To-morrow~ And, right now~
zchris13 - Determine shape of meadow. Determine what type of center would be best to find. (centroid, some other stuff, Algebra II and Geometry II which I don't remember and didn't do respectively...)
Go to said center.
(3) You can't survey the whole damn meadow, but you determine that you stand at the one end of the thing, and therefore should walk away from this end. This might even be the correct direction, provided the whole thing is not too fractal.
(1) As your bad luck wills it, you run into a steampunk zombie elephant eviscerating some redshirts! It notices you!
tehstefan - I try and shoot a mole, and then use my swordchucks if they try and double team me.
(5) As the moles appear to be confused, you pretend they are a rock and shoot one of them. It's a clean shot, and it dies quickly. You ready another arrow, as the moles don't seem to do anything particular...
You may attempt to shoot twice next turn.
Jack_Bread - Okay, try out "Leeroy Jenkins". Then milk the nearest mammal.
(1) You scream "Leeroy Jenkins!!!" The dog pretends to not notice you, and the barkeep facepalms, as your loud command attracts a very furious medic who seems to have her clothing ruined by a mad idiot rushing through the front door. She does not appear to be very receptive to diplomacy, or excuses. She wields an enormous longbow and an entirely unsettling silver scalpel.
Eagle - Try to communicate telepathically with the can solders/knights. If that fails, DESTROY THEM. WITH TELEKINETIC FIRE.
I name my soldiers, along with my earlier stated action. The 2 wielding katanas shall be my sergeants
Club: Robby
Halberd 1: Johnny
Halberd 2: Tommy
Sword 1: Sammy
Sword 2: Bobby
Katana 1: Magnus von Magnusson
Katana 2: Max Fightmaster
Crossbow 1, Crossbow 2, Flamethrower: Demolitions Expert Nobby
(3) You try communications once more but fail once more, so you activate your TK powers and try to telekinetically burninate your opponent! You also name your troopers and split them in three squads (grunts, guard, and nobby), and order them to attack! Unfortunately, this takes up all your precious time you scheduled for TK burning.
Dies-Horribly - Okay, um. I forgot which slots are still open. I'll play the DDoS card in the leftmost available slot.
CHARGE!
Oh, and mind the walkie-talkie.
The slots are quantum, essentially. So you reach out to the far left and place the--
DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
It's Gutsman's ass! It has some SHAVING CREAM on it (not pictured)! This makes things more unsettling by the tenfold.
You attempt to ignore the vile thing (3) and find yourself unable to see through it, so you just slam the DDoS card in a random slot to the left. (5) Fortunately, it was the right one. You played it in the LEFT FLANK slot. There will be a DDoS carpetbombing in the left flank for now, making it entirely unusable.
You pick up the walkie-talkie again (5) and notice that it has several different settings, such as SLEEPER, ARMY and OPPONENT. It also has an on/off switch, which was set to off. After facepalming, you switch it on and command your ARMY to charge the opponent while staying off the left flank.
Memory roll: (1) You forget to draw a card AND to inspect some card of yours. Silly you!
Barkeep - Try to talk Jack_Bread out of doing even more stupid things.
(2) It's too late! Instead, he takes a few very, very cautious steps back.
Squad Grunts - ATTAAACK!
(6) In a great and furious charge, the grunt squad storms the ladder-building can soldiers. They strike down most of them in a matter of seconds, albeit with some serious collateral.
Squad Guards - Guard the sarge.
(1) They end up asking everyone who the sarge actually is, and fail to find him.
Squad Nobby - Mwahahahahaha...
(3) Nobby sets up the flamethrower and the (repeater) crossbows. This will take a while...
Can Ambushers - React to meatbags' silly antics.
(1) They assume no ill will from your side and continue working on their ladder, which works slightly unwell thanks to lack of hands.
- Third turn, amirite?
A summoning occurs. A helpful window spouts out that
has summoned a Sub Commander, Princess Tenko.
Dog - Obey orders!
(3) It sees no reason to search for chicken right now, so it remains put.
Rabid Moles - Waltz in and surround!
(2) They appear to be bickering who gets to attack the left and who attacks the right.
Statuses
The Game.
Hand of Dies-Horribly: Giant Enemy Bomber, Get out of jail free card, Vindovs Vista - Dracula Edition
Life vial of Dies-Horribly: 10/10
Played cards of Dies-Horribly: Ass Card (Left Red), Night of the Steampunk Zombies (Center Red), Longcat Flail&Kitten Geysir (Delay, 4 remaining), DDoS Carpet Bombing (Left Flank)
's hand:
??
's Life Vial: 10/10
's played cards: Redshirt Army, Rotating Laser Cannons, Princess Tenko,
Zchris13
Status: On weird, green meadow. One with the vines. Highly energized. Leader of the party. Donkey ears.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic
Equipment: Rose flower hat (unremovable), Pair of strange goggles.
Inventory: Imaginary roll of duct tape, 200 gold, Soft cushions, tea set
Jack_Bread
Status: Headache. Bruise on head. ROCK DRILL FINGER! Communicating with non-caring dog.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic, Trippin' Master, Improptu Tailor
Equipment: Two dolled-up knives, Black Fingerless Gloves
Inventory: Fainted Metapod named Goo, 200 gold, Paperclip
'Scarface' tehstefan
Status: Minor hangover. Haphazard shave. In matrix. Hole in leg. Bleeding.
Skills: Firephobia. Basic idea of Archery. Good VS. inanimate, defenseless objects (+1)
Equipment: Sword-chucks with dulled hilts. Five cm layer of dust.
Inventory: Shortbow, 300 gold.
Eagle
Status: Apparently fire immune. -100 gp to destructive magic cost! Knows telekinesis. And is excessive about it. Bandaid on leg. Soaked hobo cloak. Officer's uniform. Leads confused army of eight to the east. AMBUSH!
Skills: Spellcasting
Equipment: Gnarled, singed staff. xMojotastic Hairbandx.
Inventory: Several incense sticks. 300 gold.
Banjo hand puppet.
Dies-Horribly
Status: Doomed. Big bruise on chest. Face very much harmed. Major hangover.
Skills: Nope.
Equipment: None, to your very great disgress.
Inventory: 100 gold. 1 'Get a weapon for free' coupon. Two detached right hands. Brick labeled 'HANG' with curd smeared to its bottom. Walkie-talkie.
Medic
Status: Furious. Like, real furious.
Skills: Expert Medic, Sharpshooter.
Equipment: Ruined violet and red clothing. Longbow. Quiver of +1 Arrows. Silver scalpel.
Inventory: Various poisons and explosives.
Barkeep
Status: Defensive position. Green stuff in face.
Skills: Something awesome probably.
Equipment: Formal wear. Spare cloak. Laser cane.
Dog
Status: Woof?
Skills: "Leeroy Jenkins", "Spaced Out Man" and "Gastrointestinal Nuke"
Mima
Status: In the shadows, cackling madly.
Skills: Black Magic, Ghostness.
Equipment: Green-violet ensemble, wizard's hat
'Rabbit' Soldier 1, 3, Commander
Nonfactor.
Army of Eight
Grunt Squad
Club: Robby - major gash on left arm
Halberd 1: Johnny - poked out left eye
Halberd 2: Tommy - broken right arm
Sword 1: Sammy - no injuries
Sword 2: Bobby - lots of bruises
Guard Squad
Katana 1: Magnus von Magnusson
Katana 2: Max Fightmaster
Nobby Squad
Crossbow 1, Crossbow 2, Flamethrower: Demolitions Expert Nobby
In No-Formation
AMBUSHERS
Can Soldier 3, 5
Can Knight 1, 2
Building a ladder.
Rabid Mole 1, 3
Rabidly arguing.
Steampunk Skelephant
Seriously.
GLOBAL ANNOUNCEMENT: FROM NOW ON, PLAYERS IN 'THE GAME' MAY DRAW UP TO TWO CARDS EACH TURN.
Author
Topic: Boss Rush RtD - MSPA Intermission. (T27/Psyche) (Read 71220 times)