I really wanna join CORP, I gotta say.
WARNING: A GIANT ADVENTURE-DUMP IS APPROACHING FAST!
NO REFUGE
Also, this is why I play HellMOO. For what just happened tonight. Me (Julian) and my good friend Dr.Calculator decide to rampage across the wastes unceremoniously peeking our heads into places they do not belong. I'm fully equipped and he's running without items (truly a lack of faith in my leadership abilities, I say.)
First we go south through the crater and find Birchwood. After a few apparitions attack us we explore a few houses. We get lost in some mist and Doc gets beaten up by a romper, but he lives. Having seen our share of this dread city, we head southwest, hopefully to brighter pastures.
Not quite. We end up in New Clearwater. We're unsure of the hostility of the citizens. Doc walks into a training camp. Three of them are inside, and they pay him no mind. Thankful, I walk in after him.
TRIPLE AGRO.
Two take swings at me with boxcutters-- nothing to worry about, but one blows off 25 health with an AK7 rather quickly. Doc runs in, rescues me, I calm down and smoke the room up. We escape, barely. Murdering a few weaker citizens in revenge and picking up some nightvision goggles, we head east, briefly exploring the Diablo Seco. After some uptight NPC asshole takes a shot at us with a laser pistol, we get the message. Smashing buttons on the coolant control panel was our last action before our tactical retreat back to clearwater.
Supplies are running low at this point. In my case, booze, for rapid health regeneration. We head west into the glass mesa, and find nothing of use to $*@!ing anybody; sand, rocks, scorpions, and a sealed bunker. We head back east to Clearwater once again, and explore SpaceOrg.
Surprisingly safe, we manage to assassinate Elron Hubbard. We take up a conversation with Mechatravolta, who gives us a job of killing a hepcat for his head. Considering, I lower a rope off the roof; 18m down, and dodging all of the potentially hostile gunslinging NPCs sounds like a good idea.
It wasn't. I fall and break my leg. No one has a first aid kit, and I'm out of health. Not much to do at this point; die? Send Doc back? I was leading, the path is hard to remember, and I'll get chewed up by NPCs. What to do...
I pull out my NASH skateboard. I only need one foot on it to skate, after all! We proceed to run and skateboard across new clearwater, down through the crater, dodging gods-know-what, through the juicer camp and into any port. The friendly any port patrons heal me up and completely ignore Doc who's in much worse shape. After a re-equip and restock, Doc decides it's time to get Yeti-skin.
However I decided to huff some paint first. I got:
* Addicted to Supajunk
* Supajunk itself, apparently
* High on mushrooms.
* Just high.
* ON FIRE.
* MY EYE FALLS OUT.
* 400 Stress.
* -47 Senses, at this point.
* I pass out for about ten minutes.
* More huffin'.
* Cyanide poisoning, dead.
Now's a good time as any to head to Mountain Pass. We flawlessly navigate the mines, dodging diggers, bats, and slugs. We head out through the yetis and apeman; some take swings at us, but smoke and screech keep them stunned and shocked. Our journey takes us Northwest as we slyly dodge all sorts of proto-humans.
Finally we acquire Yeti-skin. No damage, really, basically a flawless, event free romp. We get to the osprey. Doc AFKs. By the time he returns, we're still in the mountain pass, 500m or so up. He thinks we must have landed, and promptly walks out the back.
He has to get going, and his stuff is sitting somewhere in the mountain pass. Turns out skateboards bypass the "Traveling..." you normally get for going between areas. I manage to go to Mountain Pass and back to Freedom City in perhaps two or three minutes at absolute most.
COMPRESSED LESSONS OF THE DAY
* Scientologists are asses.
* Ghosts are also asses.
* Goddamned gunplinkers.
* Elron Hubbard is a pushover.
* Mechatravolta is rather terrifying.
* Broken limbs suck.
* Never huff paint. Ever. Just, don't do it. Don't.
* Wait for the helicopter to reach the ground before exiting. This is important!
* Ride is an entirely under appreciated skill, and is remarkably easy to grind to 1.00
* Skateboarding by extension is extremely handy and pretty safe at [10] total.
* Goddamned yetis.
* Goddamned apemen, which are probably just yetis with different hair colors.
* Writing Smoke and Screech form a remarkably suitable defense against attack.
* A mildly skilled skateboarder is faster than any helicopter.
Author
Topic: HellMOO: Go to heaven for the climate, and hell for the company. (Read 477959 times)