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[Ultimuh]

Dwarven Cheese Stew
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Ingredients
1 Dwarf
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A'right.  First, take yer dwarf.  Hang 'im upside down.
Now, yer gonna milk yer dwarf.  This can be the tricky part.  Yer gonna wanna make sure th' buckit doesn' get caught in the beard.
Once ya have a full buckit (FULL buckit!  Take that one back and do it again.) ya let it sit for 3 weeks.
Now, smash the leftovers into a pan.  With a good solid smashing motion.  If ya don' smash it solid now, it ain't gonna work right.  None o' this squashing or thudding, got it?
Take the pan, cook it.
Eat.

And don' forget to let the dwarf down after yer done milking

Dude, did you do that on purpose or am I the only one who thinks that's rather... gross?

There's a quote on the wiki that says: "If cow cheese comes from cow's milk, then what does dwarf cheese come from?"
Personally, I thought it somewhat gross, too.  But it's still better than milking maggots, isn't it?

Actually I prefer maggots over the dwarves XD

Elves would prefer Dwarves. Or Humans.. Or Goblins.. Or Demons..

[Dakk]

And possibly other elves.

Hellish Elven Meal
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Ingredients
1 Demon (no spirits of fire, ther bad fer yer health)
1 Wooden arrow
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Now, first ye gonna look 'round till ye find sum o' those phallic black towers.
Walk 'round a bit, till ye find some o' thoz stinkin gobbo hoarders.
Once ye find the bastard, make sure ther be no gobbos 'round, unless ye want to end yer life as a sheesh kebab.
Now's the tricky part, yer gonna have to headshot the bastard between his stinkin eyes.
Put the kill in yer backpack, noone will notice yer carrying a size 15 demon on yer pig tail backpack, alternatively, ye can use yer waterskin.
Call family and friends.
Eat.

Ye might even get yer name written in history!



OMNOMNOMNOM

[Creamcorn]

The Heart Stopper
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Ingredients
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Tallow, any type o'y so'uarece is fine, oa'slong a'is it ain't fire imp

First ye grab yeor h'ammer, iro'in ois good fer dis deish I u'se my self an Adamantine ammer.

With youi h'ammer you m'oiund uo yer tallow ointo a flat face, n'eixt you grab yo'u rolleing pin an turn yo'ui paste ointo so'imething like breead dough.

Maeak i'et into a b'eig ba'all toi'ss int'oi yer ove'en wa'it a few seconds. AN URISTALL! Yo'is done!

[Vilien]

The Grand Vizier's Smash 'Em Up Sand Basket Sandwich
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Ingredients:
- Giant Cave Spider Silk, three strands
- Fire, one gallon
- +Iron Arrows+[25]
- Dragon blood, one gallon
- Sunshine, hogshead
- Goblin bones, six pounds (ground)
- Cats
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Instructions:
Do not question the Smash 'Em Up.