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Author Topic: Swine Flu  (Read 2703 times)

Time Kitten

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Swine Flu
« on: April 30, 2009, 09:37:37 am »
Now that we have a stage five or whatever pandemic, I believe it is time to activate the dwarvern quarantine and sterilization procedures. So, folks, if you have any lethargic dwarves, best to separate them, our vice president recommends open spaces, so best do this under open air.

At this time I'd magma floor their living quarters and all their possessions to sterilize. Should any dwarves experience such symptoms of tantrum, hunger, thirst, respiratory damage, constant unconsciousness, nausia, vomiting, or being vomited upon, I propose immediate sterilization.

You can never be too safe.  Stop it before it spreads.
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Lord Dullard

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2009, 10:22:36 am »
You know, maybe I'm just getting a little over-skeptical these days, but these supposed 'pandemics' always make me *eyeroll* a little.. there are seven-billion or so people on this planet. Once a couple hundred million kick the bucket, then you can try to tell me it's a 'pandemic'...
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Time Kitten

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2009, 10:28:00 am »
pandemic is based on spread, not results.  Apparently it's been confirmed world wide so far, not that anyone cares since the common cold spreads faster and kills more people.  But the people in Geneva are saying we should implement our pandemic plans, and what better an excuse (besides something real?)
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Smew

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2009, 10:29:53 am »
WEll, concerning the flu itself, I'm expecting it to spread quite a ways across the US in the next few days.
As for the Dwarven flu, well, it's nothing a hot bath and some !!Pig Tail Sock!!'s can't fix.
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Leafsnail

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2009, 11:05:48 am »
Could be serious, but probably not humanity destroying stuff.  The important difference between it and bird flu is that it spreads from person to person (the swine flu actually has a couple of bird flu genes).
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alway

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2009, 12:36:53 pm »
Solution to Swine Flu:
Grates to magma pit installed under every bed with levers at the WHO attached to the grates. Then all they gotta do to stop the virus is to pull the level when symptoms show up!
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tp12

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2009, 01:44:49 pm »
Quote from: alway on April 30, 2009, 12:36:53 pm
Solution to Swine Flu:
Grates to magma pit installed under every bed with levers at the WHO attached to the grates. Then all they gotta do to stop the virus is to pull the level when symptoms show up!
God i feel Swinefluish... perhaps i should get some water... *gets out of bed and watches it disappear in the magma behind him* ... oooookay...
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Untill recently, before stocks ran out, it rained cats and dogs in my fortress...

salttotart

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2009, 02:09:23 pm »
While the swine flu may be a little blown out of proportion, pandemics are a serious thing.  The 1918 flu pandemic killed 2 million Americans, 750,000 of them in the month of October alone.
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Quote from: kinseti on April 09, 2009, 08:24:03 pm
If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
Quote from: dafinchy on April 23, 2009, 11:15:11 am
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Quote from: Untelligent on April 26, 2009, 01:55:39 pm
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

Time Kitten

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2009, 02:15:14 pm »
Quote from: tp12 on April 30, 2009, 01:44:49 pm
Quote from: alway on April 30, 2009, 12:36:53 pm
Solution to Swine Flu:
Grates to magma pit installed under every bed with levers at the WHO attached to the grates. Then all they gotta do to stop the virus is to pull the level when symptoms show up!
God i feel Swinefluish... perhaps i should get some water... *gets out of bed and watches it disappear in the magma behind him* ... oooookay...
Gasp!  You're getting your own water when you feel ill.  What sort of dwarf are you?
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timmeh

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2009, 02:35:26 pm »
Quote from: Time Kitten on April 30, 2009, 02:15:14 pm
Quote from: tp12 on April 30, 2009, 01:44:49 pm
Quote from: alway on April 30, 2009, 12:36:53 pm
Solution to Swine Flu:
Grates to magma pit installed under every bed with levers at the WHO attached to the grates. Then all they gotta do to stop the virus is to pull the level when symptoms show up!
God i feel Swinefluish... perhaps i should get some water... *gets out of bed and watches it disappear in the magma behind him* ... oooookay...
Gasp!  You're getting your own water when you feel ill.  What sort of dwarf are you?

He's obviously not feeling well, otherwise he'd bypass the water and find the nearest booze stockpile :P
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Quote from: hjd_uk on June 01, 2010, 05:30:58 am
On the Wall is a Masterfully engraved carving of Urist McHardcastle and Goblins. Urist McHardcastle is surrounded by the Goblins. The Golbins are stamping on Urist McHardcastle. Urist McHardcaste is laughing at the Goblins. The carving related to the prolonged and bloody death of Urist McHardcastle in the Fall of 1659, the Winter of 1659, and the Spring of 1660. On the engraving is an image of Cheese.

Retales

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2009, 02:40:18 pm »
Dwarves should be worried only when there's an outbreak of kitten flu
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Quote from: roundedge link=topic=27527.msg362681#msg362681
And so, little dwarfling if to mayor you rise
never forget to heed this advice
when it's items outdoors, no matter how small
remember remember to forbid them all.
GENERATION 31:
The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Albedo

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2009, 02:53:59 pm »
When it jumps to several world cities the same week it starts killing people, that's not a bad time to take precautions.

Just don't embark in Mexico for a while, you'll be fine.
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2009, 03:38:02 pm »
There are no pigs in DF.
Just in case you hadn't noticed.
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Quote from: Digital Hellhound on February 18, 2009, 10:50:43 am
...I keep searching for my family's raw files, for modding them.

pushy

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2009, 03:54:10 pm »
Quote from: Retales on April 30, 2009, 02:40:18 pm
Dwarves should be worried only when there's an outbreak of kitten flu
But they wouldn't live long enough to spread a disease :-\
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Quote from: Tim Edwards, PC Gamer UK
There are three things I know about dwarves:
1. They've got beards. Even the women.
2. They're short. Especially the women.
3. They're Scottish.

Smew

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Re: Swine Flu
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2009, 06:56:22 pm »
Quote from: Maggarg - Eater of chicke on April 30, 2009, 03:38:02 pm
There are no pigs in DF.
Just in case you hadn't noticed.
I thought VERY deeply about fixing this after Toady's last interview.
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