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Author Topic: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.  (Read 5641 times)

Yanlin

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It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« on: May 06, 2009, 10:36:52 am »

He's 153.

This thread is devoted to Freudian jokes.

How many Freuds does it take to change a lightbulb? 2.

One to change the lightbulb, one to hold the penis. I mean ladder!
« Last Edit: May 07, 2009, 08:31:23 am by Yanlin »
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Puck

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Re: It's Sigmond Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2009, 10:42:40 am »

One shrink talks to another:
Today a patient told me about a very funny freudian slip. He was having dinner with his wife and wanted to ask for the salt.
- And what did he actually say instead?
'You stupid bitch ruined my life.'

and it's Sigmund, btw

Yanlin

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2009, 10:50:32 am »

Fix'd.
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Cthulhu

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2009, 03:15:42 pm »

Code: [Select]
That's great.    I love Freud.    He really is      the    great  father
of           the   field           of     rad      and       uh,  
like,       great  psychology.     But      the     lame     jokes aren't
funny at all. I   mean              really.  Come    on.               Stop
it.                Stop it right.    now.    I      mean.   it.  Stop now.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2009, 04:02:23 pm by Cthulhu »
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viskaslietuvai

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2009, 03:40:36 pm »

Um. Try not to want to kill your dad and marry your mother? That's the best I got.
Freud was (colorful expletive) crazy. But, and I can't remember who originally said this, an idea need not be correct to be influential.
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Awayfarer

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2009, 03:42:03 pm »

I'm actually seeing a shrink now. Not a psychiatrist, just a little shriveled up guy.
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"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

Strife26

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2009, 05:29:38 pm »

Not a fan of the chap myself.
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Lear

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2009, 05:35:07 pm »

Not a fan of the chap myself.
Yeah same here. Quite humorous to discuss however.
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Akroma

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2009, 04:16:13 am »

sigmund freud sucks

he sais I am a transsexual narcisst

because I am a narcisst, I want to fuck myself. But because all women crave the cock, I also want to be a man, so I can fuck myself with my cock.
And now that I have a meta-cock in my mind, I also want to give my cock to other women.



sigmund freud is shit
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Aqizzar

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2009, 05:07:45 am »

sigmund freud is shit

So according to Freud, you're a narcissist who likes sex with other women?

At the risk of sounding crass, I'd say he's got you pegged.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2009, 05:14:59 am »

That was... Insightful Akroma. In a "never sleep soundly again" sort of way.
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Akroma

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2009, 05:25:12 am »

yes, Freuds theories do that to your sleeping habits.

just read what he wrote about your fathers penis, and what it means to you
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Find comfort in that most people of intelligence jeer at the inmost mysteries, if superior minds were ever placed in fullest contact with the secrets preserved by
 ancient and lowly cults, the resultant abnormalities would soon not only wreck the world, but threathen the very ingerity of the cosmos

Jackrabbit

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2009, 05:28:15 am »

Bluntly, no.
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Nilocy

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2009, 06:17:31 am »

My god, yyeah we learnt in psychology that freud was basically a crack addict who liked sex way to much. (Hard as it may be). From what he says, every single person is attracted to their parents sexually, and thats teh reason why you do as they ask. Its unbelievably stupid. But very funny. He does have some points i guess, since sex is the major drive in a species so i guess you do have sex on the mind all the time, whether conciously or sub conciously.

And yeah, Akroma where'd you find out about yourself being a narcisstic transexual? If its the internet or self diagnosed... tehn don't trust it :D
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Jackrabbit

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Re: It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today.
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2009, 06:19:13 am »

I am not attracted to my parents. I can testify that in front of God.
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