After a string of a midnight surfing and constant reruns, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to try to do some reviewing/ranting on the local fourm, and since this is one of the few fourms I can get on that doesn't crash my modem, this is the place to be.
Most reviewers would usually take some new game, and give it a sound review on the pretty graphics and nice gameplay, but I have neither job nor driver's licence, so you're going to have to sit through whatever old thing I have around. I figured I would start with the newest thing, but I wouldn't play Animal Crossing: City Folk if there was a gun pointed at my manhood, so we move on to the next one: Dead Space.
Seems simple enough
Most gamers would have saw either the nice title or the disembodied arm and figured that the game is some sort of horror game, which probably made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside for solving that all by yourself. Experanced gamers would have seen the EA logo on the bottom right corner and jumped in real horror. OK, obligory Electronic Arts joke done. I mean, they do okay on their own. They made the Medel of Honor series, and...uhm
...
...
I'm sure I'll think of something later
The sign of mediocracy since 1982
The game revolve around the main character Isaac Clarke, engineer (not Space Marine, although you're still the most armored person in the game) , sent out to fix the
Ishimura, a big mining ship that seems to have a busted commucation unit, although it's rarely that simple. Shortly after landing (read: crash) the ship, you and your group run into the Necromorphs which are, say it with me, ZOMBIES IN SPAACCCCE.
It just wants a hug
The red shirts are killed off quickly, you are seperated from the people that can actually help, and now you have to going back and forth through the ship, wading through fugly monstrositys as you still have to fix the place before it crashs into the planet surface, despite the fact that there is no actual time limit. Most of the plot involve the now undead crew of the
Ishimura, and that most were a part of the "Church of Unitology", who worship aliens or some such (remind you of anything?). A sub-plot revolves around Isaac's girlfriend Nicole, who is also on the
Nostromo, her fate unknown. She is ment for you to feel sad for Isaac, but fail utterly because the game never actaully makes a point to humanize him.
The game itself handles very well, mostly because the game rips off the gameplay of Resident Evil 4 amost exactly (with a few improvments). It also copies RE4's "survivor horror but actually action shoot-m-up" style, which is disapointing to say the least. The weapon are cool, but most of them are piss poor. One can complete the entire game with the plasma cutter alone, and the Ripper is the only real good one (although only the machine gun is an actual gun, the others are
modified tools. The setting is scary, but predicable. I would be much more sacred if the
Palomino was in bright colors, well lighted and completely clean, as you would never expect something with an extra pair of limbs to attack you in that kind of setting, but instead we get the regular 'Gun metel gray, flickering bulbs, grime and blood everywhere" motif that seem standard in horror games.
Seen it a million time
After playing the game, one must wonder how much better Dead Space would have gone if given an extra oomph. I've play Army of Two recently as well, and it seems a pattern that EA makes the game good enough to sell, but not enough to put it into fame. But Dead Space has proven itself good enought o get its own sequal. As a rail-shooter. On the Wii. At this rate, Nintendo well become the Lifetime Channel of the gaming world.