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Author Topic: You know your fortress is a disaster area....  (Read 5094 times)

Albedo

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2009, 07:42:14 am »

...when your only option is to either continue to starve, or send an untrained recruit out to wrestle the fire imp. Alone.
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smjjames

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2009, 08:05:45 am »

Lol, good response to what I posted. :)

In fact, I tried to send my ranger out at it to shoot it down. However the damn wimp didn't even fire a shot and ran back after one hit. I don't have a good grasp on the concept of making a military in DF. I mean I know what military is, I just don't have a good grasp on doing it.
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zestorum

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2009, 08:10:31 am »

When you embark in an area like...

------------------
+********+
+********+
+********+

+= wall
*= ground
-= carp invested river

There is no way to cross the river via mining and running through it is just suicide.

This has happened to me...  :-[
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Albedo

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2009, 08:34:30 am »

I don't have a good grasp on the concept of making a military in DF...

There is an article in the wiki that addresses almost every mistake unexpected situation in this thread.  Military included.  Start there, follow the links.
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Tenebrais

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2009, 09:11:44 am »

When you have spent so much time constructing your colossal stone mushroom fortress rather than training any military at all that the first goblin ambush demolishes you.
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nirodragon

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2009, 11:52:42 am »

when the orcs show up in the first summer with two squads of snipers.

Horrible, horrible mess they made of the merchants, and now the humans siege me too.  Also, I'm trapped inside a glass hut that should have been nothing but the barracks.  I must keep my dwarves alive and functional in a bedroom for the next few years, slowly expanding between sieges (generally gives me about 5 minutes to get work done before the next hour-long camp-fest).
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Urist McMiner cancels Mine: Taking a dump
Urist McMiner was disgusted by a miasma lately

I can't believe I just went there...

Doppel

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2009, 12:20:22 pm »

When fish can RUN on land (not just walk).
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Doppel has been ecstatic lately. He took joy in playing DF lately. He slept on a rough cave keyboard recently.
He is a member of the Dwarf Fortress Forums.
Doppel likes the color Dark Blue, cats for their aloofness and girls for their silky soft brea beards.
He appreciates art and natural beauty.

Itnetlolor

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #22 on: May 22, 2009, 12:58:01 pm »

...When the first thing that happens is an elven ambush, on your starting 7 dwarves.





...And you lose.


That is NOT fun.

-------

Another one:

...When your starting embark is inside a GCS web.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2009, 01:16:28 pm by Itnetlolor »
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dornbeast

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #23 on: May 22, 2009, 01:56:39 pm »

...when carving into the magma pipe seems like a good idea.

...when you can't make any booze because you have too much food.
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Quote from: Dornbeast
Urist Austin, Axedwarf.  A dwarf barely alive.  Gentledwarves, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic dwarf. Urist Austin will be that dwarf. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Sutremaine

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #24 on: May 22, 2009, 05:33:37 pm »

When your dwarves tell you "An ambush! Drive them back!"
...And it's the fortress' first announcement.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

gtmattz

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #25 on: May 22, 2009, 06:30:47 pm »

I decided to play some DF on break at work today and embarked on a map with a magma vent.  I embarked right beside the vent and within about 30 seconds the fire man made his appearance and proceeded to set the heavy forest afire which then killed all 7 of my dwarves.
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Quote from: Hyndis
Just try it! Its not like you die IRL if Urist McMiner falls into magma.

FellMoodFox

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #26 on: May 22, 2009, 08:27:02 pm »

When while creating a waterfall over your entrance, you manage to break free a piece of stone which punches through the drainage cistern being used for the waterfall, the hall outside a bedroom area [which gets inundated], a few hallways, a workshop area [which gets inundated], a forging area, and the magma reservoir underneath it... and the graveyard built beneath the forges [seemed like a reasonable spot to put my dead, underneath my center of industry].
That was much "fun".  Oh, and my anvil went into the magma from that falling piece.

Other than that little bit of hilarity [stupid grates],  I enjoyed digging out a massive area with my starting 7 dwarves [setting up everything i would want for the immigrants - bedrooms, forges, farms, workshops, dining hall, etc] and got a 20-orc siege.  I had one -bismuth bronze short sword- and +bismuth bronze battle axe+, a -bismuth bronze plate mail-, and a few bismuth bronze bolts to my name, for weaponry.
Three dwarves survived.  Two of them were maimed [one with a missing arm].  The third one tantrumed while fetching water and threw the bucket ... elsewhere.  No idea where.
Fun.
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The denser the dwarf, the more likely he'll survive his stupidity.

Skorpion

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #27 on: May 22, 2009, 08:30:50 pm »

When you order another 20 coffins made, just in case.

Your unit list is spammed up with dead dwarves.
A fair few of them blinking red and yellow.

When your original 7 are more like an original 3.

When you daren't press half the levers around because you know they might flood your fortress.

When you pray you don't get kobolds in the fort because they'll open the door holding back the pressurised water/magma.

When the map is littered with alternate entrances and trade depot-sized pits because you screwed up with water.
And when large swathes of the map are muddy.

When your FPS suddenly drops due to an expanding flood of water, and you complain with 'not again'.

When you turn out to need a large flood of 1/7 water to put dwarves out in.

Half the fort is full of miasma.

You seriously consider abandoning because your FPS sucks.

When you have masonry everywhere to make up for your screwups.

Murky pools steam because they're filled full of magma.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

Leafsnail

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #28 on: May 23, 2009, 05:38:24 am »

When you embark in an area like...

------------------
+********+
+********+
+********+

+= wall
*= ground
-= carp invested river

There is no way to cross the river via mining and running through it is just suicide.

This has happened to me...  :-[
How about mining underneath it?
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HM4A1

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #29 on: May 23, 2009, 06:07:28 am »

...When the first thing that happens is an elven ambush, on your starting 7 dwarves.





...And you lose.


That is NOT fun.
Actually its the exact definition of 'fun'...
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