

[Jimmy]

ROFL. Yeah, that [FIREIMMUNE] tag creates some interesting situations.

[ChairmanPoo]

yeah, the problem with barracks is that they are supposed to be the general sleeping quarters, but soldiers also spar there. Hence, you put stuff that wouldnt normally be dangerous, and could be even useful (IE: wells), and it results in demises. I think this is getting fixed in the next release

[Keldor]

You know, if you just build beds and leave the place undesignated, they'll sleep there, without any of that sparring nonsense.

Anyway...

I had a fisherdwarf randomly killed by a kobold thief.  I get the announcement, zoom over, and discover the fisherdwarf there with a torn out throat.  He proceeds to bleed out moments later.  Alas, the kobold proved faster than the three or so other dwarves in the courtyard, and faster than the nearby caravan guards, and made good its escape.  I figure that the fisherdwarf blundered into the hiding kobold, which panicked, lashing out with its dagger and landing a lucky hit.