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Author Topic: To venture north, into Hell: Othtar Noloc, world at war  (Read 107746 times)

Jackrabbit

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #585 on: June 08, 2009, 03:18:27 am »

I'm going to be honest, the song wasn't very good. It was just a mishmash of dwarfen words that amounted to "cut the limbs off of these bastards". I can't remember what the words were, except that the first line was something like "hack, slash, tear!" It's all in the RAWs if you can be bothered.

Does anyone protest to me changing the title? I just want to remove the 'saga of the demon war' bit because that'll be taking a back seat for a while, plus Stephenie Meyer made the same mistake in Twilight and the fact that I could be compared to her in anyway is eating me up inside. And at the same time, does anyone know what I should change 'The saga of the demon war' to?
« Last Edit: June 08, 2009, 03:20:13 am by Jackrabbit »
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WorkerDrone

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #586 on: June 08, 2009, 03:22:33 am »

WorkerDrone's ballad; A summer in Granite amounts to a Bloodbath in Obsidian.

In all seriousness:

Tales of The Journey; The several misadventures of madmen.

Recounted by me of course. I'm the damn bard.

By the way, that reminds me, my character hasn't been telling tales or singing songs of battle at ALL in this story as of yet. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE.

Like my previous post. THAT'S A FUNNY STORY AND YOU KNOW IT. WorkerDrone can do shit. Can you do shit? Hell no. TELL HIS STORIES FROM PAST CAMPAIGNS.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #587 on: June 08, 2009, 03:24:29 am »

And you call me unsubtle.

That said, little side stories about characters is a good idea.
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WorkerDrone

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #588 on: June 08, 2009, 03:25:33 am »

I call you a sad, sad man with to much time on his hands.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #589 on: June 08, 2009, 03:27:08 am »

 ;D
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WorkerDrone

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #590 on: June 08, 2009, 03:50:36 am »

Walter was digging through Olon's chest, and before he got a fist in the gut and booted out of his tent, he found an excerpt from one of his old journals. The journal in question smelled oddly enough of vinegar.

Timber, 2215, Journal Entry 3252; The War to the East


I met her under the moon light, but she hadn't looked aside from the cabin at the time. I admit I expected more of her, but my old friend wasn't much for thinking. No, she had forgotten to bring my axes, or I would have gotten us out of this mess. She didn't want me to cut them down, but obviously me getting attacked by foul smelling jar throwers wasn't reason enough to just slay the lot of them. Never the less, you...

...nded badly and seemed to go on for hours. She looked mad enough to stick her sword right up my...

...en she said "what on SEA AND AIR are you doing with that-"...she never did finish that sentence without it being unintelligble. She was rather preoccupied as soon as my pants were dow-


The group sitting around the camp fire and watching Walter read the entry with great intensity were all spooked when WorkerDrone appeared behind Walter. Walter was still reading up to this point and didn't notice WorkerDrone and the log lifted high over his head. Needless to say WorkerDrone grabbed the entry off the ground after thumping Walter hard over the head. The others looked in WorkerDrone's direction wondering just who that girl was, and where the hell they could find her.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #591 on: June 08, 2009, 03:53:09 am »

Wait, what? Considering Olon's old home has been purged by greenskins, we aren't going to be seeing that girl any time soon.

EDIT: That said, maybe... Just no oral sex. Sorry. No, no! Back away, awaaaaaaay!
« Last Edit: June 08, 2009, 03:55:06 am by Jackrabbit »
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TheNewerMartianEmperor

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #592 on: June 08, 2009, 03:55:30 am »

Oldbeard's journal: Bah, that was anticlimactic. Used to be that it took an armok-damned moon dropping of one of the buggers to kill 'em. Nowadays they fall to a mere shard of superheated metal smacking them in the chest.... Heh, that reminds me of the time when I killed the vampire lord known only as 'nighstalkmer' or sommat (what's with all these undead fellers havin' names like 'Vlad' and titles like 'lord of terror' anyways? Just once I'd like to fight a dark undead lord called Bob) The year was -53 and I was part of Okir Company. We were heading towards the fortress of
Emin-Umid. Taking a detour through the pass of ages in the process because the other route was currently home to elves. We'd known that he built his castle in the pass, what we didn't know was that it was so big that it was impossible to go around it. So me and the boys were camped up on a ridge, looking at the monolithic entrance and trying to think of a plan when.......
« Last Edit: June 08, 2009, 03:58:45 am by TheNewerMartianEmperor »
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Once tried to conquer Earth, and succeeded! Too bad it got really, really boring, really, really fast.

One day, we shall all look back on this, and laugh. Sorry about the face, by the way, and the legs, and the eyes, and the arms. In fact, sorry 'bout the whole body.

WorkerDrone

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The saga of the demon war
« Reply #593 on: June 08, 2009, 04:00:10 am »

EDIT: That said, maybe... Just no oral sex. Sorry. No, no! Back away, awaaaaaaay!

This is as obscure as it is funny. I approve.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #594 on: June 08, 2009, 04:14:51 am »

The new name is a placeholder.
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TheNewerMartianEmperor

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #595 on: June 08, 2009, 04:21:36 am »

Oldbeard talking to the group at the campfire after that: You ought to be ashamed! Why back in my day we had a little sommat called moral fiber I'll have you know (as he says this he surreptiously shifts his shoulder to conceal a whole bunch of brown-covered, slightly suspicious journals in his backpack) and we would never have done such things, and anyone who even thought about it would have been drawn and quartered he would! That is THE most disgusting thing I've ever had the misfortune to hear it is. Shame! SHAME! SHAME! Now get yer sorry hides into bed you little perverts. 
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Once tried to conquer Earth, and succeeded! Too bad it got really, really boring, really, really fast.

One day, we shall all look back on this, and laugh. Sorry about the face, by the way, and the legs, and the eyes, and the arms. In fact, sorry 'bout the whole body.

WorkerDrone

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #596 on: June 08, 2009, 05:08:33 am »

WorkerDrone consulting Ryan after the ordeal:

"I just don't understand. Everytime it happens, the girl ends up dead the next morning. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY." Ryan shifts uncomfortably wishing he was as far away from Olon as possible.
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Heron TSG

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #597 on: June 08, 2009, 07:43:22 am »

No C.R.A.B.S or armored bears, just this.

Spoiler: Noun (click to show/hide)
that
Spoiler: Verb (click to show/hide)


Tip for those that are lame -
     
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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CJ1145

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #598 on: June 08, 2009, 10:40:39 am »

Now that that's done with, I recommend for a title "The Recollections of Bjorn: The Journeys of Eli Eremo".

Also, I beg of you, have the lich come back! Make him some sort of Xykon-esque villain, the lich already reminds me of him.

Now then,

Kogan's Journal

I had plenty of time to read while the bastards took their jolly time in there. Got no damned idea why they sent Humaan. Don't care how well he works with, they're bloody undead! You don't need to work together, you just can't get bit! Regardless, I found one entry that intrigues me. I hope this character survived, so I may have a chance of slaying him later.

It's Winddimples' 25th anniversary today. Lasted a good while longer than I'd have thought. It's also an anniversary for my family as well. Me son, Kol just turned 13 today, and by our tradition, he will serve 5 years in the military, then be free to pursue his own profession. This was a double-edged sword personally, as today for the first time in 3 years we were besieged. We were not given any respite either. The goblin King, Gozru Cradleaxe led the attack personally.

For the first time in my life, and probably my last, I saw more than 80 goblins attack our fort. Probably dumb luck, though. I think they call opposing demons master, and just happened to attack at the same time. Regardless, 120 goblins stood outside the gates of winddimples, ready to fight.

Zon commanded the ballistae, and in the two volleys we fired over 40 died. The entire secondary siege was gone, leaving only Gozru and his men. I decided, against my fatherly instinct, that Kol should get some training in the ways of combat, and opened the gates. Our military of 60 Dwarves flooded out. We had created a small hill of sorts outside that old Gozru had neglected to garrison, and our marksdwarves climbed it and opened fire. Old Rorul got a dozen kills before a lucky bowmaster got him. Name was Stozu Bloodfire, I think. Nice name, gonna have to kill 'im meself, but then again maybe that pikemaster
(Oldd was already getting on in years by now, and had begun to ramble.)...but I digress. My squad of ten, now including Kol, of axedwarves charged the goblins. That bowmaster killed one of our number, old Urist Bowbait. We warned her it was a stupid name, but she refused to change it.

The battle took three days (It only felt like seconds, somehow.) but at the end, we had driven all off save one. I looked with pride only a father of a true warrior can know, as my son bested Gozru on his own. I think I might've cried a little. The greenskin bastard lost a toe, and ran off before the rest of 'is foot was gone too. 'Twas a great time indeed. Now we go to bury the dead; we lost four of our number this battle.


My father never told me about Gozru. I wonder what happened?
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This being Homestuck, I'm not sure whether that's post-scratch Rose or Vriska with a wig.

GruffyBears

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Re: To venture north, into Hell: The plight of Eli Eremo
« Reply #599 on: June 08, 2009, 10:42:59 am »

I really think we should take this one illogical beast at a time. Also, you're zombie whale needs a name.  "Fluffy" "Cuddlebunch" or "Sunshine" would do nicely.
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I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
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