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Author Topic: What a conundrum  (Read 8128 times)

Jude

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2009, 11:54:56 am »

He didn't even actually ask for money. Wtf?
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I once started with a dwarf that was "belarded by great hanging sacks of fat."

Oh Jesus

Cthulhu

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2009, 01:08:12 pm »

Maybe he's getting to that, or hoping Umiman will try to come over there so they can kidnap and ransom?

Imbed a small camera in your skull and go over there and get kidnapped, Umiman.   We'll photoshop funny things onto their faces.
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Ohaeri

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #32 on: July 15, 2009, 04:30:11 pm »

He didn't even actually ask for money. Wtf?

Usually when a prospective mark answers, they get into what exactly they require in the second email. Can't scare 'em off too quickly.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #33 on: July 15, 2009, 04:48:09 pm »

 And it is not terribly hard to imagine what the next E-mail would contain. Most likely along the lines of "The hotel manager asks for 12,000 USD. Help!"
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Dragooble

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #34 on: July 15, 2009, 05:43:26 pm »

hehe. this reminds me of a book i read recently. The Good, The Spam, And The Ugly. it was a collection of email conversations with spammers and some guys made up alter egos. his alter egos include: Barney Rubble, Adolf Hitler, the yogi, Max Baer (Yogi Baer) and fake accounts of spammers that have contacted him in the past that try to stop the spammers from communicating with his alter egos. one involved barney rubble attempting to strangle Yogi baer to death, shooting his wife Betty in half with an auto loading shotgun, and converting to Scientology.
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Habblatic

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #35 on: July 15, 2009, 06:28:38 pm »

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Nilocy

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #36 on: July 15, 2009, 06:42:47 pm »

The thing with these emails is that anyone can send them out and there'll be some dupe out there willing to fall for it. Now, let me make this a more realisitic and believable plee-mail and guarenteed one of you WILL fall for it. So, i put it to you guys to make a more believable email, also we must halp umi with his problem here. In the most sensible way possible.


<Greeting>,
 
MY NAME IS <Name1>, I ARRIVED FROM <country1> WITH MY LATE FATHER TWO CONSIGNMENT <Item1> CONTAINING <Money amount1>.  MY FATHER TOGETHER WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY, <Extra dead things> WERE MURDERED BECAUSE OF THE <current or imagined crisis atm> THAT IS GOING ON IN MY COUNTRY, WHEN I ARRIVED IN <country2>, I CONTACTED ONE <Name2> FROM <country3> TO HELP ME, HE ASKED ME TO TAKE SOME MONEY OUT OF <Item1> AND SEND TO HIM FOR HIM TO KNOW IF I AM TELLING THE TRUTH, AND I TOOK <Money amount1> OUT OF MY <Item1> AND I SENT IT TO HIM <Some for of transport1> AND HE TOLD ME TO <Do something>, AND I SHOULD GIVE THE <somebody1> MY <Item1> FOR SAFEKEEPING, WHICH I DID.
 
BUT AFTER <Some form of transport1> THE MONEY TO HIM, HIS PHONE NUMBER THAT <Something given to him1> ME WAS SWITCHED OFF AND FOR THE PAST <time> I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CALL <Name2> BUT I CAN NOT GET THROUGH TO HIM, HE HAS RAN AWAY WITH <Item/Money> I ASKED THE <Somebody1> TO GIVE ME MY <item1> NOW AND HE <Did something about it>, HE SAID I SHOULD PAY HIM <Back for something> FOR THE SAFEKEEPING OF <Anything you can think of>.
 
I DO NOT WANT THE <somebody2> TO KNOW THE CONTENT OF THE <item> BECAUSE HE CAN ALSO WANT TO STEAL IT, I WAS CRYING IN THE STREETS <Time> WHEN I MET ONE <Ethnicity> MAN THAT CAME FOR <Job> IN AFRICA, HE THEN NOW  GAVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS  FOR ME TO CONTACT YOU, THAT YOU CAN HELP ME, PLEASE , IF THERE IS ANYWAY YOU CAN HELP ME OR ANYBODY YOU TRUST THAT CAN COME TO MY RESCUE PLEASE SIR DO IT FOR ME BECAUSE I AM VERY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.
 
I AM READY TO DO WHATEVER YOU SAY <including something>, IT IS JUST THAT I NEED TO GET MY BOX FROM THE HOTEL MANAGER THAT'S ALL AND I WANT TO LEAVE AFRICA AND INVEST THIS MONEY ABROAD, MAY GOD BLESS YOU  AS I HOPE THIS MAIL WITH GET TO YOU I N GOOD CONDITION.
 
YOUR SON
<Name1>
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Puck

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #37 on: July 15, 2009, 06:45:18 pm »

http://www.419eater.com/

Always fun.
Beat me to it.

Apart from that, there's only one thing I can say about that mail... " This looks legit! "

Org

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #38 on: July 15, 2009, 06:45:54 pm »

Uniman is dead?

And he has a son?
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chaoticag

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2009, 12:44:26 am »

Hey guys, I got one too! (Also, Arabic names do not come with a middle name).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: July 16, 2009, 01:20:39 am by chaoticag »
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Jack_Bread

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2009, 12:48:16 am »

Replace code tags with spoiler, please.

EDIT: Respond like this:
Age: 6
Phone Number: 101-666-1337
Fax Number: 101-133-7666
Questions:
1) That's a HUGE maybe. There is a 50/50 chance of this.
2) I raped my family.
3) ((Insert URL to various porn))

I'm sorry, but I can't call IP Addresses.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2009, 12:55:03 am by Jack_Bread »
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Dragooble

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2009, 12:54:30 am »

no, send them the phone number for PETA's headquarters.
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Osmosis Jones

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2009, 01:13:42 am »

no, send them the phone number for PETA's headquarters.

This man wins!

Also, make sure to submit the hilarious results to 419eater.
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Cthulhu

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2009, 01:45:15 am »

Blessings of Almighty God upon sir or madan,

I hope that this message wil be ccarrid by God to you.  I am pastor of small church in Nigeria.  We are very poor and die in the streets.  Some of us cannot food for days.  We have in our posesion amount of money equal to 5000000000.00(FIVE BILLION)dollars USD but we cannot access money.  We need foreign person blessed by Almighty God to take money and return to us to be used do  not ask why.  If you can do this for us we willl alllow you to keep 1000000000(ONE BILLION MAYBE I'M NOT SURE IT HARD TO COUNT ZEROS).  If you can do this glorious task for God's church plase respond with hast.

Sincerely
Pastor Mjenga Wjenga Utumbo of the church  of GOD AND JESUS


Gonna be rich once I start sending this out.
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Dragooble

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Re: What a conundrum
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2009, 01:53:44 am »

that peta phone number thing was in the book lol. the victim apparently called it several times.
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