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[Aqizzar]

Because Let's Plays are the new Roll To Dodge, I'm doing an LP of Colonization.



No, not that Colonization, this one...



Sid Meier's Sid Meier's Colonization by Sid Meier

Made all the way back in 1994, Colonization was another 4X game in the mold of Civilization.  It came out right after Civ, and shares a lot of gameplay elements.  Just as many differences though.  To save time, I'll go over gameplay elements as they come up.  The most important is the scale and goal.  You take the roll of one of four colonial powers settling the New World, sending goods back to Europe, fighting off or trading with Indians and other colonists, until eventually you've got enough money and irate people to declare your independence and get your ass kicked by the Colonial Marines.

First, I need to make some choices, like the gameworld.  Colonization has the option of starting on a meticulous recreation of North and South America, but I think going in knowing the map takes away some of the 4X charm.  And gross historical revisionism is fun.  If you've played even one Sid Meier game, you know the drill.  How much land compared to water, islands or continents, hot or cold, wet or dry.

Then there's the four nations.  Each nation has a special ability that helps it over time.  Each also starts with some stuff - two colonists and a boat.  One colonist has a supply of tools, which are used to make tile improvements (roads and farms).  The other colonist carries a load of guns, making him a soldier.  The boat is a caravel, a shitty tub that carries two people or loads of goods.  So here's how the nations break down-


FRANCE - Tutorial Pussies

The French are a good side for new players or traders, because they get along better with the Indians.

Spoiler: Explanation about Indian relations (click to show/hide)

There are a half dozen Indian nations scattered around that you have to deal with.  Indians can be traded with, but you never really know what they want.  More importantly, your presence raises 'Alarm' among Indians, based on your population, industry, and number of soldiers.  As Indians get more alarmed, they stop giving you gifts or trading, and start sending raiding parties to massacre your towns.

The French only cause half as much alarm as the other nations.

One of the French colonists starts as a skilled pioneer, who makes tile improvements at a much faster rate.  My take: I like playing the French, because the Indians get damn annoying by the mid-game, but it's not a big deal.


SPAIN - Run To The Hills

The Spanish, true to form, are better at kicking the Indians around, and nothing else.

Spoiler: Explanation about whomping on Indians (click to show/hide)

Each Indian nation has anywhere from one to a couple dozen towns, but they never build new ones.  Attacking them is problematic, because towns can generate units almost every turn.  But if you manage to conquer a town, you might get an load of Treasure.  Capitalized for a reason - Treasure is a unit, that you have to get back to Europe to cash in.  This requires either a Galleon (more on that later), or paying a big fee for someone else to do it.

At any rate, the Spanish receive a combat bonus when attacking Indian towns.

Instead of a pressganged colonist, the Spanish start with a Veteran soldier, who obviously fights better.  My take: Fighting the Indians at their homes is a huge pain in the ass, and all that really matters is whether you have overwhelming numbers.  I can't say that with certainty because I haven't tried the warmongering path much, but that observation is why.


NETHERLANDS - All About The Benjamins

Independence is overrated when you've got cash and weedopium.  To represent their mercantile history, the Dutch have a stronger trading network.

Spoiler: Explanation about market prices (click to show/hide)

Most money, especially early on, is made by carrying resources and trade goods back to Europe for sale.  The sale prices fluctuate over time - partly random, partly in response to trade by you and the AIs.  In particular, if you dump a whole load of one resource, it'll crash the market price, and you'll have to wait for it to go back up.

When a Dutch player dumps loads of stuff on the market, it doesn't crash as bad, and recovers faster.  In my experience, it hardly crashes or even moves at all.

Going Dutch gets you a Merchantman to start instead of a caravel.  The Merchantman is faster, stronger, and carries twice as much cargo.  My take: Making money is the building block of everything else, so I love having invincible markets and a great ship.  The first time you drop a load of silver on the market and watch the price drop from 19 to 4, you'll start going Dutch too.


ENGLAND - Breed Like Catholics

America was the bastard child of English prisoner dumping and civil wars.  Consequently, the English player attracts more immigration.

Spoiler: Explanation about immigrants (click to show/hide)

Building and staffing churches generates 'crosses', representing... uh... religious tolerance?  I dunno really, but it's the same old line about people leaving for America for religious freedom.  Whatever.  Crosses fill up a meter that gets larger over time, and when it's full you get a free immigrant.  Why is that important?  Because the biggest difference in Colonization - no natural population growth.  You have to attract or hire everyone.  Turns out, if you can stockpile 200 units of food in a town, it will generate another colonist.  But that's not easy or fast.

England's religious meter fills up 50% faster (i.e. requires 2/3 as many crosses).

The English don't get any starting bonus over the normal boat and people.  Stingy Brits.  My take: You always want more colonists, and England gets really strong by the endgame.


You also choose a difficulty level of course, but since the game was made in 1994, it's pretty limited.  Like every Sid Meier game, difficulty is less a matter of making the AI smarter (which would be impossible) and more about making the AI belligerent and giving it material bonuses.

So, what should America look like, and which flag should I fly?

New Various Nonsense, Our Glorious and Independent Land

Spoiler: State of the NATION, Spring of 1718, the end of the Revolution (click to show/hide)

Map of the Free World


Cities and Settlements

Bay 12 - Population: 7 - Capitol
Industries: Administration, Education

Chincinnati - Population: 10
Industries: Tobacconeering, Distilling

Boatmurdered - Population: 13
Industries: Iron Mining, Tooling, Gunsmithing

Re: - - Population: 9
Industries: Textiles

Atheists - Population: 8
Industries: Administration, Ranching, Military Academy

Feeeeep - Population: 11
Industries: Coat Making, Shipping

Loknar - Population: 4
Industries: Silver Mining

Catfortress - Population: 8
Industries: Silver Mining, Sugar Planting

Pocomoke - Population: 6
Industries: Iron Mining, Lumberjacking

Roll To Dodge - Population: 5
Industries: Forgotten

The Eternal Halls - Population: 14
Industries: Tooling, Distilling

Land of Winds - Population: 5
Industries: Ranching

Bloodanus - Population: 4
Industries: Forgotten

Mountainbanners - Population: 15
Industries: Administration, Ranching, Gunsmithing

Copperblazes - Population: 8
Industries: Textiles, Tooling, Ranching

Towerrapes - Population: 10
Industries: Administration, Ranching, Shipping

Tinbolt - Population: 8
Industries: Tooling, Ranching

Nist Akath - Populaton: 9
Industries: Last Redoubt

Insanity - Population: 7
Industries: Last Redoubt

Tombcities - Population: 6
Industries: Last Redoubt

Pagebend - Population: 14
Industries: Construction, Ranching

Zombietown - Population: 7
Industries: Forgotten

Reinhammers - Population: 12
Industries: Forgotten

Flarechannel - Population: 12
Industries: Administration, Gunsmithing, Military Academy

Orbinches - Population: 9
Industries: Textiles, Construction, Ranching

Sedil Zalis - Population: 6
Industries: Forgotten

We need a slogan! - Population: 7
Industries: Forgotten

BEES - Population: 12
Industries: Last Redoubt

Economic Affairs

Coffers Hold 64178 Pesos, 24% Tax Rate
European Coat and Silver Markets Crashed

The Nonsensical Military

110? Dragoons (82 Veterans), 30? Artillery Pieces

3 Dedicated Pioneers

25? Frigates, 5? Privateers
4 Galleons, 4 Merchantmen
starting Caravel finally lost in 1670

Major Foes: The Royal Expeditionary Force of Spain NONE

Major Colonial Era Victories

Indian Villages Razed: 28
Apache Capitol and 4 Camps - The Great Slaughter of 1621
Cherokee Capitol and 1 Camp - The Slaughter of 1627, Cherokee Extinct
Arawak Capitol and 4 Camps - The French and Indian War, 1629-1638
Aztec Capitol and 10 Cities - The First Voyage of Gold, 1643-1658, Aztecs Extinct
Sioux Capitol and 3 Camps - Housekeeping, 1667-1669
Inca Capiton and 10 Cities - The Great March of Gold, 1676-1697, Incas Extinct
Sioux Extinct in 1716 - The Revolutionary War

Foreign Towns Conquered: 12
Fort Orange (Dutch), now Chincinnati - Skirmish of 1523
New Amsterdam (Dutch), now Atheists - The Horse War of 1625
New Holland (Dutch), now Feeeeep - The Horse War of 1625
Cayenne (French), now Land of Winds - The French and Indian War, 1629-1638
Quebec (French), now Mountainbanners - The French and Indian War, 1629-1638
Guadeloupe (French), now Copperblazes - The French and Indian War, 1629-1638
Montreal (French), now Towerrapes - The French and Indian War, 1629-1638
Providence (English), now Pagebend - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666
Fort Nassau (Dutch), now Reinhammers - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666
Jamestown (English), now Flarechannel - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666
Curacao (Dutch), now Orbinches - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666
Plymouth (English), now We need a slogan! - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666
Barbados (English), now BEES - La Conquista Final del Nuevo Mundo, 1660-1666

In 1672, the Dutch conceeded all holdings to the French, and have withdrawn.

Continental Congress Members
William Penn, Sieur de la Salle, Hernan Cortes, Francis Drake, Hernando de Soto, Peter Stuyvesant
Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Ferdinand Magellan, Simon Bolivar, Paul Revere, Adam Smith
Jan de Witt, Juan de Sepulveda, William Brewster, Thomas Paine, Jakob Fugger, John Paul Jones
Francisco Coronado, Peter Minuit, Benjamin Franklin, Bartolme de las Casas

Colonial Rebel Sentiment: 86%, 219 Sons of Liberty members, 36 loyal Tories

The legendary Fountain of Youth was found in 1645 in Arawak lands.

The Nonsensical War of Independence

The Declaration of Independence was signed and delivered in the Spring of 1706.

Autumn 1706 - Autumn 1707 - The Storming of Reinhammers
New VN loses city/garrison and 3 Frigates, Royals lose light regiment and 1 Man-o-War

Spring 1708 - Spring 1709 - Siege of We need a slogan!
New VN loses city/garrison and 2 Frigates, Royals lose light regiment and 2 Men-o-War

Autumn 1709 - Spring 1712 - Battle of the Windy Plains
New VN loses many horses and 2 Frigates, Royals lose five heavy regiments and 3 Men-o-War

Autumn 1712 - Spring 1713 - Siege of Copperblazes
New VN loses some horses, Royals lose heavy regiment

Autumn 1712 - Autumn 1713 - Second Battle of the Windy Plains
New VN loses some horses and 1 Frigate, Royals lose heavy regiment and 1 Man-o-War

Autumn 1713 - Spring 1714 - Skirmish on Copper Mountain
New VN loses 1 Frigate, Royals lose one heavy regiment

Spring 1714 - Autumn 1714 - Battle of the BEES
New VN loses light regiment, Royals lose last heavy reserve regiment

Spring 1714 - Spring 1716 - Reconquest of Reinhammer Isle
New VN loses light regiment and 1 Frigate, Royals lose multiple heavy regiments

Spring 1717 - The Reinhammer Contingency

August 1717 - The Catlands Uprising

Spring 1716 - Spring 1718 - Rescue of We need a slogan!
New VN loses light regiment and 1 Frigate, Royals lose multiple heavy regiments

Despite funding Royalist subversives, the King of Spain ceded all holdings in the New World to the independent republic of New Various Nonsense in the Autumn of 1718.  To Victory!

[Okenido]

Netherlands.
Hardest difficulty.
Cold.
Final Destination.

[Aqizzar]

I should have mentioned that I'm not really taking votes on difficulty.  If you all demand it, I'll play on the higher difficulties, but I've tried that an it's pretty broken.  I'll be going along with no indication of ire from my neighbors, then suddenly I'm under siege by dragoons around 1630.  I'd like to beat this damn game at least once, and that's why I'm doing this.

[Gantolandon]

Let's change history. Let every single person in the American continent speak FRENCH! Muahahahahahahahah!

[Gunner-Chan]

I'm for whatever causes the most horrific bloodshed.

[Little]

I vote France, Cold.

[cowofdoom78963]

Yes go for spain, their the most violent.

[Ultimuh]

I'm for whatever causes the most horrific bloodshed.

In that case.. we should be Spannish, and conquer all in our way!

[JoshuaFH]

Spain! Blood! Guns! Murder!

Murder the Indians!

[Squeegy]

Let's Play Sid Meier's Colonization

by Sid Meier, starring Sid Meier, with executive producer Sid Meier, lead actor Sid Meier, directed by Sid Meier, opening intro by Sid Meier, now with 100% more Sid Meier

[JoshuaFH]

Also, I blame Inaluct for the recent upward trend in LP's, if he hadn't neglected his Ball bullet gun LP, I wouldn't have thought to start my own, and when I started mine, Sniper Joe started his.

After that, Okenido started his, then Inaluct stole his idea and started another LP!

[WorkerDrone]

England.
Whatever, medium, hard, all the same.
Cold? OKAY.

[Pandarsenic]

England on Cold.

[Aqizzar]

Alright, I think that's enough lead time.  Let's get this historical non-recreation started!

Spoiler: for browser politeness. (click to show/hide)

Weirdly for something this old, Colonization runs in XP, thought it does crash a lot when starting a new game because of all the internal program switching.  But it won't let me take screenshots that way, so I'm using DOSBox.  I'm used to playing fullscreen, so I'm straining my eyes with this little envelope.



This was Sid Meier's publishing company before he made Firaxis.



There's this cool animation of a ship sailing to America that chugs like Hell in DOSBox.



Version 2.25 last compiled on September 15, 1994.  I can remember that year.  Christ I'm old.



Only got votes for COLD, so leaving the others on Moderate.



Difficulty levels are Discoverer < Explorer < Conquistador < Governor < Viceroy.  I'm going with Medium, for the reasons I explained, and because Conquistador is fitting...



...because I'm gonna Spanish this bitch up.  Vote was 3/2/2/1 when I started this.



Fuck yeah.  TinyPic is going to ban me for this, if I don't go mad first.



Crappy one page history essay with proto-hyperlinks and no sources.  C-
Your efforts will never come close to Hernan Cortes.



This pudgy, wall-eyed queer with a greyhound gives you your walking papers.  It's the same graphic for every nation.  Then you get another chugging video of your maiden voyage.


an Expedition led by the Great Conquistador Baron Aqizzar,
left Seville on a Voyage of Discovery
Commission and Blessed by the King of Spain,
to Explore the Ocean Sea,
to find Uncharted Lands,
and to Establish Colonies for the Greater Glory of Spain.
A Ship loaded with Pioneers and Soldiers
Set Sail to find a New Life, a New Beginning,...
A New World!



You start in open ocean, and get this when you find land.  Same with other important events.



Yes, a New World of soft core anime porn, copypasta, mandatory thread bumping, undemocratic ersatz governments, and endless meaningless roleplay wars.  Those Indians are screwed.



Jumped off the boat right into some Indians.  Oh boy, loincloths and maize here we come.



Apaches, a semi-nomadic tribe (not that they move around).  Probably war-like.



They have 11 towns, we have 2 guys.  We'll kill them later and smoke free weed now.



And this is where we are.  I already scouted the coast and reloaded, figuring I'd post a map and let y'all decided where to settle, but this is by far the best spot within several turns travel.  Rivers, game animals, fish, and no nearby settlements.  That golden face thing is a Lost City Rumor, the Sid Meier standard Dangerous Goodies bonus.  I'll check it out next turn.

It'll take a couple dozen turns to get anything really established here.  What do you guys want me to do in general?  And what should our first town be named?

[JoshuaFH]

First town's name?

Josh-topia

of course.