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Author Topic: The noble safe containment project.  (Read 1793 times)

Warmduscher

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The noble safe containment project.
« on: May 23, 2009, 01:05:08 pm »

For my current fortress I set myself the goal of building a completely seperate fortress for my nobles; deep under the rabble fortress lie massive gloriously engraved chambers, a gem-encrusted platin statue garden of most impressive quality, a zoo with noble beasts as jaguars, leopards, camels and mules, five tastefully aranged golden wells for their water supply and a massive barracks complex with no less then 20 champions as their personal guard. Not that any goblins will ever reach it woithout climbing over the corpses of the 200 rabble dwarves. And the best thing is that its completely sealed off. Only a small chute below a floor hatch lets the rabble dump masterfully prepared food down into the real fortress with no contact between the noble dwarves and the common rabble whatsoever.

Of course I still do the mandates to the best of my ability, but when they demand something unreasonable the Hammerer can't do anything about it. As a noble he of course has no contact with mere peasantry. Everyone is happy, most nobles even ecstatic. I do wonder though if the undisciplined fortress guard of three dozen spear-armed and often sparring-damaged (as mere peasants of course don't deserve armor beyond shiny silk uniforms) dwarves will be enough to repel goblin attacks after the complete real millitary assumed duty as noble bodyguards? Will the militia of 5 miners and 7 woodcutters that can be emergency-drafted be able to rush in to help when no guard stands at the entrance? Will I at one time fail the micromanagement nessecary to dump food down the chute regulary? Will the rabble fortress get destroyed in horrible death by tantrum spiral or goblins sometimes (the nobles shouldn't be affected by a tantrum spiral as they got hardly any friends in the common populations and no goblin will get into the sealed portion)? And will the nobles have enough food to last until new rabble arrives? Only time will tell,  but one is for sure. No noble will die a violent death in there! Hooray for aristocracy!
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Lord_Shadow

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2009, 02:41:44 pm »

sorry to insult you (if this does) but after reading that post i had to see if you were an escaped lunatic.

All and all it sounds like a good idea could you post the link for it on dfma?
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Urist Mccarpenter has gone stark raving mad!
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Foa

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2009, 02:47:59 pm »

That is a brilliant idea, keep them ( and the hammere ) away and happy from your dwarves, as to keep them alive.

No deaths by hammerings!
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zchris13

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2009, 02:52:06 pm »

How do you plan on separating the two?
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Foa

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2009, 03:03:47 pm »

How do you plan on separating the two?
Levers, and pressure plates.
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Warmduscher

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2009, 03:18:27 pm »

How do you plan on separating the two?
Levers, and pressure plates.

Nah, way easier. I just locked the nobles in their rooms when they went in to sleep or eat. The rooms had doors to the real fortress' food stockpile so with some locking of doors I could ensure that they can get into the food and drink stockpile but not out to the stairs up. After every noble was in his room I just activated my military and sent them down there as well and finally locked the door behind them in that moment where nobody but nobles, a few of their kids and a few dogs were in there. Now there was nobody else but nobles in there because there was nothing interesting. The well wasn't active and the statues stood but not as statue garden yet; same with the zoo. The food stockpiles were behind locked doors as well, so nothing to transport there too.

Now I got to admit that I lied.. err exagerrated a lot.. a bit about the scope of it. The statues are mostly common stone, there is only one well and the Zoo..... well, I forgot to actually put the animals in there and there was only a single Leopard... who promptly died of old age. Also I later dumped a hauler in there by accident, so its no longer 'absolutely' exclusive. Not that he can do any hauling anymore because he's invited to a meeting he can never reach... and I got a very slow dogsplosion problem I didn't consider...
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zchris13

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2009, 03:27:11 pm »

At least you can fix a dogsplosion.
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Warmduscher

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2009, 03:33:31 pm »

At least you can fix a dogsplosion.

How so? The dogsplosion happens in the sealed fortress and there isn't a butcher in there. The only one I could make a butcher is in permanent 'attend meeting' (I renamed his profession to Butler). And regardless what happens, the noble and the peasants most not mix!
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zchris13

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2009, 03:40:20 pm »

OH.  You DO have a cage down there. You said so earlier.  Put them all in that cage.  Nobles haul dogs.  I think.  Where is your mayor?  How about the DM?  They locked up?
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Warmduscher

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2009, 03:48:16 pm »

Thats one for the facepalm thread for me. The other nobles won't haul the dogs, but the dungeon master does of course; that one problem solved. The Mayor isn't down there because he'll stop being a noble after a while  :P
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zchris13

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2009, 03:50:17 pm »

Why would you do that to the DM?!?!?

WHY?

HE PONDERS FELL BEASTS AND TREASURE!!!!!!!!
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Warmduscher

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2009, 04:04:45 pm »

But the Dungeon Master will ponder now in safety!! And this is the most important thing. The nobles have to stay safe!

Especially as the rabble fortress just goes down the drain in a tantrum spiral after the useless fortress guard wa nowhere near the entrance at a siege and my milicia just... died. The siege faltered eventually but the two dozen or so deaths are enough, the rabble purges itself for the first time!
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Itnetlolor

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2009, 04:29:47 pm »

You know what would be nice? If you can segment/isolate noble quarters and suspend them. That way, if they act too 'nobly', then you can always drop/crush them with their own room.

That, or have a ceiling tile loosely suspended over the bed so the room can be reusable, but the noble, not so much. Just disguise it as a chandelier. (Of course, the main fortress will house the execution switches; they'll just call them light switches to fool the nobles. ;D)


Simple: (Single tile suspended by support 2z-Min)
█████████     █████████
    I             I    
    Θ          Ω▲O=O▲Ω 
                  Θ    
Elaborate: (Walls and floor tiles constructed with optional decor (statues) suspended similarly. 3z-Min)


Sorry, these topics always make me think up stuff like this.

EDIT:
You can always also include an atom smasher as the backboard to the bed, or embedded in the wall.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2009, 05:08:56 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Leafsnail

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2009, 05:01:21 pm »

I know nobles are annoying, but caging them up won't solve anything (except in the case of the hammerer, of course).  Your clerk/ treasure keeper/ hoardmaster has a useful job to do, so should be let alone.  Your Dungeon Master has quite a nice set of skills that can come in handy (the only problem is you can't turn off his labours.  However, you can just forbid him from working in whatever workshop you don't want him in) as well as an actual function (pondering fell beasts etc.).  You definately shouldn't keep your trader locked up either, or your village liason meeter.
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Warmduscher

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Re: The noble safe containment project.
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2009, 05:27:40 pm »

Bah, that isn't about solving anything. Don't you see that the nobles are the massive support pillar of dwarfdom? And everytime you just let your nobles live among the common rabble you just linked a doomsday lever to that support. You may know not to pull it, but what about the next in line in a succession game? Huh? He will pull that lever and you know it and all of dwarfdom will collapse. The only reasonable measure is to get them somewhere safe, far far away from goblins, elves, tantrums and HFS. Feed them, clothe them, do their mandates, but by Armok never let them have contact with the peasants, before you know it the next tantrum will take them too! And before you ask, only true nobles count. The mayor and his cronies are just common peasants with a bout of megalomania. They don't wear the holy purple in the nobles screen and aren't deserving of an own secure fortress. They'll die like every common rabble when the gobbos come and the Fortress Guard fails horribly like expected.




Warmduscher runs around babbling.
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