Eloraam also said most of the hooks and such she's added have been "widely useful" for lack of a better term. It was somewhere in the comments on her blog. She seems to be attempting to stay out of the drama though.
Plus, the Forge forum page explicitly says you can add more hooks to be incorporated into the base code if you want to.
This is an open-source project. If you need additional hooks and modification, feel free to talk to us and send a patch along. We're welcoming committers as well.
Even if they were only useful to her, other people can still submit changes if they want. You've only got issues if change requests are being turned down for no reason.
I think everybody would be happy if Forge had "addons" for hooks and such. Don't want this or that? Fine, don't use it.
You are allowed to modify Forge and distribute the modified version with your code, so long as you release the source for your modified version as well. You'd still get conflicts if everyone did that, of course, but it's not like it's some horrible system where one person and one person alone gets control over where the api goes. Heck, if someone really wanted they could probably start up a splinter version that they controlled. (No one should though, because that would be incredibly silly)