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Author Topic: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?  (Read 4456 times)

LegoLord

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #30 on: May 10, 2009, 11:46:17 am »

I think goblin traders might do that.  Look at their ethics.
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

alway

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #31 on: May 10, 2009, 01:03:37 pm »

I think most of the time I am to annoyed at my lazy trader (seriously, hauling stuff to bins when you are requested at the depot?) to give enough hatin' to the elves...
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major_sephiroth

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #32 on: May 10, 2009, 06:27:39 pm »

Significant amounts of cloth. Then some more cloth. Then some more. Current standing record: 26 bins of cloth.  My guys had some cloth rotting issues though so it was semi-welcome.

Also they once brought me A fire imp. In a cage. My fortress suffered burning death.  From it and an orc siege.
A Cage has been destroyed!
Bob McDwarf cancels live: On fire.

Serves me right for trying to live without mining.
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chaturga

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2009, 07:17:39 pm »

Cloth x Insert number suitable for elven prank here and a caged leechman.

I got so excited about raising an army of leechmen, till i released him from the cage and he drowned without water. Ever since i have vowed a slow maiming to any elf i see in adventure mode.
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sweitx

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #34 on: May 10, 2009, 07:43:27 pm »

I may have found a way to reduce the amount of cloth they bring.
Have a large pile of cloth yourself.
They still brings a crapload of junk items (toys, instruments, cloth, wooden weapons, wooden shield).
However, they do bring a large number of wood, some alcohol...
And brought me, so far...
A pair of giant eagle.
A pair of grizzly bear.
A pair of cougar.
A pair of dire wolf.
A pair of black bear (accidentally butchered them).
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One of the toads decided to go for a swim in the moat - presumably because he could path through the moat to my dwarves. He is not charging in, just loitering in the moat.

The toad is having a nice relaxing swim.
The goblin mounted on his back, however, is drowning.

Lord_Shadow

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #35 on: May 10, 2009, 07:46:44 pm »

Three tigers, Two elephants, one GCS. Now tamed they are my fortress defense force (military in training). Oh and cloth I'm to lazy to make my own i can just give them a 2 stacks of lavish prepared meals and get 5 bins of cloth
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Urist McCarpenter cancels rest: QUITSCREWINGWITHMAHBUCKETSYOUSONOFABITCHES!!!
Urist Mccarpenter has gone stark raving mad!
Urist McWalrusCarpenter cancels rest: Has u seen mah bukkit?!

chaturga

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #36 on: May 10, 2009, 07:50:16 pm »


A pair of black bear (accidentally butchered them).


I want to meet the dwarf who "accidently" managed to butcher a black bear, he must be accident prone :/
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Strangething

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #37 on: May 10, 2009, 08:57:37 pm »

Elves bring the things you bought on their last visit. So if you avoid the temptation to load up on wood and cloth, and just buy all the animals, they'll keep bringing more.
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Neruz

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #38 on: May 10, 2009, 09:01:27 pm »

Seven Grizzly Bears in wooden cages.

And absolutely nothing else.

Wild Goose

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #39 on: May 10, 2009, 09:49:56 pm »

I get loads of cloth, wood, leather, and a few berries, here and there.
So far, the elves don't seem too bad.  No demands, little conversation; they show up, trade their goods for our knicknacks/goblin loot, and leave.  Reliable repeat customers.
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"Adventurer's Motto; Take everything not nailed down and nail down whoever tries to stop you."

"Whatever happens, we have got the ballista and they have not."

The dwarven economy is just a stand-in, from what I understand. As it is, it represents an actual economic system about as well as poison ivy represents a salad.

Teferi

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #40 on: May 11, 2009, 02:07:58 am »

just got a oaken spear with an image of Goblins and Elves in Saguaro. The goblins are massacring the Elves.

lulz selling me a spear that shows you get butchered is funny
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I think it'd be better to just throw him in a pit.
By pit I mean "ledge designated as pit some 30 levels above the ground water magma" and that would,as they say be the end of that.
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

A_Fey_Dwarf

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2009, 02:13:13 am »

I've had some pretty awesome creatures from the elves, including a pair of size 16 sea serpents in my succession game, A pair of cougars in a different succession game, elephants, bonobos and a couple of other various animals.
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Demetrious

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #42 on: May 11, 2009, 05:52:18 am »

The elves always bring me cloth, and I don't mind this a bit because otherwise I'd have to set up the clothing industry.

As is, the "clothing industry" consists solely of a single clothiers shop and an impressive quantity of every clothing item imaginable being designated through the managers screen.
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I like the fact we are seriously discussing how to drop dwarfs off towers using  kittens as cushions.

Sasasing

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #43 on: May 11, 2009, 07:45:44 am »

Skulls and bones...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Someone got lost around here D:

Greiger

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #44 on: May 11, 2009, 11:02:48 am »

A>Mountains of cloth(when my fortress' primary export is cloth).

B>Modded carnivore fortress is starving to death.  They come to save the day with assorted berries.

C>Tree felling caps of hundreds in a rocky wasteland.

D>An Orc seige of 80 wyvernriders.

E>A partridge in a pear tree wood cage.(not really)

I would kill them all if I wouldn't have to dump all the worthless crap afterward.
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
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