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Author Topic: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.  (Read 109696 times)

Myroc

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #270 on: June 07, 2009, 02:48:02 am »

Strike a menacing pose. (That always works.)

"I am Ozymandias! King of Kings! God of Caves! The most powerful wizard alive! I have titans among my ranks! You will bow down to me, or face my wrath!"

Then, when they're confused, make a run for it.
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We all have problems. Some people just have more awesome problems than others.
Getting angry is fun. Getting angry over petty things even better.

NUKE9.13

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #271 on: June 07, 2009, 04:12:04 am »

Alright, Ozy. We got this.
We're going to lead you to survival, one step at a time.
Right then.
First off, I want you to- temporarily- imagine an arrow coming towards you. Then I want you to imagine it just stopping, ok? Not hitting you, but some invisible barrier around you. I want you to really pour your force into this barrier. Nothing can penetrate it, ok? Nothing. I believe in you.
Second, dude, you just appeared in the middle of a great big army. No worries, we got this. Here's what you do: Shout HALT at the top of your voice.
If they react- Then march to the front of the column. Speak in an ancient language (make something up), and make holy symbols. The shout CARRY ON. Walk to the side of the road. Done. In this situation they will be to confused to act, and sufficient impressiveness will convince them you are a god or something. Remember they don't know you as you.
If not- Sweet, you are immaterial. Evaluate the strength of the army, blow raspberries at them.
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Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #272 on: June 07, 2009, 06:56:03 am »

Ozymandias, king of kings, imagines the arrow coming towards him. He pours all he can into a wall to stop the arrow.

The lead elf raises his bow, aims at Ozymandias and fires. The invisible barrier repe...


The arrow goes straight through the barrier and hits Ozymandias in the shoulder. Fuck it hurts. The others raise their bows.
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Pandarsenic

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #273 on: June 07, 2009, 07:00:09 am »

Inform them that what they just did was inconsiderate and ask them why they did it.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #274 on: June 07, 2009, 07:01:30 am »

"You are the enemy of the state."

They draw back their bows.
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Myroc

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #275 on: June 07, 2009, 07:01:51 am »

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We all have problems. Some people just have more awesome problems than others.
Getting angry is fun. Getting angry over petty things even better.

zchris13

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #276 on: June 07, 2009, 07:17:45 am »

Throw axe sidearm while beginning to
Run for your fucking life.
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Pandarsenic

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #277 on: June 07, 2009, 07:26:10 am »

Yeah, I like Myroc's suggestion
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #278 on: June 07, 2009, 07:40:56 am »

You go to run away but the enemy have circled around you.
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zchris13

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #279 on: June 07, 2009, 07:47:56 am »

I really suggest that we just surrender.
Or do an impersonation of Emperor_Jonathan's avatar, with fireballs and our staff. But we can't do fireballs yet.
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Pandarsenic

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #280 on: June 07, 2009, 07:49:35 am »

Ask why we're an enemy of the state.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #281 on: June 07, 2009, 07:50:54 am »

"You threaten the state. You threaten our people, our peace and our property."
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TheToeBighter98

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #282 on: June 07, 2009, 07:59:45 am »

Laugh in their face, and pull the arrow out and throw it at the elf that shot it! Then duck quickly as they all fire, and escape in the following confusion.
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Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #283 on: June 07, 2009, 08:01:20 am »

You laugh in their face and pull out the arrow. You then throw it at the elf. The elf deftly catches it out of the air and drops it to the ground.

"I wonder what you taste like."
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Cheeetar

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Re: Ozymandias, King Of Kings, God of Caves, Wizard.
« Reply #284 on: June 07, 2009, 08:06:46 am »

"I taste like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I'm as kickass as him, too."
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I've played some mafia.

Most of the time when someone is described as politically correct they are simply correct.
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