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[Sowelu]

So at a summer job while in college some years back, I was addicted to coffee and tea.  Free caffeine, provided by the office!  As much sugar as I wanted to add!  (They were kind of sludgy sometimes.)

I stopped when I lost a kidney.  Supposedly, that kidney was always nonfunctional and blocked from birth, but something about my coffee intake inflamed it such that I needed to get it removed.  Or maybe it was just a time bomb anyway.  Who knows.

My current job and previous job provide free soda.  Which is great!  Except...that the current job ran out of soda this week, and they don't stock up as much as they used to due to the economy.  Which means I'm back to coffee.  I forgot how much I LOVE coffee.  With as much sugar as I want.

How do I make myself stop?  I don't want to lose my other kidney D:

[inaluct]

I stopped when I lost a kidney.

I burst out laughing when I read this. I didn't think you were being serious.

[Nilocy]

I've never heard of a kindey dying from coffee intake by itself. Unless both your kidneys have the defect then you should have no trouble. The body runs perfectly fine with one. So I dunno, consult a doctor? Or a medic.

[Gunner-Chan]

You'll be fine, trust me.

Really.

Yeah.

[Sowelu]

Honestly I think I'm really quite fine.  The kidney problem really wasn't caused by the coffee, although it's true the coffee may be what necessitated removing it instead of just ignoring it.  Still, imagine if the first guy who ever ate a tomato suddenly had a kidney fail.  Bet he wouldn't go eating tomatoes again any time soon.

Me on the other hand.  Oh god delicious sweet sugar caffeine coffee.

Just wait until I find out it's actually decaf or something, and it's all placebo effect.

[LegoLord]

Hm . . . maybe you should call Dr. House.

[Gunner-Chan]

Just wait until I find out it's actually decaf or something, and it's all placebo effect.

Impossible, you can tell the difference. Take it from a fellow addict, you can't placebo coffee.

[Sowelu]

Just wait until I find out it's actually decaf or something, and it's all placebo effect.

Impossible, you can tell the difference. Take it from a fellow addict, you can't placebo coffee.

I only drank coffee for about three months, and that was 2-3 years ago.  I'm just starting back up today.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't tell...

...nah, I recognize that warm fuzzy caffeine feeling, you're right.  It seems a lot stronger than the soda I normally drink.  Mmmmmm...warm fuzzy caffeine.

Considering that the body can even placebo morphine though...

[Sowelu]

Oh god I put water in the coffee machine but nothing is coming out I'm not good with coffee machines how do I

I can't even start to comprehend the espresso machine.

......TEA!

Mmmm peach iced tea.  So easy.  Sugar + teabag + water + sugar + five minutes.

[DennyTom]

Placebo effect is stronger than you would believe. You can get REALLY drunk when drinking non-alcoholic beer, etc.

I think you could not tell the difference since coffeine does not affect the taste that much.

Good luck with your health Sowelu!

[LegoLord]

Placebo effect is stronger than you would believe. You can get REALLY drunk when drinking non-alcoholic beer, etc.

I once got horribly drunk from root beer.  Although I knew it was root beer, and I could think clearly.  And I never actually fell or got sick.  Fooled everyone else, though.

[Sowelu]

Oh man.  I'm getting such a huge caffeine buzz.  Either this stuff is stronger than I remember, or my body derives caffeine more effectively from coffee/tea than from soda, or...

*looks at paper cup he's drinking from...which seems kind of small*

*compares size of paper cup to empty can of soda...oh wait, they're equal size*

*realizes this is his sixth cup in three hours*

Uh oh.


(EDIT) *does some math* Oh hey, I've been putting about two tablespoons of sugar per 8 oz coffee/tea.  Turns out that's 31.25 grams of sugar, or pretty much the same amount in your average soda (coca-cola = 39 grams).  And I normally drink diet (not caffeine-free) Coke.

My senses are feeling hyper-attuned right now, and I'm tremendously productive, but my spelling is going all wobbly.  This is good stuff.

[Creamcorn]

Why do people like coffee? To me it smells like wet soil wrapped in a burning piece of newsprint and tastes exactly what it smells like.

[LegoLord]

Why do people like coffee? To me it smells like wet soil wrapped in a burning piece of newsprint and tastes exactly what it smells like.

Because it's got loads of sugar and cream mixed in.  Tea, on the other hand, only needs a little bit of sugar, honey, and cream to taste good.

[Sowelu]

Why do people like coffee? To me it smells like wet soil wrapped in a burning piece of newsprint and tastes exactly what it smells like.

YOU ARE NOT USING ENOUGH SUGAR and probably not enough cream

If you want to get started, get some chocolate covered coffee/espresso beans.  Eat the chocolate and spit out the beans, they're icky.  But the coffee flavor in the chocolate is delicious.  Also try some things like Starbuck's Java Chip Frappucino, which is another nice coffee-chocolate combination.  After that, with a little desperation, you can just take coffee and add sugar until it just BARELY dissolves.  Once you realize that sugar and coffee are way cheaper than chocolate or soda, you'll get hooked...

EDIT:  On the other hand, I'm currently having flashbacks to Starsky & Hutch and wondering if that was really sugar.  D: