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Author Topic: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.  (Read 1137 times)

Opirian

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Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« on: May 22, 2009, 12:20:53 am »
Elves tend to be mad at me for using all porpoise flour... I can't help it the damn dolphins are so tasty.

What other not yet possible in fortress things do you think elves would get mad at?
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Quote from: ArkDelgato on May 05, 2009, 06:51:08 pm
Don't go drowning your boss for telling you to work.

damn nobles management.
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Redhades

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2009, 12:54:12 am »
Send them hate mail, written on paper of course.
Or send them all you paper bills.
Or send them jars full of termites.
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Argonnek

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2009, 01:59:31 am »
Burning down their forest retreats (trees included)
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Qloos

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2009, 02:02:52 am »
Give them a soapy massage.
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smjjames

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2009, 07:03:56 am »
Who wouldn't like a soapy massage?

Selling them a battle axe, which has tasted treesap and still has fresh sap on it.

Seriously though, a battle axe is the last thing I would sell them. I usually lump any goblin clothes onto them, if they have anything good to sell.
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Chucker

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2009, 07:09:28 am »
I'd send them a naked dwarf smeared in ash, dragging a wooden sled with the last tree in my province on it, carved into the shape of a dildo which menaced with spikes of larch. On fire.
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Sphalerite

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2009, 08:24:03 am »
Distill mercury.  Dump it in the river, upstream of an elven forest town.
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Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius --- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

Albedo

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2009, 08:35:26 am »
Piss in their granola.
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Tenebrais

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2009, 09:12:38 am »
Paper.
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Ultimuh

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2009, 09:14:33 am »
Send them a catsplosion in a wooden bin full of misc items of wood, soap and elf bones.
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Skorpion

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2009, 09:34:03 am »
Dumping their diplomat in a magma pipe.
No elf leaving alive, not even the goblin elves.
Selling their decorated skulls to the humans.
Eating their pack animals.


Wait, NOT possible things?
Maybe they should get pissed at you for emptying the entire map of animals.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

smjjames

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2009, 10:28:48 am »
goblin elves?

Killing their king and forcing the population to eat his remains. Although the killing the king/ruler alone would piss them off.
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dornbeast

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2009, 04:15:25 pm »
Arranging for their diplomat to be put in a cage trap, then selling him to the elves for five prickle berries.
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Quote from: Dornbeast
Urist Austin, Axedwarf.  A dwarf barely alive.  Gentledwarves, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic dwarf. Urist Austin will be that dwarf. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Skorpion

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2009, 08:05:40 pm »
Quote from: smjjames on May 22, 2009, 10:28:48 am
goblin elves?

Elves raised by goblins. Goblin elves!
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

Limul Thak

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Re: Different Things for Elves to be Pissed at.
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2009, 10:04:17 pm »
How about inviting the elves over for a dinner? Seeing as everything we eat and drink was once living, the elves can't possibly be cool with that!

...

How DO elves eat? ???
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Quote from: ArkDelgato on June 12, 2009, 10:32:13 pm
This game is so strange.
The horses have TEEN ANGST.
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