We have come together today to mourn for my old handlebars. I'd like to thank everybody who showed up, now let's hang our heads in grief and bid them farewell, the way they deserve.
Their aluminum was weary and began to weaken
and they knew their time had come,
after ten years of serving me well
and fulfilling their duty to their best ability.
So my handlebars sacrificed themselves today
when I bailed after a snafu'd bunnyhop over a rail
so I would not have to suffer from grave injuries
upon the next major drop
that was bound to happen sooner or later.
I shed a tear for my beloved handlebars.
Now I dont get to feel their perfect shape,
their soft bend that caressed my wrists whenever
great forces needed to be absorbed,
especially after I ditched the suspension fork.
Like so many times in life
we only understand how amazingly we have been blessed
after we lost what had been so precious to us.
There was never a time that I could not trust them
or that they would not lift my bike up in the air
when I pulled them hard enough.
Some of you may not have known my handlebars the way that I did,
but for those who did not get to know them:
In your face! Those were MINE!
Farewell, and may you be a part of god's heavenly dirtbike
as long as you please. I have to try and replace you,
but it will take me a long time until I can love again.
Ride hard, but party harder, up there.