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Author Topic: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?  (Read 1904 times)

Nerserus

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Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« on: May 07, 2009, 03:41:48 pm »

Recently i got sieged by three squads of Chosen Warriors ( Didn't think much of it. "Free metal" to be honest. :)) They set up camp. So i took advantage by making tons of traps. By the time i was done the entrance was not trapped to hell, but it would take most sieges ( Including a vampire siege and orc siege ). The first squadron started to move: A bunch of wrestlers led by a swordmaster. Expecting this to be laughably easy. I left them to die at my traps. When they got to the entrance they started chasing my cats ( Works for me, no catsplosion. What a sight. A bunch of demons armed to the teeth with keen armour riding velociraptors after cats ;D ). Anyway. After that amusing spectacle was over ( And several cats have been mutilated. ). They went for my entrance, the wrestler got eviscerated and lost all hope for the rest of the squad...But no.

The swordmaster WALKED through my ENTIRE TRAPPED HALL WITH ONLY A SLIGHTLY CUT LEFT LOWER LEG!!!! He then casually walked down the entrance. Panicking, i got my best marksdwarf in with -Keen Bolts- to take shots at him until he dropped. Not a single shot hit him, to reward him for his brave act. The Swordmaster decapitated him in one swing. Saying enough was enough, i got Bomrek, legendary Chosen One killer of the fortress ( Who recently healed a broken leg ), and his partner, a speardwarf in full platemail, to go after him. They surrounded him, i expected the fight to be over before it started. But no. The swordmaster KICKED. THEIR. ASS. Like Chuck Norris versus a rabbit...I said. THATS IT, I'VE HAD IT, WITH THAT MOTHER CARPING CHOSEN WARRIOR, IN MY MOTHER CARPING FORTRESS!...So i made every single dwarf in the fortress a recruit and sent them after him...That Chosen Warrior...Is the most badass opponent i have ever seen...Ever...Period...He slaughtered everybody, he was whaled on at all sides, hell he lost an eye, broke his sword arm...BUT HE IS STILL GOING! Whats more...He's winning, i'm losing every dwarf i send to him. Sure, he isn't killing them so fast now. But people are still dying...Y'know the Truly frightening part?...The fight is still going...

I shall show the video later on, cover your eyes dwarf lovers. To say he kills people inhumanely is an under-statement when he has a sword bigger than the people he is fighting.

FUN FACTS: He is fighting with a bronze pickaxe embedded in his manhood!.

                 He is SuperChosen Warriorly Tough ;D.

                 He is kicking everyone' ass on his own. No help at all.

                 After seeing how epic he is. I WANT him to win. Seriously. He deserves it.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2009, 03:46:43 pm by Nerserus »
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stack of 10 prepared dragonfly brains - I'm trying to imagine what's more funny: a dwarf popping a tiny dragonfly brain into his mouth for a snack, the butcher who actually prepared this feast, or the brave hunter who ventured out into the wilderness and returned with this bounty.

Phazer

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2009, 03:54:27 pm »

this reminds me of the orcs, a spearmaster actually killed 10 Giant Cave spiders not all at once but like 3 and thats kinda badass. you both love and hate when they litteraly runs throu youre fort killing every little thing in theyre way.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2009, 04:04:18 pm by Phazer »
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Org

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2009, 03:56:14 pm »

Chosen Warrior?

Whats that? Mod? Please direct me too it.
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Wahad

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2009, 03:57:45 pm »

FUN FACTS: He is fighting with a bronze pickaxe embedded in his manhood!.

*sympathy cringe*
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Vilien

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2009, 04:19:48 pm »

I want this mod.
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Nerserus

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2009, 04:21:43 pm »

The Chosen Warriors are from the Chaos Reigns mod ( It's pretty awesome. ). Anyway. He won. Single-handedly he took the fortress and slaughtered every man, woman and child. THEN. He pulled the pickaxe out of his crotch. He then casually went to the chasm and now beats the crap out of chasm monsters for fun.

I grabbed the sword he dropped and went around in adventure mode with it. I instant kill pretty much everything. Awesome...
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stack of 10 prepared dragonfly brains - I'm trying to imagine what's more funny: a dwarf popping a tiny dragonfly brain into his mouth for a snack, the butcher who actually prepared this feast, or the brave hunter who ventured out into the wilderness and returned with this bounty.

Phazer

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2009, 04:23:35 pm »

i command you in the name of Urist mcuglyface to post a picture of that weapon
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Dragon: My plan is foolproof! Those foolish dwarves cannot resist walking near lava! If I hop in, then they won't know what hit them! I'll just- AH! OH GOD! I WASTED MY LIFE!

Nerserus

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2009, 04:33:38 pm »

i command you in the name of Urist mcuglyface to post a picture of that weapon
It's a two handed eviscerator sword ( Superior quality ). He wielded it ONE FREAKING HANDED!

I gave in to starvation just so i could read the legends and see what he did ( Sorry. ) the sword is worth over ten thousand dwarf bucks. And his chainmail is over thirty thousand dwarf bucks from what i remember. All of his stuff was Keen. Better than steel by ( 180% Damage and Block perc if i recall ). I don't think i have EVER fought one opponent with every dwarf in my fortress...Only to lose none-the-less...The halls are littered with corpses. My adamantine artifact chest is now gone ( I presume looted. ). There isn't barely a square to step on in the underground level which isn't occupied by a dwarven corpse. Yet. The Chosen Warrior isn't only still alive. He still fights creatures. Non-stop. I read the adventure-logs, he is kicking chasm monster ass like no tommorow ( Even though my men mangled his legs and tore out his eye and he no longer has his sword. He still manages to kill everything he fights. ).

EDIT: Movie's up.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2009, 04:58:50 pm by Nerserus »
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stack of 10 prepared dragonfly brains - I'm trying to imagine what's more funny: a dwarf popping a tiny dragonfly brain into his mouth for a snack, the butcher who actually prepared this feast, or the brave hunter who ventured out into the wilderness and returned with this bounty.

Slashcko

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2009, 10:05:57 pm »

Sorry, where's the movie at?
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nutzy

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DWeird

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2009, 04:42:28 am »

What's the name of this fellow?

And, um, is he killing all those enemies with a bronze pickaxe now..?
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kotekzot

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2009, 05:18:10 am »

he must be a proficient miner by now.
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Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

Nerserus

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2009, 09:18:46 am »

What's the name of this fellow?

And, um, is he killing all those enemies with a bronze pickaxe now..?
Nope. Doing so with his shield. The pickaxe was stuck in his private areas. Anywho, yeah. He beat the crap out of everyone.

His sword is as follows: 370 Damage (Keen plus a normal Eviscerator damage). Plus superior quality, let's say: 197 extra. Equals to 567. That's better than an adamantine battle axe!!!!.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2009, 09:41:03 am by Nerserus »
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stack of 10 prepared dragonfly brains - I'm trying to imagine what's more funny: a dwarf popping a tiny dragonfly brain into his mouth for a snack, the butcher who actually prepared this feast, or the brave hunter who ventured out into the wilderness and returned with this bounty.

Necronic

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2009, 10:49:57 am »

can someone link to this mod pls? My google fu is lacking
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Rysith

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Re: Chosen Warriors: More badass than orcs?
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2009, 12:17:35 pm »

My favorite similar orc was Xuspgas Hellbites, an Orc master lasher. Died at Lanternwebs, killing a dwarven swordmaster and axe lord (both in exceptional full plate) fighting eleven to one against sword and axe champions with a no-quality iron whip. Kept fighting despite missing both eyes and his throat. Survived for an astonishingly long time after overexerting and passing out in the middle of the battle.
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Try my orc mod!
The OP deserves the violent Dwarven equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize.
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