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[Enzo]

So, what gets massive coffee stains out of a beige carpet?

And no, my house is not located on a magma pipe, so that's not gonna work.

[Jack_Bread]

Pour lava on it.

Are you expecting someone to come over? If you aren't go out and buy something. Hopefully related to your current dilemma.

[Sordid]

You could pour more coffee on it to stain the rest of it as well, turning the beige carpet into a brown one.

[Enzo]

Pour lava on it.

Are you expecting someone to come over? If you aren't go out and buy something. Hopefully related to your current dilemma.

Yes, I started this topic with the expectation that someone will come to my house and remove the coffee from my carpet. On their hands and knees. With their tongue. In a maid uniform.

ARE YOU SAYING THIS IS AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION?

I like the way you think, Sordid. Everything is better in excess.

[Aqizzar]

Put furniture on it.  It'll be Schrodinger's Stain - as long as no one can see it, it may as well not exist!

And I think he meant are you expecting company?  It matters for how quick a solution you want.

[Jack_Bread]

I meant as in a guest like your mother or something.

Ninja'd What Aqizzar said.

[Enzo]

Ah, no. I would just prefer to not lose my damage deposit due to an enormous brown stain in the middle of my room. I've scrubbed it down from a stain to a discolouration, but it's still pretty noticeable. So...there are cleaning products that actually get stains out of carpets? Because the only ones I've seen work also tend to bleach the carpet which is ultimately worse. Renting a steamcleaner would cost me almost as much as losing my deposit, so that's out.

[Sordid]

Well of course it's going to be noticable if you just bleach the bit where the stain was. Do what I told you, bleach it all to keep the color even and you'll be fine.

[Aqizzar]

Oh, you're worried about a rent deposit.  Well, that definitely limits your options, since the deposit will probably be cheaper that most of our hairbrained suggestions.

Maybe boxcutter out that section of carpet and replace it with a sample square of the same color?

[Duke 2.0]

 Throw a shag rug over it. It really does not matter that there is a carpet underneath, put a rug over it.

[Aqizzar]

He's saying that the place is a rental, and that the landlord will certainly notice when the furniture is gone.  They make you put down a carpet deposit for just this sort of reason.

Maybe beige spraypaint?

[Enzo]

Oh, you're worried about a rent deposit.  Well, that definitely limits your options, since the deposit will probably be cheaper that most of our hairbrained suggestions.

Maybe boxcutter out that section of carpet and replace it with a sample square of the same color?

This might work, and is actually a pretty brilliant plan. I own crazy glue. Beige spraypaint, probably not. Paint on carpet is crunchy.

If only I had a Shamwow. You know those germans make great stuff.

[woose1]

If only I had a Shamwow. You know those germans make great stuff.

SHAM-wow doesn't work. It's a sham.

[Aqizzar]

If only I had a Shamwow. You know those germans make great stuff.

SHAM-wow doesn't work. It's a sham.

Well, there goes this great idea.

[woose1]

If only I had a Shamwow. You know those germans make great stuff.

SHAM-wow doesn't work. It's a sham.

Well, there goes this great idea.

1-uped.