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Do you read this story semi-regularly/have read it all the way through?  (This just sates my curiosity on how many people read this thing.)

Yes, I read it when it updates!
Yes, I've read/am reading it all the way through!

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Author Topic: Olonkulet - Bloodlines  (Read 62451 times)

Chromie

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #255 on: June 04, 2009, 02:45:13 am »

I uh.. I read this whole thing in one go. *blearyeyed*

Bravo, bravo!
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #256 on: June 04, 2009, 08:39:28 pm »

Heh, I can see it now. The next time Brickbeard and Broose meet, Broose will casually mention that he's member of a town led by a former jewel thief. Then the conversation will go,

"Jewel thief? What's his name?"
"Her name is Emerin."
"Emerin... Emerin, sounds famil-"

And then Brickbeard will gasp from the sudden realization, and will exclaim, to no reader's surprise, that Emerin is Nireme spelled backwards.
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Keita

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #257 on: June 05, 2009, 03:32:52 am »

Ta-daa
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Kel the Oblivious

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #258 on: June 05, 2009, 04:22:19 pm »

>..>

<..<

It is Friday, and I am almost out the door....

I want mah eye candy! Post the next chapter! Pah-leeze!
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Keita

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #259 on: June 05, 2009, 04:44:09 pm »

DO NOT DEMAND FROM THE GREAT ONE!

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Iituem

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #260 on: June 05, 2009, 07:04:24 pm »

27th Granite, 354

"So how are you today, Cog?" called Frey, leaning back in his cell as sunlight filtered through the gaol's barred windows.  As usual, the sergeant refused to speak or acknowledge him.  Today he was doing press-ups and stretching while Frey rambled.

"I'm fine too, thank you for asking," said Frey with a smirk.  "Isn't the weather lovely today, Cog?  It's sunny out."  Though Frey received no response to his questioning, the cells were not silent.  The three goblin prisoners were casually chatting to one another in their own tongue, apparently unwilling or unable to speak dwarven.  Each of the goblins had drawn a set of concentric circles in the dust on their cell floors, using grains of maize from their meal slops to act as markers.  Frey had seen goblins play the little game before with pebbles, though he had no understanding of the rules.  Sometimes constable Stug would come into the gaol and play for an hour or so on his breaks.

"Seems like fun, doesn't it, Cog?" Frey remarked.  "Of course, I'm always a fan of a good puzzlebox myself-"

"Nil," said the sergeant.  Frey blinked in surprise.

"Pardon?"

"My name is Nil."

"Well okay then, Nil.  Do you enjoy puzzleboxes?"  Frey waited for a few moments before it became apparent he was going to receive no further reply.

"Well, perhaps you shall tell me some other day, Nil."

Frey looked up as the gaol door opened.  Ascubis wandered in with some bowls of brown chow, mixed with firecaps and boiled agave sprouts, much as usual.

"Scooby, you are the wind beneath my wings," chuckled Frey.  "What culinary delicacies has Urgash prepared for us tonight?"

"Give it a rest, Frey," sighed Ascubis.  "It's the same slop as every night.  Stop calling me that, too."

"Thanks, Scooby."  Frey gave the guard a wink and Ascubis rolled his eyes and went to ladling out the slops.  When he had left, Frey turned to the sergeant.

"So I notice you prefer the firecaps, Nil.  I mean you always eat them first and leave the sprouts til later, and nobody could possibly prefer the chow, so why don't we do a swap?  You can have all the firecaps from my bowl and I'll take the sprouts off your hands?  Deal?"

Frey reached across the bars for Nil's bowl, but the sergeant grabbed his wrist.

"I leave the sprouts til last," he said slowly, "because I like them."  He released Frey's hand.

"Alright," said Frey.  "What about the other way around?  I'll take the firecaps and you can have my sprouts.  Sound good?"

Nil did not respond, but neither did he stop Frey exchanging the contents of the bowls.

"Well, enjoy your meal, Nil." 

Frey raised his bowl cheerfully.  Nil ignored him.



Sgt Broose's Diary
2nd Slate, 354

Received a visit from Lokum today, bearing news both ill and good.  His uncle is taking well to healing and has already begun bossing around his nephews at the glass forge, and he brought two baskets of sunset wine and ruinjam, a welcome gift from his aunt, cousin and sister.  The ill news is that the sietch received an escaped survivor from Halfmirrors, which according to Dani's translation of the map is the sietch closest to the 'new' settlement of Threepools.  The humans had written their equivalent of 'Stone' and the first letter of their word for 'breaker' on the map, so I guess we know where he's holed up.

Stonebreaker's goblins took the sietch and enslaved the inhabitants but additionally brought in a mining crew.  According to the survivor, who has stayed on at Catchwater, they are fortifying the sietch as a watchtower.  Sounds like Stonebreaker may be planning on digging in at his new home.  Understandable, it's near the Cryptic border and right on top of a major trade route.  Good access to slaves, conscripts and goods and food for plundering.

I've put in a request with Emerin and the captain to take Jora and Datan to investigate.  Khain's still laid up with his injury, though he can walk with it and sometimes comes to watch sparring training or take walks around the town.  May be a long time before he can fight with it, though.



3rd Slate, 354

Shadows.  Even in the draped half-light of the dream, the figures stood out as dull purple shadows distinct from the rest.  Three circled him, pacing around the blurry, indistinct form of the mountain's slope.  He glanced to his axe, the curve of its sharpened edge glimmering with pure white light amongst the mottled greens and blues.  He swung his blade deftly at the first shadow, but it dodged to the left, its bladed arm swinging close by his face.  A second shadow lunged at him, but he brought up his shield to deflect the blow, its silvery surface flaring with brilliant light as he deflected it.  He ducked and dodged the shadows' strokes, their bladed limbs gleaming with violet strobes as they swung, until the third shadow left itself open.  He raised his axe to deliver the killing blow when the air left his chest.  Staring down in shock he watched the spear of darkness erupt from his chest like billowing ink shot into water.  He turned with the last of his strength and gazed up into the emotionless, silvery face of a steel dwarf on the ridge above.  Then he felt his body turn to liquid, running down the mountain's slope toward the welcoming embrace of the dark blue mists below.


Corporal Datan awoke suddenly, his breaths desperate and laboured.  He glanced around at the others in the brass circle - some had already woken and left after the ritual, others remained deep in slumber.  Fora was awake, huddled against one of the pillars with her knees pressed up against her chest.

"Troubled sleep?" she asked.  Datan nodded.  "Fears about the journey today?"

"No," he said.  "I did not see the cathedral.  There was something else."

"What?"

"An ill omen."


8th Slate, 354

Broose studied the fortifications from a distance, laid flat on the dune with a hand shadowing his eyes.  The three dwarves and their guide were covered by dusty cloaks stained dark scarlet with prairie rose dye, giving them an element of camouflage against the sea of red sands.  Rough diorite walls had been erected and quickly, with work progressing on a small lookout tower.  Goblin bowmen stood atop the walls, scanning the desert plains boredly for signs of trouble.

"Locked up tight," said Broose.  "We're not getting in there, and no sign of the inhabitants.  Hey, wake up kid."  He nudged Datan in the ribs, who started.

"What?  Ah, sorry sarge.  Not been getting much sleep lately."

"Well deal with it.  Mind on the job and all that."

"Aye, sarge.  Could've been taken already.  That Threepools place on the map's only a few days away."

"Can you get us there?" Broose asked the guide.

"Within a league or so," said the dwarf, "but you're on your own getting into that place.  No offense, but you soldiers get paid to risk your necks, I don't."

"Alright, take us there."



10th Slate, 354

Haste was the watchword of Threepools.  Everything appeared hurried; the construction, the stockpiling, the people.  The site itself was a good one; a raised rocky outcropping over three small lakes where a pair of brooks met and ran on into a river, but the walls were a quickly assembled affair of local diorite and chalk.  Not even time to mix mortar it seemed, the walls were dry-stone cut and held together by brute weight and sheer masonic ingenuity.  Rushed as it may have been however, Broose could see it was sturdy dwarven engineering and would hold in a siege, especially one that came later rather than sooner - improvements and modifications were being made even now.

Work crews were dragging stone blocks and boulders up to the fort and empty wagons down to the lower quarries at any given time, droves of goblin, dwarven and even human slaves providing ample labour for the whipmasters to command.  The outer quarries were largely being excavated to make more sheer the outer defences of Threepools; her engineers had none of the aesthetic reservations of Broose's own home town and he knew well enough that much of the fortress' stone came from the chambers being dug within.  Hidden barracks, armouries and slave pits would all be excavated to cater to the fortress' needs.

"Why are they building an overground fort like that?" asked Jora.  "Why not just dig straight into the mountainside like in the Mountainhomes?"

"Engineering marches on," said Broose.

"What?"

"There've been a few civil wars amongst dwarves this past century, corporal.  Fortress architects started to learn the lesson that it doesn't matter how well trapped your hole in the ground is when you're facing an enemy that just direct a river straight into it and drown your entire army.  So you build walls up to take advantage of archery and to divert any unwanted water flows.  Would not surprise me if there are drains being delved in that fort as well, just in case."

"How we getting in then, sarge?"

"You two are getting in with the work crews.  You'll have to bury your armour here, but you can probably hide your weapons in the stone carts and grab them when you've gotten in."

"What about you, sarge?" asked Datan.

"I shall be doing a bit of a look-see around whilst you're busy hauling blocks.  This is scouting, so no engagements.  When you get in, stick together and I'll find you."


A short while later, the three soldiers had buried their armour in a safe spot and Jora and Datan had smuggled themselves down to the quarry to join the work crews.  Broose stole some rope from the construction work and made himself a rough lasso, scaling up a quiet section of the wall and perching on the edge, looking around.  He smirked to himself as he saw who was on patrol.


Brickbeard watched boredly over the quarries below as antlike herds of slaves cut rock from the cliff-face and dragged it to the batallion of masons cutting boulders into locking dry-stone blocks.  He paced along the line of the wall, waving to the other patroldwarf on duty and ducking under the lip of the guardhouse roof to light his pipe.  A hand knocked it away as it grabbed him by the mouth and pulled him into the shadows, a thin steel dagger resting gently against his throat.

"Hullo again, Brickie," said his assailant softly.

"Mmrph?" exclaimed Brickbeard incredulously.

"Aye, it's me.  Now I know you're not stupid, so I'm going to let my hand off.  We good on that?  Alright."  He did so, and Brickbeard turned around to face him.

"You son of a bitch," Brickbeard spat.

"Thanks," chuckled Broose.  "I'm thrilled to see you too."  He embraced him tightly and the two dwarves laughed.  They released one another.

"I thought you were stuck in the pokey," said Brickbeard.

"Nah, got out in the big break a few years back."

"Damn it, dwarf, you should've found me!  We had a sweet gig going with a kobold smuggling giant cave spider venom, was a real laugh until the little scrag got himself killed."

"Ouch.  Law track him down?"

"Nah, his suppliers.  Guess he was short changing them on the revenue, and we've heard all the jokes about short changing dwarves.  Started on this job not long after."

"What were you up to while I was in the deep hole, then?"

"This and that.  Did a bit of banditry, the usual.  Had a string of successful gigs with this girl Nireme, culminated in a big jewellery theft.  Bitch ratted us out and left with the goods, of course.  I ever find her, I'll slit her throat myself."  Broose did the anagram work and opted to say nothing more on that.  "So where've you been for the last three years, then?"

"Stuck here in the desert, actually.  Got out on a boat, bloody thing breaks apart, strands us at the desert's edge.  We finally get a wagon built to leave, thing breaks down and I end up taking residence.  I don't know, Brick.  Sometimes it's like Gigin Herself is out to get me."

"Well, you can hook back up with us now you're here.  Food's not bad, regular at any rate and it isn't a half bad job."

"Not really sure-"

"Hey," grinned Brickbeard.  "I hear there's looting opportunities on the horizon."

"Looting?" asked Broose with interest.  "Really, now?  What sort of-"

"Oi!" called a voice from along the wall.  "Brickbeard!  Who's that you're talking to?"

Broose turned quickly, a chill creeping down his spine.  The other marksdwarf was heading towards them at a quick march, crossbow held loosely in his hand.



Jora and Datan trudged through the fortress archway with the other slaves, heads down under their cloaks and pulling the heavy wagon of bricks on their ropes.  The slaves set the wagon down and began moving in a different direction.  The two soldiers walked over to the bricks and prepared to retrieve their weapons when two heavy, meaty hands grabbed them bodily by the shoulder.

"What do you think you're doing?" roared the slavemaster, a monstrously muscled brute of a human.

"We-" stuttered Jora, pointing at the wagon.  "The blocks-"

"Are going to construction.  You two maggots are on kitchen duty!  Now get to work or it'll be the lash for the both of you!"  The slavemaster threw the pair into the mob of slaves trudging towards a tent-covered building.  Caught up in the flow of pressed bodies, they were helpless to do aught but watch as a fresh team of slaves picked up the wagon's ropes and hauled it and their weapons away.



---------

I promise and I deliver.  Albeit at the last minute (it was a very long Friday).

Total words in update:  2,307
Current buffer:  0 words (time to get my write on!)
Next update:  Monday



Do not demand from the great one.  But by all means, demand from me.   :P
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scuba

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #261 on: June 05, 2009, 08:49:44 pm »

lol scuuby. i thought i heard enough of that from my friends lol i guess not :P
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Enzo

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #262 on: June 06, 2009, 12:21:34 am »

Funny thing. I never really put it together, due to the episodic nature and the fact that they were never in a scene together, that there was an elf Datan and a dwarf Datan. And that maybe I should be more specific with my requests.  :-\

This is cool too though.
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #263 on: June 06, 2009, 12:27:51 am »

Agreed. But I hope Broose doesn't get to have all the fun with these outdoor excursions. Maybe story limitations prevent others from going out, I guess.
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Iituem

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #264 on: June 08, 2009, 06:22:17 pm »

"Claspreadies!" hailed Brickbeard, slapping Broose on the shoulder and bringing him into the light.  "Broose, this here's Corporal Claspreadies, a decent shot with a Burnlight and Strongarm.  Claspreadies, this is one of my men; Sergeant Broose, one of the finest axedwarves to ever grace my side in battle.  Brought him in to sign on, didn't I, Broose?"

"Oh, aye," said Broose, following Brickbeard's lead.

"Oh, alright," said Claspreadies, the crossbow dropping to his side.  "You ought to put new privates through the quartermaster's office, though, Brick.  Get him some armour and whatnot."  The marksdwarf frowned, noticing Broose's bow.  "Thought you said he was an axedwarf?"

"I was," said Broose.  "Got a dent in my back six years ago from a gobber mace.  Trained up as a ranger after that."  He lifted his shirt and turned to reveal a rather nasty scar which seemed to appease Claspreadies.

"Fair do.  Brick, you want me to cover for you while you take him down to sign on?"

"Good one," thanked Brickbeard.  He led Broose down the stairwell, commenting; "Goblin mace?"

"Couldn't very well say I got it striking down a royal guardsdwarf, could I?  Also, private?  Bit of a demotion."

"Yeah, but the pay's better.  Got to be better than whatever hole in the sand you're working for now, right?"

"Yeah, probably.  You think I should send them a resignation letter?"

"Chances are you'll be able to deliver it personally when the army comes to them," Brickbeard laughed.  "Come on then, it's this way."

Brickbeard led Broose through the cramped fortress streets, bare rock sanded smooth by the passage of hundreds of feet and sandwiched between double-storey drystone buildings filled with kitchens, slaughterhouses, tanneries and forges; professions impractical or unpreferable to work in the less ventilated tunnels beneath the fort.  The pair reached a central bailey consisting of four drystone walls with saw-toothed parapets surrounding a courtyard with steps leading below ground.  Broose recognised the formation; any opponent able to penetrate the outer walls would have to face a murder hole inside the bailey trying to get down to the lower tunnels.  He could also make out the faint lines in the worn stone where the trapsetters had carved out the rock and replaced it to conceal their work.

Beneath the bailey, Broose was surprised by the layout of the dungeons; a blend of dwarven design and ruthless goblin practicality.  The wide central corridor, three dwarves wide with barracks and other rooms branching off, was common to most dwarven settlements, but the saw-toothed walls reminiscent of the tower's jagger design bore little rough bunks in the alcoves.  Ragged goblin and occasionally dwarven forms slumbered in some of them.  Brickbeard noticed Broose's eye.

"You remember the raid on Murderwatches?" he asked.  "When the commander went dirt-side once we broke through the tower gate?"

"Vividly," said Broose darkly.  "We lost Corporals Coppergates and Halftraded to the ambushes going through those tunnels.  I remember the slave bunks though, aye."

"Well, the General picked up this goblin 'zosto-smang', Vilepoints.  Don't ask me what it means, she's an architect.  She's responsible for a bunch of the designs and has sort of taken up a role as an advisor.  Speaks proper language and all as well as that gobber nonsense.  Here we are, anyway."

The quartermaster's office was cramped, much like everything else in Threepools.  One entire half of the room was stacked high with bins of freshly sewn leather armour and shields and rusted and bloody chainmail and weapons, testifying to the diverse range of equipment sources Stonebreaker's dwarves drew upon.  A cosmopolitan mob of dwarves and goblins occupied the other half, haranguing the tired goblin with various requests.  Broose took one look at the mess and barged through to the desk, elbowing through anyone in his way.  The goblin, whose striped identified him as a corporal, glared up with haggard yellow eyes.

"What you want?" he spat in thickly accented dwarven.

"That's what do you want, sir," said Broose sharply, "and what I want is for you to get a grip of the situation, corporal!  You're a mess and you should've been changed out hours ago, but since you haven't you can bloody well sit up, straighten your uniform and sort this mess out!"  Broose turned and bore down upon the suddenly attentive crowd like the wrath of the gods.

"As for you lot, if you aren't properly dressed and in rank in ten seconds every one of you is going to be taking turns at the at the whipping post!  Move it, move it, move it!"  The crowd quickly evolved into a rank under Broose's withering gaze, albeit a rank heavily preoccupied with doing up buttons, trying to slouch to attention and jostling to hide behind someone else or, failing that, themselves.  Many were missing various articles of uniform and collectively appeared to have the grace and discipline of a pregnant hippopotamus.

"I've never seen as sorry a sight in my life, but it'll do," conceded Broose before returning his attention to the quartermaster.  "My name is Sergeant Broose Helmedentranced, but you may call me God.  Sarge is equally appropriate."  Broose judged the goblin's look of fury-laced but clearly submissive fear to be appropriate and went on.  "Each dwarf, goblin or man here will approach one at a time from the left of the rank to right, in order, and receive one helmet, one pair of boots, one pair of gloves and one breastplate, all in leather.  If they want metal armour, weapons or shields, they need a signed chit from a superior officer and you are to take no excuses.  Is that understood?"

"Yes, sarge," grumbled the goblin, avoiding his gaze.

"But before all of that, you are going to get hold of a set of chainmail, a nose helm and a dagger and battleaxe with sheathes, all in steel and all in good condition."

"And what in for me?" asked the goblin.  Broose leaned in close enough to smell the raw meat on the goblin's breath and brought his fist down on the table with a dull thud.

"You get to be in my good graces," he said in a low voice.  "Which is a darn sight better than anyone else in this room.  Here's my chit."  He opened his fist just enough to reveal to the goblin and only to the goblin a handful of peridot cabochons.  The goblin corporal's eyes sparkled as avarice flooded in to fill the void left by suddenly absent wrath.  As he reached forward to take the gems, Broose grabbed hold of his wrist.

"What's your name, corporal?"

"Inkedboils," said the goblin.  Broose released the grip and the peridots disappeared into a pocket.  He straightened up.

"Well, Corporal Inkedboils, you can ensure those items are delivered to my room, which I know you are going to arrange for me as well, after you have dealt with these miscreants."  He turned to the still-attentive crowd and bellowed.  "You lot have one hour to sort out your equipment, at the end of which you will be present, correct and attentive in the main barracks for drills.  I will be checking headcount and anyone found missing will have the pleasure of my personal dissatisfation."  Broose gave one last nod to the servile Corporal Inkedboils and marched out of the supply chamber, Brickbeard trying his level best not to burst into laughter until they had gone the length of a hallway.

"What did you bribe him with?" he asked upon finally getting his breath back.

"Gemstones.  My old boss had about six caches of them hidden around town she thought nobody knew about.  Call it severance pay."

"Come on," said Brickbeard, "let's get a drink.  Now you're a sergeant, you can mump me some ale at the mess hall."

"How about I treat you both?" said a voice from behind them.  The pair turned to see a lightly armoured dwarf behind them.  The rankings on his cloak marked him as a captain.  The massive warhammer strapped to his back and twin scars along his face marked him as an officer with real battlefield experience.  Brickbeard saluted.

"Captain Torir," he greeted.  "This is-"

"Another soldier smuggled in from your band of thieves, Sergeant Brickbeard," said Torir.  "More audacious than the others, at that.  Impressive words, probationary Sergeant Helmedentranced.  I shall be watching you very carefully to see that they hold up to the truth."  He clapped hands on the shoulders of the two sergeants and grinned a mirthless grin.  "Mess hall is this way, men.  You can tell me all about how you got here."



---------

Words in update:  1,432
Buffer: 0 (busier weekend than I thought)
Next update:  Wednesday at the latest.


I'm afraid that story limitations do prevent some of the others leaving at this immediate stage, particularly for the next few updates.  They also limit the implementation of some of the non-fortress soldiers clearly not on Stonebreaker's side for a while.  Instead, I shall try to use this to introduce some of the other non-fortress soldiers, as well as a couple of fortress dwarves who cannot appear in the story yet (either waiting for a suitable migration or for the Baron in the case of Kanute's character).  Datan the elf will actually make an appearance eventually, but the town only has three dwarves in its militia who could conceivably leave.

Slightly shorter update than usual.  Will aim to provide a larger update on Wednesday to make up for it.  After the next update or two, we shall likely be returning to stories in the fortress for a little bit.

A question as well; are people very much put off by the non-fortress diversions?  I can try to keep close to events within the fortress as they actually happen, but for the next year or so ingame not a great deal actually happens (mostly construction work) and the expedition style writing allows me to make the greater conflict which serves as the backdrop to Olonkulet's rise more relevant by involving story dwarves and giving them personal stakes in its development beyond news from the odd trader, providing reasoning for the ambush attacks and setting the stage for the eventual besieging of Olonkulet.*

Comments and criticisms appreciated.


*Avoiding the following exchange:

"Why do goblins keep attacking us, Likot?"

"Because they're goblins, Urist!  Now shut up and eat your dog burger."
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

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Eagle

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #265 on: June 08, 2009, 06:46:16 pm »

Awesome. The side stories dont really detract, especially if theres nothing happening back home. I just wanna know if anything happens to Ragna or if she does anything awesome meanwhile.

Im starting to see a lot of Prachett influence. Especially the quartermaster scene; reminds me a lot of Night Watch (the book, not the group).  ;D

Jim Groovester

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #266 on: June 08, 2009, 08:26:19 pm »

I like the overland excursions. Fortress mode itself provides a very poor framework for writing an interesting story, so anything to get away from that is good in my mind.

Or maybe it's just having two characters that are frequently featured in the story. Go figure.

Anyways, keep it up, Iituem.

Emerin's log

Dammit, somebody stole one of my stashes of peridots. If I ever find the bastard who did, I'll make him cut me ten star ruby mini-forges, with failure punishable by fifty one days in jail and a beating from Captain Ragna. That'll show that petty jewel thi-ARGH! The irony is killing me!

I'm a little uncomfortable with letting Broose go on his little adventures and taking Jora and Datan with him. With Khain wounded, our fighting force is limited to Ragna and her elven swordmaster ways and her guardsmen. Ragna better be damn capable of defending the town, because I don't think I can allow further expeditions if the safety of this fort is compromised.

I allowed them in the first place on Ragna and Frey's advisement. They reasoned that if they can scout out the enemy and befriend a network of towns, then our little outpost will never be in danger because we'll always see the enemy coming. They were convincing enough, but making sure these towns don't go telling the mountainhomes about us will be expensive. That elf Datan is already taking too much of our money.

Frey won't talk to me about the prisoners, and I don't want to ask him. Ever since he mangled that dwarf, I've decided to disassociate myself from it completely.

* * *

Unrelated to the above, I get the feeling that Emerin won't survive the story. I think her fate is tied closely with that of Olonkulet's, since she seems to be drawn to it despite her will, and in order for the city to become the technological terror it's supposed to be, she must die. Otherwise, she's too much of a good natured leader to let something so horrible happen on her watch, and the city will prosper under her guidance.

If this seems somewhat self-absorbed, it probably is. But I'm perfectly fine with Emerin dying to serve the greater purpose of the story. And hey, there's already a character (probably several) who is just itching to cut her throat.

I hope this happens at some point, but not soon. I'm sure there will be a critical time and a critical place where Emerin may or may not die.
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I understood nothing, contributed nothing, but still got to win, so good game everybody else.

Kanute

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #267 on: June 08, 2009, 08:39:19 pm »

These side-stories don't so much detract as they add to the story, in my opinion. I really enjoyed the description of the architecture and the fusion of the human, dwarven, and goblin societies into something new. This last update's probably my favourite: exotic locales, strange people, and character development. It has it all!

I don't see any Terry Pratchett influence, myself: I can read any amount of Iituem's work while I can't stand Pratchett at all.

Well, except for the Mincewind side-story, of course.
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Kel the Oblivious

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #268 on: June 08, 2009, 10:30:19 pm »

While I do look forward to watching what you do with Kel, I still find great enjoyment in reading your stories. It is like a true novel. It does not take place in a single setting. The heros must travel, seek out their foes, strike them down in distant lands, and return with scars and glory.

Also, it is a welcome diversion. I want to see what is going on in the outside world, one of the problems with fortress mode, you can not wage war, only defend against it. Take the fight to the enemy!

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To err is to man, as to kill your entire population because you forgot a single stone block in your incredibly amazing steam aquaduct system is to dwarf

Enzo

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Re: Olonkulet - War Machine (Community - M/W/F)
« Reply #269 on: June 08, 2009, 11:16:25 pm »

At first I was wary of taking a few characters away from all the rest. With so many characters, once you shift focus so much it can be hard to shift back. We'll see if that's a problem later on, but the execution so far has been great. While, in general, I'm not big on the political-intrigue side of fiction, it's fun to watch as this world develops and it's big players take shape. And the militia always seems to be doing something fun.

As for the Emerin dying hypothesis, there were a couple hints early on of revolution. But somewhere along the line Emerin slid from untrustworthy con artist to lovable rogue. Maybe Brickbeard will mix things up for her? Because your theory, Jim, is... quite plausible. I'm looking forward to the whole...main Olonkulet storyline, I guess you'd call it. With the mechanics and all.

Datan the elf will actually make an appearance eventually, but the town only has three dwarves in its militia who could conceivably leave.
Glad to hear it. It seemed like as soon as I requested Datan, other-Datan got shoved into the spotlight, but I guess that was planned before I said anything.
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