Year 102, Spring:I sense that my time here will be one of great upheaval. I come into this job with a sense of purpose, that purpose being to not get killed by raptors. Many of the dwarves seem worried about my attitude toward my post, but I'm sure they'll soon be won over by my populist nature and caring manner. To show them my dedication to the Spirit of the Fortress, I have laid out the plans for the Palace of Democracy and Equality.
(The people who said "No Megaprojects" were just asking for it)
I've also assigned myself two war dogs, just in case.
Honestly, people definitely had their priorities mixed up here. My predecessor decided it would be a good idea to smooth the walls and floors of our entire main "Ice Cave" (not really sure if it's a cave, actually) in the infant stages of a fortress. This was a huge waste of manpower and it took too many valuable laborers away from the construction of
my the Fortress' palace.
Apparently my predecessor had forgotten the ancient Dwarven art of quantum stock-piling. He designated a pile for finished goods. Ha! We will let them lay as a singularity in our workshops until we need them. This is Dwarven science at work. I will also attempt to build the fabled "Dwarven Atom Smasher" during my stay here. Frankly, we need a trash compactor. Again, we owe our dwarfy comforts to SCIENCE.
Barbarossa has turned into an able administrator, denoted by his title of Administrator. It seems safe to let this enterprising fellow do all the boring work that I simply have no time for.
Elves!
(Look at how smug they are. Traitorous bastards.)
This is a glorious day for dwarf kind. I'm sure that we'll be able to steal more than enough things from them to keep our fortress on its feet. Like I always say, it's for the good of the Fortress.
A couple days of waiting and...
Checkmate, elves! Looks like our two intrepid trader friends (more like traitor friends, am I right?) don't stand a chance.
(This lasted two seconds, at the very most. I am scared out of my wits.)
Well, the raptors have demonstrated their cunning and skill in combat (oh god oh god oh god). I'm sure we can use our Dwarven ingenuity to fend them off (what the hell am I supposed to do Jesus Christ). The raptors then promptly demonstrate that they do not give half a shit about anything by destroying our trade depot in a matter of seconds.
(We are fucked with a capital 'R')
Not more than a few seconds later, Paranatural gives in to insanity. A coincidence? I think not.
Then I start getting spammed with messages about Ravus getting interrupted during his scheduled "let's haul things to random stockpiles back and forth" work hour. Apparently he is scared shitless of the raptors, who are menacing our gates with their long claws and pointy teeth. I also built an all-purpose cage in our central obsidian ice cave place thing so that we don't have dogs running all over the place. Just so you know.
Also, no one can do ANYTHING due to raptors.
And, when you thought things couldn't be any more poorly timed.
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress.
I'll leave you with this quandry. The migrants have arrived. They are waiting at the edge of the map. The raptors are still encircling our glacier top outpost. Our dwarves are running amok outside for no discernible reason. It is the 26th of Slate, and the middle of Spring.
(wtf?)
The genius who figures out why the dwarves are running around outside and tells me how to stop it will be granted a wish of their choosing. You could wish for a different profession, better lodgings, or something else entirely. The genius who figures out how to deal with the raptors without losing our entire fortress will also be granted a wish. Welcome to Raptorfortress. We'll bathe the world in fire if we have to.
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Topic: Raptor Fortress (succession/community game) (Read 16245 times)