Attention
I, Aqizzar, have been forced to abandon this moronic project by scheduling difficulties. major_sephiroth has gallantly taken up the effort with a new neighborhood. The thread continues here.Why the fuck am I doing this?A few weeks ago, I pitched the idea of doing some annotated playthroughs of
The Sims (2), with all the people based on forum members. I had intended and hoped that somebody else, not me, would do it.
Since no one stepped up, I've decided I can't let such an idiotic, boring idea die.
Why the fuck am I doing this?So here's how this trainwreck of an LP is gonna go down. Everybody gets to join in my neighborhood.
Everybody! Get'cher Sims while they're walleyed! Come one, come all!
Sort of.
Why the fuck am I doing this?I'm only going to pay any attention to one particular house (henceforth referred to as the Main House), with gangly, retarded
Simulations of myself and seven other knuckleheads. Everyone else will get packed into crackerboxes and given entry-level jobs, then you will exist only to converse with the inhabitants of the Main House. I will be exercising my judgment on who gets into the Main House, based on entirely subjective opinion of entertainment value. I might drop in on ancillary houses for the same reason.
For future reference, I have The Sims 2 with University and Nightlife expansions. I'm not getting anything else, or downloading any mods or packs. I'm also not cheating except for a couple necessary tweaks.
Why the fuck am I doing this?That being said, residency applications are now open! Please provide the following information-
Age - I will take any age other than Infant, with a couple restrictions (you'll see). So that everyone doesn't collapse of cardiac failure in a week, I'm turning aging off. So if you start as a Kid or Teenager, that's all you'll be.
Appearance - This includes gender (only the normal two), skin tone (humans only, no mods), face (broad descriptions please), and be ye fat or thin (muscles take work).
Clothing - You need Casual, Formal, Athletic, Swimwear, and Underwear. Athletic and Swimwear only have a couple options so I can just pick at random. Remember, no mods.
Personality - Okay, so Sims don't
really have personalities. What they have is Zodiac signs, in another impressively stupid design choice. These effect probability of relationships, and default attributes. For those who aren't familiar with the game, every Sim has five attribute scales-
Sloppy vs Neat, Shy vs Outgoing, Lazy vs Active, Serious vs Playful, Grouchy vs Nice
For some moronic reason, there's a limited number points to spread between them, so you get a mix. Instead of bothering with specific points, I'll just stick with the Zodiac defaults, because it's all meaningless anyway.
Aries - Outgoing, Serious, Grouchy
Shags: Gemini, Taurus / Kills: Cancer, Libra
Taurus - Lazy, Playful
Shags: Aries, Libra / Kills: Virgo, Cancer
Gemini - Outgoing, Active, Serious, Grouchy
Shags: Pisces, Virgo / Kills: Capricorn, Aries
Cancer - Shy, Serious
Shags: Taurus, Scorpio / Kills: Gemini, Aries
Leo - Outgoing, Grouchy
Shags: Sagittarius, Cancer / Kills: Capricorn, Gemini
Virgo - Neat, Shy, Serious
Shags: Aquarius, Sagittarius / Kills: Leo, Taurus
Libra - Sloppy, Outgoing, Serious, Nice
Shags: Virgo, Cancer / Kills: Pisces, Scorpio
Scorpio - Active, Serious, Grouchy
Shags: Pisces, Leo / Kills: Libra, Aquarius
Sagittarius - Sloppy, Shy, Active
Shags: Pisces, Capricorn / Kills: Libra, Scorpio
Capricorn - Neat, Lazy, Playful
Shags: Aquarius, Taurus / Kills: Leo, Gemini
Aquarius - AVERAGE
Shags: Capricorn, Sagittarius / Kills: Scorpio, Virgo
Pisces - Shy, Serious, Nice
Shags: Scorpio, Gemini / Kills: Leo, Aries
You also need an Aspiration, a bunch of idiotic, random life goals. Choices are-
Fortune, Knowledge, Family, Romance, Popularity
They're self explanatory. Kids start with the Grow Up aspiration, but no one will grow up.
Finally, I have Nightlife, which adds "romantic" Turn Ons (2) and Turn Offs (1). They're all appearance stuffs, like makeup, hair color, clothing, etc. So just give me some generals or whatever.
And yes, I need all of that. If you're too lazy to choose shit, I'm too lazy to choose for you.
Why the fuck am I doing this?Obviously, everyone has to live somewhere, and that means families and houses. These come in two flavors, the Main House, and Everyone Else. And some Ghosts.
Because my interest to continue playing is dependent on your ability to suggest hilarious activities and make witty commentary, I'll be doling out the seven Main House slots to the most forum-active people. No it ain't fair, and it ain't gonna be.
We'll need a general Name. Fire away. By default, everyone will just be friends with each other, but I'm plenty willing to let you all work out familial relationships. The situation does demand that most will be working age.
Like I said, I'm not cheating, so the eight of us will be packed into a 20000 simolean shithole. That limits our design and furniture options, and everybody will spend Day 1 searching the Want Ads until the newspaper catches fire.
First off, I'm not bothering with any family/house with less than three people, so you'll have to decide among yourselves who lives with and/or is related to whom, and what the house should look like. General options only, and I'm not cheating for extra monies.
I probably won't play any houses longer than it takes everybody to get a job and get situated. However, I might, by interest or request, drop in on particularly active or interesting groups (I'm looking at you Hentai Party Squad) for outings to the mall and such.
Yes, ghosts. I don't know how many ways a Sim can die, but I'm not waiting around or making you fuck with a TV enough to experiment. You can choose from Fire (burns shit), Drowning (leaves puddles), or Starvation (eats food).
I might take a couple ghosts at the Main House, but only if I think you'll be entertaining. And if your haunting shit gets in the way of my gameplay, I won't hesitate to kick your headstone to the curb.
Why the fuck am I doing this?By extension, I need to design the neighborhood. It will be named Bay 12 no matter what, but anything else goes. Island? Big City? Blasted Desert? Strip Malls? Trendy Stores? Total Crap Town?
Why the fuck am I doing this?One more important thing to remember. While I like the ethos of The Sims, and playing with the houses and furniture, I absolutely despise the gameplay itself. Likewise, everyone who participates will fuel my distaste of the game by forcing me to play it. Hopefully, these two things will balance out, as I will be able to mete out my growing loathing of everyone who signs up by forcing you into haphazard renditions of awkward social interaction.
Because the Sims also has no end state or concrete scale of achievement (especially with aging turned off), there's no guarantee of how often I'll update or how long I'll keep playing at all. My passion to overcome my ire and entertain you all is directly dependent on your ability to entertain me in the process.
Why the fuck am I doing this?So help me make this fun. POST!
Why the fuck am I doing this?