Here goes, turn twenty!
zchris13 - My action is, "Call me!". To the ladies.
(1) The ladies appear to have misinterpreted your statement, as you get a rock hurled at your face. You go down.
When you briefly fade back in, you hear words. Two voices... One of the voices is... familiar... "...okay, so that is settled. I'll get this rascal here and you get the archer guy." "I'm glad we came to an agreement." "Yes, indeed. Do you have any further requests?" "Yes, the usual fare." "Good, I'll have a rabbit deliver the crate with the poisons." "Ah, that reminds me. Got any booze?" At this point, you fade back to black.
When you wake - again -, you are on a meadow. A big meadow, at the foot of a huge... mountain? No, too smooth. A giant black rock monolith? And why can you see the stars?
Actually, you feel a little... something's wrong, you can't put your finger on it... Oh, you appear to be holding a note. On it a message is scribbled, in great haste apparently. It is clearly your handwriting, although you don't recall writing it.
The message is:
ONLY YOU CAN SAVE KEYBOARD
Huh. Cryptic.
tehstefan - I try and figure out whats going on with the people outside.
(1) You approach the site. And then, your common sense blacks out, and you walk up to the building, and then you wonder why you appear to have a hole in your leg...
You are seized too, while being incredibulously ponderous.
Jack_Bread - Punch wall then follow dog.
If I can't follow the dog, follow the barkeep.
(6) You punch the wall with all of your strength.
Drill Sign 'The Drill The Who Pierces Bhava-Agra'
You have no fucking idea how that happened, but a) the shop, and the building behind it, and the tree behind that building are gone and converted to (saw)dust. Second, your finger has converted to a... rock drill.
Pumped full of adrenaline, you abduct the barkeep, and run for the apothecary. The soldiers are paralyzed in fear.
Eagle - Keep converting soldiers as we go. Once we reach the enemy army, use telekinesis to drop something heavy on them. Like a mountain. (3+1)
zchris-tan: NO. USE THE EGO, LUKE... ERM, EAGLE. (1-1)
You are slightly disoriented, suddenly, and get a small pain in the head. You're not quite sure what the cause could have been, but you narrow it down to tiny spaceships farting in your brain, the side effects of telekinesis, and your teammates being in peril. Wait, the last one is silly. If anyone is in peril around your teammates it's the insurances.
(1) You manage to disprove Banjo's godliness thanks to incredibly overconvulted reasoning. Your army is confused, and you spend the rest of the turn reorganizing -
An ambush! Curse them!
Dies-Horribly -
Also, read rules. Probably 'read rules and s-s-start', if you are going to make me roll for reading the rules.
(5)
You read the rules. They basically amount to "Draw five cards at start, and one extra every turn. Playing the cards in the slots on the table-thing activates their effects. You may maximally play one summon per turn. You may 'inspect' one card per turn to see what it does. Two rolls, better wins. Depending on what slot you play cards in, effects may differ. You win if a) the opponent is annihilated, b) the sky is paved, c) the world is flooded with magma, or d) you find your magic artifact.
You therefore draw 5+1 cards. They are:
(3) an Ass Card
(5) a 'Night Of The Steampunk Zombies' summon
(4) an 'Kitten Geysir' spell card
(6) a 'Giant Enemy Bomber' summon
(2) a 'Get out of jail free' card
(1) a 'Vindovs Vista - Dracula Edition' coupon
Barkeep - Remember cloak. Retrieve cloak.
(6) He screams "CLOOOOOOAAAK! NOOOOOO!" He then takes out his spare cloak.
Orange-Hair - Go off for mysterious reasons (likely involving a knitting club)
(6) She uses a white-hole based propelling mechanism to shoot herself in direction of... a house 5m away. She then enters. Amazingly, nothing breaks.
Red-Hair - Find razor. Use razor to mutilate self.
(5) Being insulted by a man, being fired, and centuries of getting bullied finally take their toll. She sobs, enters the next weapon store... and doesn't exit again.
Depressive Soldier - Have nice, relaxing dreams.
(1) He screams and wakes up, and goes into the nearest building. Sounds of ripping fabric can be heard.
Dog - Hiiiiiiiiiiiiide.
(1) The moment everyone notices the smell from an unprocastrinatable business affair he gets found, and brought into the Happy Fun Relaxation Chamber 3000.
Statuses
The Game.
Hand of Dies-Horribly: Ass Card, Night of the Steampunk Zombies, Giant Enemy Bomber, Get out of jail free card, Vindovs Vista - Dracula Edition
Life vial of Dies-Horribly: 10/10
Zchris13
Status: On weird, green meadow. One with the vines. Highly energized. Leader of the party.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic
Equipment: Rose flower hat (unremovable), Pair of strange goggles.
Inventory: Imaginary roll of duct tape, 200 gold, Soft cushions, tea set
Jack_Bread
Status: Headache. Bruise on head. ROCK DRILL FINGER! Piggybacking the barkeep and performing an A+ Leeroy maneuvre.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic, Trippin' Master, Improptu Tailor
Equipment: Two dolled-up knives, Black Fingerless Gloves
Inventory: Fainted Metapod named Goo, 200 gold, Paperclip
'Scarface' tehstefan
Status: Minor hangover. Haphazard shave. In custody.
Skills: Firephobia. Basic idea of Archery. Good VS. inanimate, defenseless objects (+1)
Equipment: Sword-chucks with dulled hilts. Five cm layer of dust.
Inventory: Shortbow, 300 gold.
Eagle
Status: Apparently fire immune. -100 gp to destructive magic cost! Knows telekinesis. And is excessive about it. Bandaid on leg. Soaked hobo cloak. Officer's uniform. Leads confused army of eight to the east. AMBUSH!
Skills: Spellcasting
Equipment: Gnarled, singed staff. xMojotastic Hairbandx.
Inventory: Several incense sticks. 300 gold.
Banjo hand puppet.
Dies-Horribly
Status: Doomed. Big bruise on chest. Face very much harmed. Major hangover.
Skills: Nope.
Equipment: None, to your very great disgress.
Inventory: 100 gold. 1 'Get a weapon for free' coupon. Two detached right hands. Brick labeled 'HANG' with curd smeared to its bottom. Walkie-talkie.
Medic
Status: Somewhere else.
Skills: Expert Medic, Sharpshooter.
Equipment: Violet and red clothing. Longbow. Quiver of +1 Arrows.
Inventory: Various medicine and bandaids. Unknown.
Barkeep
Status: Getting piggybacked by Jack_Bread. Terrified and in tears of joy at the same time.
Skills: Something awesome probably.
Equipment: Formal wear. Spare cloak.
Orange-Hair
Status: Smashed.
Skills: Something destructive probably.
Equipment: White soaked shirt, tiger-patterned skirt,
twin horns, a bottleRed-Hair
Status: Needs a freaking drink. And professional help. And... a cleric.
Skills: Martial arts?
Equipment: Green uniform, green cap.
Depressive Soldier
Status: In random house.
Skills: Nothing special?
Equipment: Standard-issue, battered soldier armor.
Dog
Mima
Status: In the shadows, cackling madly.
Skills: Black Magic, Ghostness.
Equipment: Green-violet ensemble, wizard's hat
'Rabbit' Soldier 1, 2, 3, 4
Status: TERRIFIED.
Equipment: Silly rabbit ear helmets, tie, rifle.
'Rabbit' Commander
Status: Hiding behind nearest barrel.
Equipment: Silly rabbit ear pickelhaube, tie, tuxedo, rifle.
AMBUSHERS
Can Soldier 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Can Knight 1, 2
Author
Topic: Boss Rush RtD - MSPA Intermission. (T27/Psyche) (Read 70214 times)