Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 308 309 [310] 311 312 ... 370

Author Topic: Atheists  (Read 391778 times)

kuro_suna

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4635 on: September 30, 2010, 06:08:12 pm »

Then the moral of the story is to read Peter's Evil Overlord List carefully

Quote
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
Logged

BigJake

  • Bay Watcher
  • Know-it-all and bragart
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4636 on: September 30, 2010, 06:09:38 pm »

They're awesome in Total War, too. Europa Barborarum mod, get control of the Balearic Islands and Rhodes and you have the most powerful armour-piercing force in the game.

Of course, they're only economical if you're actually fighting heavy infantry or cavalry. If you decide to invade Britain with them supporting an elite heavy infantry army, you're screwed. Turns out when your enemy are raging semi-naked barbarians, plain arrows work best.

I most definitely did not invade Britain as Carthage with an extremely expensive heavy infantry army. That would have been silly.

HOLY SHIT!
Someone else that plays EB!
Logged

Ampersand

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4637 on: September 30, 2010, 06:28:54 pm »

I play EB...

I've won several battles without losing more than a handful of men thanks to a combination of slingers and Cretan archers. Hundreds of stones raining on you fast enough to crack your skull through a steel helmet, combined with super accurate fire arrow volleys, finished with a heavy calvary charge. Works every time.
Logged
!!&!!

BigJake

  • Bay Watcher
  • Know-it-all and bragart
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4638 on: September 30, 2010, 06:35:24 pm »

(Sorry for derail, btw)
Sorry, I just don't come across any people outside of the EB forums that actually play it.  I'm a history nerd; that game is pornography to me.

I have to limit myself to max 1 regiment of baelerics or kretans otherwise the other army just melts and my heavy infantry never even get a chance to engage.  Same with drapanai, more than 3-4 is just cheating.
Logged

Shade-o

  • Bay Watcher
  • It's my greatest creation yet!
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4639 on: September 30, 2010, 06:35:52 pm »

I loved Karthadastim, though it is easymode. My greatest challenge was grinding through the Ptolemaioi horde. There were just. So. Many. They had already conquered the entire Seleukid empire, so my conquering Egypt simply meant closing one front and opening another, bigger one. While getting further away from my home base.

Ultimately I had one awesome general who conquered half their empire. He grew up in Lepki, which was under near-constant attack by them, and had to defend it with whatever troops I could spare from my Italy, Britain and Iberia campaigns. Once I had secured my other borders, I was able to throw an entire army behind him. He even became my faction leader.

The drive through the desert was glorious. Battle after battle left thousands dead, and my elite army drove all before them. I conquered all the Lower Nile, but did not have enough troops to drive back the growing horde while conquering the Upper Nile. I basically left a few dribs and drabs behind to contest Maroe, Axum and Therom, but even supported by local conscripts they were barely able to break even.

Meanwhile, my star general was sweeping through Palestine, while I launched amphibious assaults along the coast of Asia Minor using cheap Greek locals as expendable shock infantry. My plan worked. I captured Side, Tarsos and Halikarnassos, using Rhodos and Kypros as bases.  By dividing the enemy, I was able to swiftly conquer everything from Sinai to Syria, losing nothing more than some Greek goons.

At this point, I was at a crossroads. The rich and valuable lands of Asia Minor lay open, cut off from the heart of the empire in Persia. Yet chasing one would leave the other to attack from behind, potentially destroying my precious army and leaving everything up to Alexandria vulnerable. I decided to send my champion after Asia Minor, and sent a raw, untested jerk with questionable attributes on a semi-suicidal mission to Babylon. His mission was to capture as many cities as possible, destroy as many troops, and stall the advancing armies long enough for Asia Minor to be conquered.

And that he did. The line of battle stretched along the continent, from Charax to Karkathiokerta, and though the losses were terrible and cities burned like torches, it was held. My champion general crushed all opposition he faced, even facing off the Hellenes and Makedons when they got in his way.

In the end, he conquered Ipsos, the last free city. He passed away that year, partying like mad in the realm he conquered. I might have a combined screenshot of his stats somewhere.
Logged
Apparently having a redundant creature entry causes the game to say, "Oh, look, it's crazy world now. Nothing makes sense! Alligators live in houses!"

MaximumZero

  • Bay Watcher
  • Stare into the abyss.
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4640 on: September 30, 2010, 06:38:30 pm »

I may have to start playing this game.
Logged
  
Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Ampersand

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4641 on: September 30, 2010, 06:39:12 pm »

This thread is now about Rome: Total War: Europa Barbarorum.

It will be much more productive than that other thread.
Logged
!!&!!

eerr

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4642 on: September 30, 2010, 06:49:44 pm »

Incidentally, the story of David and Goliath is annoying me. What is exceptional or inspiring about it? A sling is a deadly weapon of war, capable of crushing bones, shattering armour and piercing organs. Goliath being killed from having his skull caved in is no more notable than 'Man With Sword Stabs, Kills Man Without Sword'.

He was probably just a tall Nordic man.

So it's vaguely racist or something.

My Bible in History teacher actually theorizes that the Arc of the Covenant was a radiological weapon, and that's why Goliath was so absurdly large, due to the Arc ravaging Goliath's hometown some thirty years earlier, when he would have been in the womb.
Oozing radiation like genuine plutonium a radiological weapon does not make.
The electric charge caused by touching the surface is also easily explained this way.



For a comment that is quite a bit older,
I proudly proclaim my belief in the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
I logically know that it is invisible, because I cannot see it, but I also have faith that it is pink.
 ;)

Pink/grey unicorns are called rhinos.
Well, if you aren't talking about unicorns in a work of fiction anyway.

They coudn't be put on Noah's arc because they were all in Africa. None of the rest were nearby.

(don't ask why they are pink, it's a complicated sunscreen-like fluid
But yes, there are rhinos covered in a very significant amount of pink.)
Logged

Shade-o

  • Bay Watcher
  • It's my greatest creation yet!
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4643 on: September 30, 2010, 07:11:54 pm »

Well, it seems that it may have been lost to the sands of time. I have an idea of where to look further, but we'll see.

I distinctly remember his name being something like Abdemikal, though he had a long surname. As for traits, he was smart, charismatic and vigorous, and optimistic, selfless, and loyal. He loved to party and drink, loved women, loved fighting, mastered every form of combat, and I think he got the Spear of Achilles. He personally reconquered Phoinike. He was just all-round awesome. He died of in the town he conquered, presumably after partying for six months.

His total traits were really, really huge. I had to splice them together from many, many pages.



Fun fact: During my drive through Palestine, the enemy recruited a lot of local soldiers to supplement the standard phalanx. In particular, were the Iudaioi Taxeis (Jewish Spearmen). They were incredibly annoying. My strategy had been to use superior mobility to outmanoeuvre the phalanx, and being able to easily wipe away the supporting light infantry that would prevent me from doing that.

But not this time. Iudaioi Taxeis! Fast enough to avoid being outmanoeuvred, resilient enough to bog down my infantry, spears that impale my cavalry, and shields and armour that make most of my ranged attacks impotent. Iudaioi Taxeis! Countering my very army! Forcing me into difficult battles! Threatening my very campaign!

First and last time that I have ever hated Iudaioi. I'm not proud of it.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2010, 07:26:26 pm by Shade-o »
Logged
Apparently having a redundant creature entry causes the game to say, "Oh, look, it's crazy world now. Nothing makes sense! Alligators live in houses!"

Sergius

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4644 on: September 30, 2010, 08:54:53 pm »

Well, it seems that it may have been lost to the sands of time. I have an idea of where to look further, but we'll see.

I distinctly remember his name being something like Abdemikal, though he had a long surname. As for traits, he was smart, charismatic and vigorous, and optimistic, selfless, and loyal. He loved to party and drink, loved women, loved fighting, mastered every form of combat...

He needed alcohol to get through the working day...
Logged

ChairmanPoo

  • Bay Watcher
  • Send in the clowns
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4645 on: September 30, 2010, 09:06:12 pm »

My Bible in History teacher actually theorizes that the Arc of the Covenant was a radiological weapon, and that's why Goliath was so absurdly large, due to the Arc ravaging Goliath's hometown some thirty years earlier, when he would have been in the womb.


Spoiler: "Artist Depiction" (click to show/hide)
Logged
Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

BigJake

  • Bay Watcher
  • Know-it-all and bragart
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4646 on: September 30, 2010, 09:10:48 pm »

That sounds epic.  :)

I never had the patience for the meatgrinder that is Palestine.  You're definately right about the Jews, very effective; skirmishers shouldn't be able to wear that leather armor, it's not fair!  I have real trouble just holding something down there--although the Jews help here, amazing garrison troops.  It's an absolute bear to crank out enough Drapanai to deal with all that armor and just forget it if I'm Sauromatae.  The limbs fall like rain but those guys aren't even wearing shirts!  Much easier to sweep across the Pannonian Plain into Illyria then grind Rome and Athens to dust.

I try to play nations other than the Getai, i really do.  Never lasts, though.

« Last Edit: September 30, 2010, 09:14:54 pm by BigJake »
Logged

Shade-o

  • Bay Watcher
  • It's my greatest creation yet!
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4647 on: September 30, 2010, 09:15:30 pm »

My Bible in History teacher actually theorizes that the Arc of the Covenant was a radiological weapon, and that's why Goliath was so absurdly large, due to the Arc ravaging Goliath's hometown some thirty years earlier, when he would have been in the womb.

I was thinking more

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Apparently having a redundant creature entry causes the game to say, "Oh, look, it's crazy world now. Nothing makes sense! Alligators live in houses!"

Vertigon

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4648 on: September 30, 2010, 09:20:36 pm »

I just hate the bible-thumping jerks that look down on and beat down atheists all the time "in the name of the Lord'.

I've read the Bible because it is an interesting piece of literature, not because I believe anything it says, and the people I know that DO believe what it says are clearly doin it rong.
Logged

Shade-o

  • Bay Watcher
  • It's my greatest creation yet!
    • View Profile
Re: Atheists
« Reply #4649 on: September 30, 2010, 09:22:08 pm »

I really enjoyed playing as Sweboz, too. Something about a massive horde of club-wielding shirtless alcoholic Norsemen made it worth it.

But I could never figure out a way to defeat horse-archers like the Sauromatae. Sweboz have poor archers and even worse cavalry (BATTLE-PONIES HOOOO!), and their infantry is based in skill, not armour (THEY DON'T EVEN WEAR SHIRTS) that arrows are stupidly lethal.

I just... couldn't beat them.
Logged
Apparently having a redundant creature entry causes the game to say, "Oh, look, it's crazy world now. Nothing makes sense! Alligators live in houses!"
Pages: 1 ... 308 309 [310] 311 312 ... 370