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Author Topic: And you thought drawbridges were strong...  (Read 3161 times)

doctorspoof

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And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« on: May 13, 2009, 10:50:35 am »

Everyone knows about the overpowered, Titan pwning weapon that is the drawbridge. Got a problem with a dragon? Smash it with a drawbridge. A demon? Smash it with a drawbridge. A noble? ..You get the idea.
Anyway, i've found something that doesn't take too kindly to being atom-smashed.



A Wagon.
These mythical beasts are often tamed by merchants as beasts of burden, but they are super-strong megabeasts really.
My defence consisted of a 3 way funnel, with the middle route wide enough for wagons that would be closed off during a siege or whatever. The other two passages would act as tunnels for the invaders to run through to get trapped/ballista'd/crossbow'd to death.
Picture the scene...


Around the silent upper levels of a fortress, a shout is heard
An Ambush! Curse them!
The alarm is raised. The defensive drawbridges are raised, preventing enemy access to our ballistas. As defensive preparations are being made, another call is made:
The human caravan has arrived...


...Oh dear. I quickly sent out my crack squad of champions to go and fend off the invaders (i thought there would be more than just one group). They do so, and quickly destroy the enemy before they can ruin inter-species relations. As they're heading back to the fortress for a nice glass of Dwarven Wine, they remember that the drawbridges must come down, and don't want to be underneath them when they do. They wait, a few metres from the entrance.
The caravan rolls past, nodding and waving to the friendly dwarven faces as they do so. They stop where the entrance should be. Which is also where the drawbrdige will come down. Very shortly, since the lever has already been pulled. The champions cover their eyes as the drawbridge falls...



...And open them to find a wagon, rolling through the gateway. The bridge is nowhere to be seen.


I'm not joking, a wagon just took on a drawbridge and won.
This, by all accounts, makes wagons the strongest and most fearful megabeast around.
Fear them, for one moment they will be happily carrying goods, but the next...
Drawbridges beware.


(Interesting yet unrelated note, this fortress has been attacked by four dragons, and all have been killed by the same wrestler. One was thrown in the river. Another had it's head pulled off)
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Duke 2.0

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2009, 11:00:08 am »

 Note that demons do the same things to drawbridge-

 Oh Armok...
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Smew

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2009, 11:15:57 am »

I would love to find out what tag toggles this behavior, because I once made a race of goblins that were drawbridge resistant...
Is it the SIZE tag?

doctorspoof

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2009, 11:21:55 am »

Hah, imagine opening up a glwoing pit to find 10-20 wagons rolling out, resisting drawbridges as they roll through your fortress :|
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Coilgunner

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2009, 01:23:43 pm »

I need to add tags to wagons to make them a hostile race.  Then you could get wagon sieges.  Maybe they would wrestle?  Or you could add the tags that let them use weapons...

"An ambush curse them! *rumble rumble rumble*
Wagons! 
Urist McHunter cancels return kill, interrupted by wagon.
Urist McHunter has been struck down."

Or an elven caravan arrives, and the wagons bolt off towards unarmed civilian dwarfs and start slaughtering them...
« Last Edit: May 13, 2009, 01:25:33 pm by Coilgunner »
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doctorspoof

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2009, 01:32:23 pm »

That...


...would be horrifying.
What would they bleed? Wood pulp? ...Or maybe they wouldn't bleed at all! As well as [NOPAIN] and [NOBREATH].... they'd be unstoppable.
Good lord! Prepare for the wagon invasion! Make all paths 1 or 2 width! Bolt the doors!


...I've realised something. Maybe the elves were right? Maybe they knew this would happen? Maybe cutting down all these trees made these demon wagons appear? OR MAYBE IT'S SOME NEW ELF TRICKERY!
Urist McWoodcutter, your days are numbered.
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Zaranthan

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2009, 01:39:52 pm »

Meh, just replace the ramps with stairs. We'll be fine.
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zchris13

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2009, 02:31:43 pm »

Meh, just replace the ramps with stairs. We'll be fine.
Not nearly effective enough.  It must use magma.
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Phazer

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2009, 03:15:07 pm »

if you fear wagons you will fear the Hypersonic speed wagons which moves faster than the eye.

its like a normal wagon but 100x faster

its a bug but its damn funny to see a dwarven Ferrari.
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Ubiq

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2009, 06:43:38 pm »

I wonder how well it would work if they were made trainable along with [CAN_LEARN] and [CAN_SPEAK]. Superwagonly Tough War Wagons anyone?

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Itnetlolor

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2009, 07:13:49 pm »

Oh great, and what's next? Champion-eating gazebos?

Armok must've been having several too many late nights, hasn't he?
« Last Edit: May 13, 2009, 07:15:32 pm by Itnetlolor »
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NFossil

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2009, 09:33:55 pm »

I've seen a bridge failing against a bronze colossus before, but a wagon... great. That's why DF is great. Actually I've also seen wagons crushed under bridges before...
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Hamster Man

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2009, 11:59:31 pm »

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So there's that, as well. It looks like the only chronic problems that water can't cure are nausea and cave spider bites.
Which, coincidentally enough, can be cured by magma.

Opirian

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2009, 01:07:50 am »

if you fear wagons you will fear the Hypersonic speed wagons which moves faster than the eye.

its like a normal wagon but 100x faster

its a bug but its damn funny to see a dwarven Ferrari.

I've had one of those pop up before

"Ooo a dwarven caravan has arrived"
ZOOOOM
"and.... the first wagon is already here?"
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Keilden

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Re: And you thought drawbridges were strong...
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2009, 03:26:03 am »

That...


...would be horrifying.
What would they bleed? Wood pulp? ...Or maybe they wouldn't bleed at all! As well as [NOPAIN] and [NOBREATH].... they'd be unstoppable.
Good lord! Prepare for the wagon invasion! Make all paths 1 or 2 width! Bolt the doors!


...I've realised something. Maybe the elves were right? Maybe they knew this would happen? Maybe cutting down all these trees made these demon wagons appear? OR MAYBE IT'S SOME NEW ELF TRICKERY!
Urist McWoodcutter, your days are numbered.
Thats why elfs like trees! The wagons can't travel trough places full of trees!
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