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Author Topic: Reasons NOT to kill elves  (Read 2666 times)

Byakugan01

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Reasons NOT to kill elves
« on: May 15, 2009, 08:25:07 pm »

-useful animals if you give them enough profit
-More elves later on=even MORE elf bone when you finally do decide to give them a bath.
-On desert maps-wood, wood, wood.
-Useful distraction for the gobbos/orcs
-Watching them take over half the season to pack up all the stone crafts you dumped on them-without the bins :D
-let them go berserk, cage one then give it to a noble who likes elves. Pull the lever. Profit. Recage elf, and repeat. Make sure to spread word that said noble died from an elf
-Let them find the GCS for you.
trap a caravan, then dump it into the middle of a siege as your last dwarves run indoors.

Anyone got any other reasons not to kill them (at least, not as soon as they enter your depot)?
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

Sphalerite

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2009, 08:55:21 pm »

Sunberry seeds, so you can make your own sunshine, so you don't need to buy it from elves.
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Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius --- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

Albedo

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2009, 09:32:06 pm »

They bring you pet grizzly bears.
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kalida99

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2009, 09:34:21 pm »

They bring surprisingly deadly pets for a cheap price (for me at least), i can buy a couple giant Scorpions for just a couple masterworks crafts.
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Let's see how those degenerate sophisticates handle a healthy dose of pure unreasoning violence.
— Commander Fleyitch

Michaelsoftman

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2009, 09:38:08 pm »

I didn't kill my last Elven caravan because they brought me like 7 tame animals, and a few squirrels.
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Elliott_Thinas

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2009, 09:50:48 pm »

If you spare some elves in your fortress hopefully it means there will be more elves to blind and lash in adventure mode. I've always felt magma was just too good for those dirty elves...
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I got me a breeding pair of Han Solos.

Jim Groovester

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2009, 09:51:40 pm »

You can get wood from them.

*snicker*
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I understood nothing, contributed nothing, but still got to win, so good game everybody else.

Albedo

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2009, 10:01:47 pm »

 :o

<...moves away from JG, slowly...>
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Vilien

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2009, 10:15:03 pm »

All the benefits possible from not killing elves can be attained by killing elves. There is simply no reason not to.
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kalida99

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2009, 10:23:32 pm »

ok, reason not to kill an elf, so you can capture them and have them kill your nobles...
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Let's see how those degenerate sophisticates handle a healthy dose of pure unreasoning violence.
— Commander Fleyitch

LegoLord

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2009, 10:36:02 pm »

Everything you can get from trading with elves can be obtained by attacking their caravans.  There really is no reason to be nice to them.
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

PotatoMuncher

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2009, 10:44:40 pm »

THIS THREAD IS A JOKE!!! There is no reason to not kill an elf =)
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Ladies and Gentlemen; Wagons can run shit over.

Byakugan01

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2009, 10:46:00 pm »

Is caravan size dependent on the profit the last group of traders made?

edit: They can't serve as a stone dump if they're dead. Of course, everything i trade them is made out of rock salt...so when they pass through a rainstorm....
« Last Edit: May 15, 2009, 10:49:44 pm by Byakugan01 »
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

Itnetlolor

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2009, 11:04:02 pm »

So you can purchase their animals, make them feel like good friends with the dwarves (finally, or so they think), and then send them off into the lair of their old pets lashing them apart.

THEN MAGMA!!!

And to top it off, convert them into obsidian and make statues of them.

EDIT: as dwarves.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2009, 11:06:57 pm by Itnetlolor »
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LegoLord

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Re: Reasons NOT to kill elves
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2009, 11:07:46 pm »

No way dude.  That obsidian would be tainted.  Magma's not enough.
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember
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