Yarr!
zchris13 - Unequip goggle. Equip goggles. Compare.
Commune with grass and soil.
(2) You can't see any difference... but this might be because you're staring into empty space.
You don't understand soil (besides, 95% of it is not printable), and the grass is way too unattentive. You stomp it a few times for that.
tehstefan - Stare at rabid mole, and shoot with with mah bow if it does anything threatening. Like, jump at me with teeth bared.
(5) You setup for a staring match with the mole, and ready an arrow in case he decides to cheat.
Jack_Bread - Teach the barkeep dog tricks. Reward him with not being severely beaten.
(6) Remembering your old resolve, you CHAAAAARGE into the apothecary while your rider lasers down any resistance. The barkeep directs you in the direction of the Happy Fun Chamber, which you storm. Inside it is the dog. You very quickly teach it the tricks "Leeroy Jenkins", "Spaced Out Man" and "Gastrointestinal Nuke". Even though you appear to have a scrap of violet-red cloth in your mouth, you managed to make your point very clear.
Eagle - Anyways, form up a better defensive square. Ready weapons. Diplomacy if possible.
(4) With you out of the way, the soldiers form a better defensive huddlesquare and poke their weapons to the outside. You step ahead and tell the cans you want to meet their leader.
Dies-Horribly - Play Kitten Geysir and Longcat flail, next to eachother (right of the zombie card).
Inspect Heavy Weapons Turtle.
Examine playing area?
(1) You have the brilliant, if you do say so yourself, idea to combo the longcat-flail with the kitten geysir. Unfortunately, the slot you played them at was "Delay 5 turns"
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
The heavy weapons turtle description was 404'd and replaced with a TMNT fanfic. After reading 100 words of it, you resolve to find a bucket of nuclear brain bleach.
(5) As you return with the bleach and miraculously apply it somehow without going insane, you remember you wanted to inspect the playing field. The weak red dots advance cautiously but are beaten back easily without loosing very many steampunk zombies. You look back at the other pedestal, and it appears to have gotten an upgrade. Two bright blue dots are gleaming on it. Then, you see the violet dot, and curiously decide to see what it is. It's name appears to be 'Vine Elemental' (2) You can't see how this would possibly be relevant at all. Instead, you resolve to draw your card.
It is:
(1) DdoS carpet bombing
Barkeep - Charge and clear the way.
(4) He goes back into proper mounting position, draws his cane and lasers the first rabbit to approach. And the second. And anything in his way. At least with the shots that don't miss.
Rabbit Squad - Cautious advance...
(4) They decide to change gears to 'uncautious retreat' after getting overloaded with too much focused light for their own good.
Can Ambushers - React to meatbags' advances.
(3) The language barrier is great, which might be the main reason why they are currently manufacturing a ladder.
- Do turn and all that.
The pedestal appears to be more fortified.
Dog - React to rescue in cynic manner.
(4) He slowly walks for the barkeep and sniffs his butt, which yields him a mug of beer.
Rabid Mole - CLAAAAAAAAAWS
(3) The rabid mole advances! This allows tehstefan to get a relatively easy shot in. (6) The mole is hit and catapulted backwards by the force of the blow.
It has been struck down!
Only to be replaced by three more moles.
Statuses
The Game.
Hand of Dies-Horribly: Giant Enemy Bomber, Kitten Geysir, Get out of jail free card, Vindovs Vista - Dracula Edition
Life vial of Dies-Horribly: 10/10
Played cards of Dies-Horribly: Ass Card (Left Red), Night of the Steampunk Zombies (Center Red), Longcat Flail&Kitten Geysir (Delay, 5 remaining)
's hand:
??
's Life Vial: 10/10
's played cards: Redshirt Army, Rotating Laser Cannons,
Zchris13
Status: On weird, green meadow. One with the vines. Highly energized. Leader of the party. Donkey ears.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic
Equipment: Rose flower hat (unremovable), Pair of strange goggles.
Inventory: Imaginary roll of duct tape, 200 gold, Soft cushions, tea set
Jack_Bread
Status: Headache. Bruise on head. ROCK DRILL FINGER! Communicating with non-caring dog.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic, Trippin' Master, Improptu Tailor
Equipment: Two dolled-up knives, Black Fingerless Gloves
Inventory: Fainted Metapod named Goo, 200 gold, Paperclip
'Scarface' tehstefan
Status: Minor hangover. Haphazard shave. In matrix. Hole in leg. Bleeding.
Skills: Firephobia. Basic idea of Archery. Good VS. inanimate, defenseless objects (+1)
Equipment: Sword-chucks with dulled hilts. Five cm layer of dust.
Inventory: Shortbow, 300 gold.
Eagle
Status: Apparently fire immune. -100 gp to destructive magic cost! Knows telekinesis. And is excessive about it. Bandaid on leg. Soaked hobo cloak. Officer's uniform. Leads confused army of eight to the east. AMBUSH!
Skills: Spellcasting
Equipment: Gnarled, singed staff. xMojotastic Hairbandx.
Inventory: Several incense sticks. 300 gold.
Banjo hand puppet.
Dies-Horribly
Status: Doomed. Big bruise on chest. Face very much harmed. Major hangover.
Skills: Nope.
Equipment: None, to your very great disgress.
Inventory: 100 gold. 1 'Get a weapon for free' coupon. Two detached right hands. Brick labeled 'HANG' with curd smeared to its bottom. Walkie-talkie.
Medic
Status: Trying to get a change of clothing.
Skills: Expert Medic, Sharpshooter.
Equipment: Violet and red clothing. Longbow. Quiver of +1 Arrows.
Inventory: Various medicine and bandaids. Unknown.
Barkeep
Status: Defensive position. Green stuff in face.
Skills: Something awesome probably.
Equipment: Formal wear. Spare cloak. Laser cane.
Dog
Status: Woof?
Skills: "Leeroy Jenkins", "Spaced Out Man" and "Gastrointestinal Nuke"
Mima
Status: In the shadows, cackling madly.
Skills: Black Magic, Ghostness.
Equipment: Green-violet ensemble, wizard's hat
'Rabbit' Soldier 1, 3, Commander
Nonfactor.
Army of Eight
Soldier 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
In Hedgehog-with-a-cold formation
AMBUSHERS
Can Soldier 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Can Knight 1, 2
Building a ladder.
Rabid Mole 1, 2, 3
Rabid.