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[Toaster]

HUR HUR PENIS JOKE

[Sir Pseudonymous]

I'm taking a break for now, maybe for a couple of weeks. I was already burning out when HBARN dissolved, and though ending up on WOMBAT's board renewed my interest, it was already waning when NDY and Erich looted my apartment. I'll be back, but right now I've got shit to deal with, and a number of books to read.

[beorn080]

Adventures are being had involving booze and airplanes. Much fun to be had. We need all crappy pilots to report to kamikaze duty.

[Toaster]

Anyone have any info on the corp HQ security bots?  The hack skill just got a bit more appealing.

[Apple Master]

They're shithard.

[devek]

You need to spend 250k for a security console, buy a wand, and have a crafter make you bots.

[Tellemurius]

god damnit now im addicted to this game. for fun times look for a girl name Helen. BE WARNED she's feisty and will cut your dick off and feed it to dogs if you screw her the wrong way.

[Kagus]

Alright...  Fun day today.  Didn't get around to doing a whole HECK of a lot of stuff, but it was more than nothing and I did have a good time.


First, I earned my FCPD auxiliary badge by bravely putting down two uncontrollable hounds from the blackest pits of hell that were slaughtering innocent townsfolk left and right!

Code: [Select]

The scruffy puppy drags its butt along the ground.
Kyrgyz twists up his towel.
Kyrgyz quickly whips his towel at the scruffy puppy's ass.
SPAT!
The scruffy puppy attacks you!
I was then summarily discharged from duty after cracking down on a deadly criminal...  Fuckin' red tape.

Code: [Select]

Kyrgyz twists up his towel.
Kyrgyz quickly whips his towel at 75Bill's ass.
SPAT!
A red light flashes on the FCPD cam as it swivels toward Kyrgyz.
75Bill exclaims, "Die!"
75Bill attacks you!
From your wristpad: ChiefRalphie pages, 'You're out of control, officer!'

Later, after the paper had been pushed and my suspension was being reconsidered, I bravely defended the city from an encroaching wave of the hideous CHUDS!  I called upon all of my training and used the ancient art of dodging somebody to death.

Code: [Select]

dodge
[ Stopped attack. ]
Kyrgyz dodges around unpredictably.
[ You didn't earn any XP for that. ]
The hairy chud shrieks, goes stiff, and falls over dead.
[ WOMBAT ]: Kyrgyz asks, "Wait....   WHAT?"
No, seriously, I have no idea what happened here.  I'd hit the CHUD once with a powerattack, bringing him down to 16% health.  The fight continued for a while, then I started dodging and he fell over dead.  No messages about bleeding, and he didn't seem to be losing health.


Later, we engaged in yet another horrifying mutilation by massaging Beorn.  It was a full-fledged beating party.

Then, suddenly, Kakuri island.  Many of us went, most returned.  I lingered behind because I got lost, and I eventually started following Beorn as he went around killing people.  I got jumped in the monastery and had to sit in a corner to bring myself back from the brink of death.  By the time I had recovered, Beorn had long since left.

I wandered around carefully for a bit, eventually making my way to the meditation rooms.  I figured "hey, since I'm here", and sat down in one of them.

Time passed.

And passed.

And passed some more.

...until finally it passed away and my character went completely batshit, talking to the walls about anallingus deduction shorthand and asking myself how the Kyrgyz Kyrgyz differed from Kyrgyz, and whether or not I agreed with myself.  My meditative respite was interrupted by the intrusion of Zombie Dick Cheney however, and after a bit of a squabble I decided that I'd had enough spiritual healing for one day.

I activated the Kakuri beacon and waited for my taxi to arrive.  Once it landed, I noticed someone was already in it.  Namely, a player that has had a fairly bumpy relationship with certain members of WOMBAT over the past...

However, he assured me that he meant no ill will, and that Alexis' plane was, in fact, his.  He offered me a lift back to Freedom City and I accepted.  Shortly thereafter we landed in Crater Rim and he ran for the hills.

Making my way back down the long winding path to FC proper, I wandered over that strange trash heap that allows for a very special mutation...  After a bit of back-and-forth inner discussion, along with a short counsel with the corp, I mutated and was introduced to the wonders of being a Billygoat.

I have yet to recover any interesting bits or pieces from this mutation, but I have to say that it has proven to be no small source of entertainment.  I have also proven myself to be quite fiscally irresponsible, spending $3000 on a Girl-in-a-Box for the sake of eating it/her.

Although I must say, she was quite scrumptious.  As were the two fortunes, the pimp cane, the package of blunt wraps and the cinderblock I munched.  Also the skull, the truncheon, and the severed head of an orphan, all devoured in one gulp.


Some day, I hope to eat my own head.  I wish to sample all the strange and wondrous delights the world has to offer, by shoving them down my gullet and swallowing hard.

Who knows what strange and magical things can be devoured for fun and profit?  Only time and rampant experimentation will tell.

[beorn080]

I've been training my pilot by looking at planes, and I just snagged swollen brain and twitchy nerves, so I'm now quite a decent pilot. So if anyone needs a flight, I'll be able to fly you around whenever I'm on pretty much.

In other news, Zimber managed to nick Charlatan with a pistol round. Didn't actually live through the experience, but he still tagged a decently high end player. Yay zimber

[Ivefan]

I am also able to provide air service.

And for fun; Staring at planes is not good for you, it makes inanimate objects tell you to murder and in delusion, beorn thought that a defensive turret looked weirdly at him and summarily decided that the tower were going to die. Beorn is now a scorched pile of meat lying in HI.

[beorn080]

I am
 
The Man Who Stares at Planes

Seriously, always destress before grinding, the results aren't fun.

Edit FROG GET ON WE NEED YE.

[Kagus]

Weeeeeeeeed...

[zchris13]

So.  What the duck am I supposed to be doing with this character creation nonsense.

[beorn080]

Contact one of us in game and read http://hellmoo.org/wiki/index.php/Simple_character_building_guide

[Kagus]

Ladies and Gentlemen...  I have just eaten a jawbreaker.


No, not one of those.  Not one of the little candies that Doctor Octa-whatever gives you for being such a nice patient when he cured your rabies, the ones people keep trying to scam fighters with on tradenet.

No my friends, I just ate one of the real jawbreakers.  The ones people pay thousands of dollars for.  Open the hatch and down the hole, my friends, safe within my gut.

Down there it met the poltergeist I had eaten earlier, having snared the fiend within a PK trap in the orphanage.  Eating this ghost had, in fact, given me a journal award titled "pac man".  100 xp and a clone update, plus 4 doses of cocaine were my reward for this act.  Not bad for munching on a spectral entity.


I ate a few other things as well, but was thwarted by a molotov cocktail that blew up before I could swallow.  That was my first death.

My second death was hacking the head from a body I found in the street and then finding out he was still an N-tag.  The hard way.

P.S.

Code: [Select]

Kyrgyz raises an arm of Kyrgyz above his head, unhinges his jaw, and lowers it into his mouth. He starts chewing in a slow circular motion.
Kyrgyz stops chewing and swallows, then lets out a loud belch.
You feel pleasantly full.