Well, that was fun.
There I was, churning out license plates in prison, when I heard the loudspeaker system blare "VISITOR ENTERING THE LOUNGE". Frog paged me saying that he had gathered up what he could find of my stuff in a back alley, and that he had something to give to me in the visiting area.
Somewhat stressed from failed improvisations involving license plates, I wandered into the lounge and started bellowing 1337 at the windows in an attempt to communicate with him. After a bit of fiddling, Frog passed me a hackysack, a stack of pogs, and an electro flash whip.
Outside: Frog yells, "GODDAMMIT!"
At his behest, I tried shoving the thing back through the window. No go. Apparently, only visitors can smuggle things around... Prisoners obviously have nothing useful to give to the people who stop by.
So, Frog gave me a couple other gifts and then left the lounge, announcing that he would be back shortly.
He comes back later, hands me his shades through the window, then disappears again.
Kyrgyz flips the hackysack up with his toe and launches it into the air.
You realize this would be more fun with friends.
Frog arrives from the north.
The hackysack hits the floor. Plop.
Frog waves.
Prison buddies. Whee.
What followed was a rather... entertaining series of events. Frog tries to enter into the fight club, but they won't let him into the ring with his whip. He tries to throw the whip into the ring so he can pick it up once he's there, but his arms are too weak to make the distance.
Then he decides we need a bag of some sort, and so he starts scrounging skins while I whack the hackysack furiously in order to blow off some of my stress.
Much later, we find out that you can't actually improvise loot bags from human skin, so we start trying to figure out some other plan of action. Somehow, Frog has acquired a straw hat during his escapades climbing around outside.
A voice blares from the loudspeakers: "FRESH FISH! Bulldozar cloning in."
Suddenly, Bulldozar. I receive a thoughtful letter from Frog, wherein he writes "I AM SO DEAD". I walk down from the yard and find Bulldozar headbutting Frog senseless. I throw myself moronically into the fray, and The 'Doz gives me a good thump for my efforts. Together we manage to scare him off, but not for long.
I move north to do... something... can't quite remember what it was, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. A prisoner NPC attacks me, stops me from running away, and starts putting up a very disturbing fight. Frog comes charging in to the rescue, and throws himself between me and the prisoner's assault.
Then Bulldozar arrives again and gives Frog yet another crack on the noggin. Everything goes south, including me, and I soon find myself cowering in the lounge with 2 HP left. To the north, Frog dies.
I strip the jumpsuit off a dead inmate and fashion some impromptu bandages. Bulldozar is sitting at the bottom of the stairs, waiting, and I'm still just a breath away from being quite dead. The inmate's bandages prove insufficient, so I strip my own suit off and make bandages from that. Then I get some help from Frog (who has served his sentence and had been cloned on parole), and make a break for it.
A naked man runs screaming past two Panopticon inmates, dashes up the stairs, rushes for the exit and stops inches away from freedom to pay his fine (which claims to have already been paid) and drop a few sharp pointy objects that the forcefield disagreed with. Then, sweet, sweet air.
I join up with Frog later on for a Let-out-of-prison apartment party, where he gives me the awesome gift of my old stuff (well... Most of it anyways). I make a whip from the human skins we collected, and he hangs the head of omishobo7 on his wall. Great times were had as I root through his room in order to find his shades for him, the room being entirely too bright for someone of his... talents.
Then the time to go about our separate lives is forced upon us, and Frog offers to show me the express exit. I look around, see nothing but the door, and ask him what exit it is that he speaks of.
Frog lunges at Kyrgyz!
Frog grabs Kyrgyz and pins his arms behind his back.
Frog lets go of Kyrgyz.
Frog shoves Kyrgyz into the garbage chute and closes it behind him!
Whooaaaa!
Sadly, something goes terribly, terribly wrong... What would have been a hilarious joke played between friends turns ugly as the fragile thin-boned brainiac, having recently been savaged by a testosterone-pumped headthumper in prison and having used only a few small strips of clothing to patch up the damage, is splattered across the refuse of the dumpster bin below. -7 hitpoints and a broken arm were enough to send that poor free bird to his death.
But, life goes on, and this is particularly true in Hell where the same life gets to go on. A fresh new Kyrgyz rises from the gooey vats and into the blinding light of fluorescent tubing and the streetlights of Freedom City. Indeed, a new Kyrgyz so fresh, it hadn't been updated since before he left for prison. Bye bye .24 points in craft...
But I did get my stuff back, and now I've even got a great big supply of lockpicks that I can... I dunno, fiddle my way into NPC apartments? I'll find something to do with them. And I also now have the dubious honor of having my head placed on Frog's noggin rack. He was kind enough to retrieve it from my twitching corpse in the garbage disposal.
After that, I decided I needed a drink. So, after stripping the tight jeans, novelty t-shirt and 910g (WHAT?!) flip-flops from a highly excitable man wandering the streets (I left him his sombrero), I went into Any Port and had myself a right good time, farting, shivering, waving and shouting about Jesus along with the rest of the patrons. Heck, I even had one very kind individual give me something else from my corpse... Namely, the shiny doctor's mirror I got for completing the medic job. She even informed me where I got it from, since I had just opened up my inventory one day and wondered if my character had been to some uproarious drunken party the night before. Since that was a one-shot item, I was quite happy to have it back...
Upstairs in the bar, good times were had. We shouted, sang, and bought drinks for one another... Apparently, being a minor, I can't order a round of beer for everyone else in the bar. However, if someone else is buying, I'll still get a glass just like everyone else.
Not to be outdone, however, I ran down to the 9-Eleven, picked up a few blunts, and ran back to Any Port to start handing them around. I don't think anybody really needed them, but what the hell. It was fun. I passed out doobies to three people, but only one other person fired up and started toking with me. Pff, what slackers.
Unfortunately, I was called away before Care Dog went to bed and we could crack open the fridge. Oh well, maybe some other time, eh?
And that, my friends, was just another day in HellMOO. All's well that ends well. Oh, yeah, and I won several thousand bucks at the blackjack tables. Booyeah.
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Topic: HellMOO: Go to heaven for the climate, and hell for the company. (Read 477111 times)