The last great battle of La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo starts off swimmingly. I sink an English Privateer in harbor, then lose a Frigate to the Dutch, before damaging theirs in turn and stealing a bunch of stuff.
The Dutch put up a surprisingly solid fight. The English - not so much.
What a hole. But now it's my hole.
I almost feel sorry giving a proud Dwarven name to such a shitty town.
And that's the final remnant of the Dutch. Even got three trained soldiers who lost all their guns.
The English fleet (all one corvette of it) remains a pain in the ass, until slapped home again.
Proving my theories about cheating AI, I've seen a Dutch Pioneer emerge from an empty Galleon.
The consolidated remnants of my conquering armies, crossing the straits to Plymouth. Though small, Plymouth is guarded by the only foreign artillery I've yet seen. Men will die.
George Washington was famous for losing almost every horse he rode into battle, for often returning with new holes in his coat but no wounds, was nicknamed "Devourer of Villages" by the Iroquois, and once said "there is something charming to the sound of bullets." Total badass.
Aside from Jan de Witt and Paul Revere, I'm spoiled for choices this time.
The dangerously sensible Thomas Paine gives a bonus to Bell production equal to the tax rate.
William Brewster eliminates Criminals and Servants from immigrating.
Ferdinand Magellan makes ships move faster, and decreases the travel time over the Pacific.
I was going to hold another vote, but I decided the Magellan is by far the most rational. Paine is cool, but my tax rate has yet to break 20%, and has been hovering around zero. Brewster is useful early on, but I've hired/attracted so many people that no one immigrates on their own anymore, and I've got colleges.
Now then, on with the conquest!
Oh the horrors of industrial war. Honestly, if this doesn't work, I think I'm fucked.
Luckily, the law of averages once again fails the computer. Lost a lot of horses though.
Because why wouldn't I, really? What could I possibly do with all these trade goods?
My breakfast (or dinner, being the middle of the night for me), and my incredibly filthy monitor.
Autumn of 1666 - Know this time well my friends. The Age of Empires has ended.
The Age of Nonsense has begun.