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[blue emu]

I've hollowed out a room under my Trade Depot, and I've been stacking up blocks of Pitchblende and Graphite in alternating rows... but it doesn't seem to be doing very much.

I have a few questions for the experts:

1) Why isn't my Heap working? Am I doing it wrong?

2) My Mason and some of the Haulers seem to be mutating a bit. Should I be worried? Should my Dwarves be worried?

3) As mentioned above, some of my Dwarves seem to be mutating. How do I build a radiation detector? Or is THAT my radiation detector?

4) How do I get my Wrestlers to grow tentacles? That would be awesome. If I could get the Heap working, I could just feed them radioactive waste. How do I make them eat it? Should I have left a 3x3 space in the middle for a Kitchen?

5) Should I apply more Magma? Would that actually help? If not, should I do it anyway?

Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[Vilien]

Your dwarves should not be mutating. If they are, apply retractable spikes liberally.

Yes, you should always apply more magma.

[Aethios]

Is this some kind of mod? I want Wrestlers with tentacles. =(

[Puck]

I've been stacking up blocks of Pitchblende and Graphite in alternating rows...

[Byakugan01]

Finely detailed engravings please, or it didn't happen. Anyway, try putting the pitchblende in a goblin blender designed to sort by weight. Take the stuff at the bottom-it'll be much heavier-and then put it with the graphite. But then, why bother with the graphite? That's a safety feature used in reactors. Why the hell does the dwarven nuke have ANY safety devices at all?!? Who cares if it melts the room itself or gives SoF radiation poisoning? It'll be safe to mine by dwarven standards in a year or two anyway.

[Untelligent]

Yer problem here is that the Uranium present in Pitchblende doesn't have enough of the U-235 isotope in its natural state to be feasible for this sort of thing.

Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

[RedWarrior0]

You are lacking a way to drop the bomb on an elven forest retreat, much less detonate it.

[Byakugan01]

Dude, this is a DWARVEN nuke. You don't detonate it over an elf forest; you detonate it in the heart of your fortress, right next to where the nursery is. That's the only way for tantrum spirals "fun" to ensue.

[salttotart]

Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

And that sir is getting sigged.

[blue emu]

You are lacking a way to drop the bomb on an elven forest retreat...

I caught a Giant Eagle in a cage trap... will that help?

[RAM]

You need a breeding pair, then you periodically irradiate a flock and then send them chasing a migratory flock heading to elven lands. It lacks the pleasant mushroom cloud effect, but it should stop the elven horde from overwhelming everyone...

[Awayfarer]

You're about four weeks too late for April Fool's Day.

[sunshaker]

You need to refine that pitchblend it isn't concentrated enough (bonus points for boiling U-235), also heavy water may help.

[Jim Groovester]

You need to pour neutron lizard extract over your pile of graphite and pitchblende. That will get it to start working. Too bad the traders will only take minor bruises and burns from the pile.

It's better to submerse all of it in water, which will cause steam. All you need to do is pressurize this steam back into water and route it through a bunch of waterwheels for more power than you could possibly know what to do with.

[Byakugan01]

You need to pour neutron lizard extract over your pile of graphite and pitchblende. That will get it to start working. Too bad the traders will only take minor bruises and burns from the pile.

It's better to submerse all of it in water, which will cause steam. All you need to do is pressurize this steam back into water and route it through a bunch of waterwheels for more power than you could possibly know what to do with.

Three Words: Dwarven Death Ray