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Author Topic: You know your fortress is a disaster area....  (Read 5083 times)

zchris13

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #45 on: May 24, 2009, 03:04:10 pm »

Quote
when you see hippos
Carp.
Hippos are better, and more violent.  They are just like elephants were.  In RL, too.
Elephants are smart, alot smarter than we credit them with.
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Untelligent

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #46 on: May 24, 2009, 03:10:48 pm »

Quote
when you see hippos

Carp.

All carp can do is scare thirsty dwarves into the river and drown them.

A herd of hippos can jump out of the river and devour half your dwarves if they feel like it.

EDIT: zchris beat me too it. Also RL hippos kill more people each year than most of the other species on that continent (not put together, but still, considering that Africa has lions and elephants and crocodiles and hyenas and rhinos and rabid giraffes, that's still saying a lot).
« Last Edit: May 24, 2009, 03:12:52 pm by Untelligent »
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Techhead

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #47 on: May 24, 2009, 03:26:03 pm »

Quote
when you see hippos
Carp.
Hippos are better, and more violent.  They are just like elephants were.  In RL, too.
Elephants are smart, alot smarter than we credit them with.
Orson Scott Card wrote a story about them causing a plague and inheriting the earth. The plague had a 99% chance of death in Humans, a .999% chance of sterility, and a .001% chance that all of your offspring are a bizzare human-elephant crossbreed. Getting two people who both aren't sterile to get together is a bit of a pain, and only two known crossbreeds are known to the narrator, one of which is the narrator's son.

EDIT: In case you were wondering, the story is called "The Elephants of Poznan" and is available in Card's anthology "The Keeper of Dreams".
« Last Edit: May 24, 2009, 03:36:36 pm by Techhead »
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Engineering Dwarves' unfortunate demises since '08
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It's like you're all trying to outdo each other in sheer useless pedantry.

Efun

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #48 on: May 24, 2009, 06:34:37 pm »

When you get more parties in a single year than you do plump helmet.... damn kids
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I fixed that up for you.

Lord_Shadow

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #49 on: May 24, 2009, 09:18:11 pm »

You are in a 3x3 embark area. And you playing at 10 fps thanks to the chasm and cave on the map, and all the creatures that inhabit them.
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Mr Tk

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #50 on: May 25, 2009, 12:12:15 am »

... when after 3 seconds from embarking you lose your fort because the starting 7 are wiped out by magma from a volcano.
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Shurikane

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #51 on: May 25, 2009, 11:38:24 am »

When...





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Liwjatan

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #52 on: May 25, 2009, 11:54:34 am »

..when people forget to edit their pictures to focus on the interesting bits instead of leaving them at a seize that is way too large to be displayed properly on any resolution below 1200x1048. {arrrgh!}

Alternative answer; when you loose all your barrels to a boosesplosion on a map that has no magma nor trees and the river/ponts are permanently frozen - bonuspoints if you're regulary sieged from spring till automn
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Byakugan01

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #53 on: May 25, 2009, 12:31:00 pm »

How about when you see 15 pages of carp, hippos, milkfish, and alligators-and none of those have hit their pop limits? Oh, and there's a first level aquifer, meaning that at least for a year you can't order your dwarves inside.
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

Heliman

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #54 on: May 25, 2009, 05:22:29 pm »

Your mason has to make his own coffin
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Hyndis

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #55 on: May 25, 2009, 08:54:30 pm »

Zombie carp.


 :(
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Argonnek

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #56 on: May 25, 2009, 09:28:32 pm »

... when you embark and realize that you're the only non goblin civ in the world.

Emperor Iones

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #57 on: May 25, 2009, 10:19:55 pm »

When you realize that the major river has just melted and drowned four diplomats and half your military
And then the orcs come
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Neoskel

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #58 on: May 26, 2009, 12:11:25 am »

When that megabeast you've modded to survive worldgen shows up and you have no cage traps.

When there's a monarch butterfly remains jamming open the main gate and you've already opened the magma world-flooding device.
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Time Kitten

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Re: You know your fortress is a disaster area....
« Reply #59 on: May 26, 2009, 01:21:41 am »

The tuna... oh, god, the tuna!

*rocks back and forth, shivering in straightjacket*
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