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[assimilateur]

Although I imagine the public dislikes needless scolding much more.

To scold them wasn't my intention, rather to tease them, but have it your way.

[Albedo]

Although I imagine the public dislikes needless scolding much more.

Not this one.  You go, assim. 

Kav - No one knows what the hell a "picturesmith" is (tho' it's not a hard guess, admittedly).  Assim's point, I believe, was that if you want to make up terms, be clear as well if you want communication to be successful.   

[Red Minjo]

Yeah, I've been reading the current Something Awful dwarf succession game "Headshoots" and one of the rulers gave all the dwarves custom professions with "-smith" endings.  The engravers were Picturesmiths, the nobles Mandatesmiths, and the children Funsmiths.  I thought it was good fun so I adopted it.  At least I didn't have a story about my hammerer, which I renamed the Pancakesmith, wouldn't have been as easy to figure out. :)

And why would I want to avoid sounding ridiculous or childish?  What a childish idea, that.

[Taco Dan]

Down there he finds a little dwarf girl, seemingly left behind in the chaos, sullenly brooding, calmly awaiting the chance to taste more blood.

"Witch! Lights off!"

*Urist McHauler startled the witch!*

[Shurikane]

Champion fends off over thirty skeletal animals of varied kinds, followed by two full squads of goblins.  Satisfied, he went for a snooze in his bed, and woke up the next morning to resume his patrol route.

He bumped into a goblin master thief.

He lost.

[Chalk]

I've been playing around with my military lately, and marksdwarves are what I need in this fort now. So I round up some useless, partying dwarves, put crossbows in their hands, and point them towards the archery range.

The next thing I know, two of them are resting hand injuries. Big red ones.

My dwarves: stupider than I thought.

[Buddybud]

 I just started playing recently and today i found out how to use a stone dump to your advantage. I happily assigned my dorfs to dump a nice magnetite vein next to my magma forge. The dorfs made themselves busy and i ignored them. Later i noticed the vein was empty and i went back to remove the dump and get the metal smith to work. Its then i noticed that the dump was empty and the that indeed that little spot that showed magma on the magma forge was indeed open space. I then realized my dwarfs assisted me in dumping all my magnetite into the magma...the dump was much more efficient then i expected...ugh....the whole vein...and i saved arghhhhh....lol.

[Starver]

Here's one.  I've got far too many animals, mainly because the females caught in my "please don't bother me, wildlife, I'm busy on a megaproject" traps seem to have 'caught' in transit to the communal cage, so I have sprogs (tame and untamed) of about 18 different species running around/caged in their own right.  So I thought I'd experiment with Pit zoning for the first time ever (not having enough ropes of the right colours to sort the ones I wanted for culling - another story).  So I'm thinking that a pit needs a way to get selected animals out, so I set up a pet-impassable door in it, and it works.  All the creatures (180+) inside it are "?"ing like mad as they are stimied by the door, but otherwise happy, once they're dropped in from the level above.  But then along comes the engraver (taking up the original offer I'd made to the fortresses engravers to make this room look nice, but him and his colleagues having decided to do some other tunnel-nicifying work first) and goes through the door, and the creatures all rush out.  And also manage to get through the next door (I'd had some thoughts about this eventuality, so set up an 'airlock' system... which obviously didn't work) and were suddenly trooping through the entire fort in a rush, all the way to the designated meeting area near the centre of my MegaProject digging area.  Quite a sight, as the faster creatures rushed ahead and the slower ones dawdled.  A bit like a chromotography line.

I know the wiki page on dwarf logic (which I must go have a look at, again) mentioned using the movement of dwarfs to 'do' the logic, but I reckon a stream of released animals is a much more reliable power-source for something like that.  Especially if their near-approach to the Meeting Zone destination triggers a route change which means they've got wander back (or along a special 'return path').  In fact, that would essentially be the 'tick' of a processor's clock cycle, if done right.

I've decided not to redesignate to the pit, until I know more about pits.  Actually getting all the creatures into it was far too disruptive to the fortress's job-list, when done en-mass (and one-by-one took too long).  And I've still got 30 or so POW enemies to let run through the "Maze Of DOOOOM!!!!!" and/or give to my troops for live-fire training.  Meanwhile the megaproject is taking a lot of micromanagement to  get excavated.

[TauQuebb]

Hmm, Had a Champion wrestler run out to attack a Titan all on his own.

He was picked up and thrown so hard he dropped all his weapons and flew a good ten tiles, killing an innocent raccoons on impact

That Titan must have really hated raccoons

[jokuvaan]

I had a baby who lost its mother in combat, then it went on trying to kill itself, it found this nice 1 deep channel it jumped down to, too bad it didnt even injure it and then it crawled back up and jumped again and kept doing that for like years in a row at my traders entrance

[HammerHand]

While hauling stone to form a nice, safe wall around my open magma vent, on of my woodcutters was attacked by a fire man.  Her entire right side was burned, leaving her with yellow injuries on her right leg and arm.  She managed to escape the fire man on her own power, but collapsed in a useless (but conscious) heap within 30 tiles of my fortress's main entrance.

... Then I saw the fire.

Due East of this unfortunate woodcutter, a fire imp had died.  In its death throes, it started a fire that swept in a great circle around it.  This fire raced towards the wounded Dwarf, and I thought, "Surely, she's a goner.  She'll be caught in the brush fire, catch fire herself, and die."

One of the miners, recently set to medic duty (because nobody else seemed to be doing it, despite being set for it), rushed out to save the woodcutter.  The miner wasn't the type to like helping others - in fact, she "would never go out of her way to help others."  But she raced against the flames to save a woodcutter she was hardly acquainted with.

Just before the flames consumed the woodcutter, the miner reached her.  Together the two ran through the smoke, and made it within the fire-proof stone before the fortress entrance.

It was a surprisingly heroic and well-timed move, and I was lucky to see it play out so.

EDIT:  I wish I'd thought to record it once I saw the flames.   

[Vlynndar]

Hmm, Had a Champion wrestler run out to attack a Titan all on his own.

He was picked up and thrown so hard he dropped all his weapons and flew a good ten tiles, killing an innocent raccoons on impact

That Titan must have really hated raccoons

No no no, you see it the wrong way. The wrestler hated raccoons. He just found the nearest object to throw at it. 'Nearest object' being a Titan.

Hey, it works

[CobaltKobold]

am I the only one who seems not to have problems with fire imps and the like?
Am I the only one who clears a pipe rather than just variously trying to seal it off?

Does losing one miner count as 'problems'? A Proficient miner with a -/+ steel pick tends to be good enough to clear a pipe. (A war dog per fire imp will also do the trick, though you tend to lose them about one per).

On surprising me, really just the moss agate artifact bed, or deciding to walk through that 1/7 magma and fall to the ground with horribly burn(ing) feet two steps later...

Also, the Baroness Consort for surviving the ten-spear trap when the hammerer didn't.

[Elliott_Thinas]

Hmm, Had a Champion wrestler run out to attack a Titan all on his own.

He was picked up and thrown so hard he dropped all his weapons and flew a good ten tiles, killing an innocent raccoons on impact

That Titan must have really hated raccoons

No no no, you see it the wrong way. The wrestler hated raccoons. He just found the nearest object to throw at it. 'Nearest object' being a Titan.

Hey, it works

My interpretation of the story was that the champion was the one who got hurled (as he dropped his equipment). Either way, we can all agree raccoons got DESTROYED!

[Bel-Shamharoth]

My cook made some good job recently. Worth more than most of my artifacts, yet not perfect...