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Author Topic: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards  (Read 8161 times)

Sensei

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #45 on: May 21, 2009, 10:40:31 pm »
This EXACT same thing happened to me (fortunately it was only an easy giant nearby). What makes my story more absurd though is that it took all of 24 hours for me to do the quest, so the probability unless there's a pattern hare to speak of is virtually nill.

I did find a couple forgotten narrow garments, so I presume it was goblins (they're not orcs!). I hate/thank them.
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Leafsnail

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #46 on: May 22, 2009, 04:35:37 pm »
Decided to take some revenge on the elves today.  Took one of the Arachnids from dwarf wiki, and went on a rampage in 2 elven settlements.  86 of them killed, although I never found the damn druid.  Also killed 12 animals that were trying to defend the place, and 19 of the Elves oh so precious wildlife (mainly deer and foxes).  Got bored, so went north to a human town.

I arrive at night.  Guess what the first thing I see is?  AN ELF.  AN ELF SLAVE.  I decide to bite him apart with no further ado.  Unfortunately, the local spearmaster is up at midnight (doing god knows what) and challenges me.  I kill the slave in two hits, and get ready to fight the spearmaster.  The elves thrown items are blocked, my shots miss or are blocked, and he stabs me in the leg.  Embedded.  Twists it around.  A lot.  I eventually bleed to death (maybe it's time I got it.  I did receive a so called "Mortal wound" from an elven bowman earlier, and I survived that).

Anyway, here's the annoying bit.  How do you think Amec became spearmaster?  BY KILLING 35 ELVES.  Why did he kill me?  FOR KILLING AN ELF.  Between us we had 121 elven kills, we could have been great together.  So why go nuts over one silly little elf?
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WorkerDrone

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #47 on: May 22, 2009, 04:47:37 pm »
A Elf hating Spearmaster who rides a Elf hating giant arachnid into battle?

Holy shit.
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zchris13

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #48 on: May 22, 2009, 05:09:50 pm »
Because you killed HIS elf.  BTW, what gender elf?
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IndonesiaWarMinister

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #49 on: May 23, 2009, 03:34:30 am »
Quote from: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 05:09:50 pm
Because you killed HIS elf.  BTW, what gender elf?

I see whut you did thar
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Leafsnail

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #50 on: May 23, 2009, 05:43:56 am »
Quote from: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 05:09:50 pm
Because you killed HIS elf.  BTW, what gender elf?
Can't remember.  Suffice to say, I was confused about what they were doing there in the middle of the night.

I've also learned that Arachnids are really weak against spears, and people who dodge stuff.  I'd just been gouging out elven eyes like there was no tomorrow, and only one "mortal" wound.
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zchris13

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #51 on: May 23, 2009, 11:35:38 am »
Quote from: IndonesiaWarMinister on May 23, 2009, 03:34:30 am
Quote from: zchris13 on May 22, 2009, 05:09:50 pm
Because you killed HIS elf.  BTW, what gender elf?
I see whut you did thar
You have nothing on me.
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piecewise

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #52 on: May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm »
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE
« Last Edit: May 23, 2009, 12:50:53 pm by piecewise »
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zchris13

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #53 on: May 23, 2009, 01:06:29 pm »
How about grizzly bears? Are they good for grizzly bears?
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piecewise

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #54 on: May 23, 2009, 01:28:45 pm »
They're terrible for bears, very stringy, whiney meat.

I really need to mod the ability to eat elf bodies, just to scare them.

You think the human mayors would look at me strange if I casually nibbled elf bones while I wandered around town?
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Yanlin

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #55 on: May 24, 2009, 01:53:58 pm »
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

They're good for porn.
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Elliott_Thinas

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #56 on: May 24, 2009, 03:45:56 pm »
Quote from: Yanlin on May 24, 2009, 01:53:58 pm
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

They're good for porn.

WHAT!?!
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Jackrabbit

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #57 on: May 24, 2009, 04:16:22 pm »
Quote from: Elliott_Thinas on May 24, 2009, 03:45:56 pm
Quote from: Yanlin on May 24, 2009, 01:53:58 pm
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

They're good for porn.

WHAT!?!

This is a masterpiece engraving of an elf and a tentacle demon. The tentacle demon is preforming a depraved act on the elf.
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piecewise

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #58 on: May 24, 2009, 06:20:35 pm »
Quote from: Jackrabbit on May 24, 2009, 04:16:22 pm
Quote from: Elliott_Thinas on May 24, 2009, 03:45:56 pm
Quote from: Yanlin on May 24, 2009, 01:53:58 pm
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

They're good for porn.

WHAT!?!

This is a masterpiece engraving of an elf and a tentacle demon. The tentacle demon is preforming a depraved act on the elf.

I didn't know these forts were built in japan
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IndonesiaWarMinister

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #59 on: May 25, 2009, 05:59:58 am »
Quote from: piecewise on May 24, 2009, 06:20:35 pm
Quote from: Jackrabbit on May 24, 2009, 04:16:22 pm
Quote from: Elliott_Thinas on May 24, 2009, 03:45:56 pm
Quote from: Yanlin on May 24, 2009, 01:53:58 pm
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

They're good for porn.

WHAT!?!

This is a masterpiece engraving of an elf and a tentacle demon. The tentacle demon is preforming a depraved act on the elf.

I didn't know these forts were built in japan

Nippon delivers!

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=25436.0

Also.
Quote from: piecewise on May 23, 2009, 12:48:40 pm
Elves are good only for wrestling training or testing how sharp your blade is.

NOTHING ELSE

Quote
How sharp your blade is
Quote
YOUR BLADE

[\b]

Let me guess... To stab [in the UNHOLY part]?
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