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Author Topic: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards  (Read 8165 times)

Luraien

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2009, 05:13:25 pm »
Quote from: ArkDelgato on May 04, 2009, 04:51:15 pm
Quote from: Luraien on May 04, 2009, 11:45:51 am
You don't get rewards anyway, do you? I've done about 20 quests and so far they've called me a champion and sent me on my way. I mean, there's only so many times you can be called that without thinking they're being a little cheap.
Adventurer "I have slain the Skeletal titan!"
Druid "Thanks be to you, our champion!"
Adventurer "Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...?"
Druid "Well, we did have a scrape in 7 with a dragon, so that would be a good place to start."
Adventurer "And then my re-"
Druid "There is a rather belligerent minotaur around here. Knowing no remorse he stole our treasure!"
Adventurer "Fuck this"
The Elven Druid's head fly's off in a bloody arc!


Pretty much sums up adventurer mode for me now ;D
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Elliott_Thinas

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2009, 06:11:23 pm »
A helpful guard at a different city, after a short retirement, told my party to visit a capital far in the south, which I did. When I arrived there, I found this Retreat was also being evacuated and after leaving and returning, a guard there told me of a new Capital. Giving up, I visited the single remaining Dwarf fortress desperate for a quest. When I couldn't find either the mayor or the king, a violent rampage ensued. My champion took 5 steel bolts before falling to the ground. Goddamn elves.
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Quote from: Rowanas on August 04, 2009, 02:44:35 pm
I got me a breeding pair of Han Solos.

Vilien

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2009, 06:17:45 pm »
On occasion, I will start up an elf character and begin killing as many elves as I can in as many retreats as possible. I suggest this course of action to anyone facing similar problems.
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WorkerDrone

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2009, 08:17:30 pm »
Or you could just mod elves out of your game and replace them with a race you actually LIKE.

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LegoLord

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2009, 08:28:27 pm »
Quote from: WorkerDrone on May 04, 2009, 08:17:30 pm
Or you could just mod elves out of your game and replace them with a race you actually LIKE.
What, and be bored?
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Quote from: Vlynndar on April 02, 2009, 03:36:26 pm
"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Quote from: Vester on October 10, 2009, 10:10:11 pm
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

ousire

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2009, 08:44:16 pm »
Quote from: WorkerDrone on May 04, 2009, 08:17:30 pm
Or you could just mod elves out of your game and replace them with a race you actually LIKE.

then whats left to slaughter in such a carefree manor?
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ProfessorA

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #21 on: May 04, 2009, 09:17:23 pm »
Goblins?
Humans?
Dwarves?
Dwarf babies?

Theres never a shortage of things to slaughter in this game
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WorkerDrone

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #22 on: May 04, 2009, 09:23:45 pm »
Replace them with sentiant ants with extremely hard outter shells. Like, +2 damage reduction. And make 'em hostile and breed really fast. And have 500 per colony. And like anyplace that isn't cold.

Then go and fight 'em.
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Zaius

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #23 on: May 04, 2009, 10:50:59 pm »
modding them to have no arms could provide amusement. Maybe one leg and one hand.
Is an injured heart always fatal, even when there is more than one? Why not make an elf made entirely out of hearts...
...yes, that will do nicely...
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Keilden

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #24 on: May 05, 2009, 02:07:04 am »
Make the elfs have cats for hands!
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The Endcat will end you and everything you love.

Aspgren

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #25 on: May 05, 2009, 02:13:11 am »
Quote from: Keilden on May 05, 2009, 02:07:04 am
Make the elfs have cats for hands!

You punch the elf in the left cat.
It is broken!
The elves left cats right lower leg has been bruised!

Sounds fun. Now mod cats to have elves for paws.

You punch the elf in the left cat.
It is broken!
The elves left cats lower right elves right cats upper left elves eye has been blackened!
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Quote from: Deus Machina on May 22, 2011, 06:14:35 am
The crossbow squad, 'The Bolts of Fleeing' wouldn't even show up.
I have an art blog now.

WorkerDrone

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #26 on: May 05, 2009, 03:24:59 am »
You can't blacken an eye.

You can only HACK, STAB, SLASH, OR GOUGE IT OUT.

Also, that would get far to confusing far to fast.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #27 on: May 05, 2009, 05:34:08 am »
Quote from: WorkerDrone on May 05, 2009, 03:24:59 am
Also, that would get far to confusing far to fast.

It is therefore utterly dwarven.
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #28 on: May 05, 2009, 12:01:12 pm »
Quote from: WorkerDrone on May 05, 2009, 03:24:59 am
You can't blacken an eye.

You can only HACK, STAB, SLASH, OR GOUGE IT OUT.

Also, that would get far to confusing far to fast.
I beg to differ.
Blunt attacks can blacken eyes.
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Yanlin

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Re: I Want My Reward You Elven Bastards
« Reply #29 on: May 05, 2009, 12:45:27 pm »
I've blackened eyes with swords too. By hitting it somewhere else on the head.
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