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Nothing.

At all.

Seriously.

[Limul Thak]

Limul Thak's Journal

Phew, now that I've got some alcohol back in me, I can write. What's better, I've found this wierd gem thingy. It's like a kind of red, if red could get sick and die. Well, I'm using it right now to write this, and it's much faster than whacking the thing with my fingers! Apparently no one wanted this gem thingy, because one of the dwarves dropped it on the ground during the marching and didn't bother looking back. Either he was lazy, or he never though about using it as a stylus.

On another note (seeing as we've taken a breather, despite Oldbeard's complaints about us being lazy), I tried to get some naptha. Let's just say that it... didn't... quite... work. I may need to rest this leg for a while after that beating. Well, trees one, Limul zero.

On another note, seeing as Oldbeard just storied himself to sleep and not one of us dwarves is brave enough to wake him up, I was reading a family tablet and, to my horrible surprise, an elf was in it! I though this was a mistake, but I checked and, sure enough, my great-great-grandmother was a dirty, stinking elf ! This may explain my vocabulary...  I need a beer. Or wine. Or rum. Or grog. Or whiskey. Or gin. Or tonic. Or gin and tonic.

~LT

Limul is willing to give the gem back, especially after realizing that it was Oldbeard's, but he REALLY likes having a stylus for his journals. It lets him write longer journals and more of them.

[GruffyBears]

Ok, according to Wikipedia, naptha is derived from coal tar. Where'd WD find that?

Irrelevant, it also occurs in plants, and certain deer apparently.

[GruffyBears]

I'd like to thank Jackrabbit for giving this idea the thumbs-up.

Walter's journal,

As we've done nothing but march for the last few days, I've had plenty of time to think. I've been wondering about those goblin cannons and their magic fireballs. I've wondered how we can even the scores a little. I was struck by inspiration overnight. I've gathered what I need; A bit of metal piping, a few gears, a valve, a nozzle, and one of those slim whisky containers. I'm going to give Dalithsarek a real improvement.....

I'd like to say kudos to whoever figures it out, but I think it's been made obvious. 

[WorkerDrone]

Flameable liquid spewing gauntlet?

[GruffyBears]

Flameable liquid spewing gauntlet?

Precisely.

How many deer did you kill to get that much naptha?

[Jackrabbit]

Fridge logic at it's finest

[WorkerDrone]

My character was at a Still when it was mentioned he was working on 'something'.

I presume that WorkerDrone processed, instead of an insane amount of wildlife, AN EVEN INSANER AMOUNT OF PLANTS.

[Jackrabbit]

Still working on the last few pictures, uploadings slow, you know how it is. I just didn't expect people to be this interested! Look away! Look awaaaay!

Huh, hunting deer to fuel the gauntlet. Not a bad idea.

[GruffyBears]

My character was at a Still when it was mentioned he was working on 'something'.

I presume that WorkerDrone processed, instead of an insane amount of wildlife, AN EVEN INSANER AMOUNT OF PLANTS.

It appears in mangolias. 

I have the image of a rippling, raging madman, in golden armour,two axes slung across his back, picking flowers while his squadmates laugh at him. And them having to stifle that laughter every time he gave them the evil eye. 

[WorkerDrone]

When WorkerDrone goes through that kind of shit, that laughter better be stifled.

And when he happens to create a NUCLEAR FIRESTORM OF DEATH with those flowers, everybody shuts up.

Now just think what would happen if he had been experimenting with actual Uranium.

[GruffyBears]

When WorkerDrone goes through that kind of shit, that laughter better be stifled.

And when he happens to create a NUCLEAR FIRESTORM OF DEATH with those flowers, everybody shuts up.

Now just think what would happen if he had been experimenting with actual Uranium.

He'd probably bite a chunk off, chew it for a second or two, then spit it out saying "Bah! I've drank more poisonous Sewer Brew!" Then go off and pick more flowers.

[WorkerDrone]

Bah! I've had radiation poisoning worse than that!

Goes off to kill more GruffyBears.

[GruffyBears]

I just looked it up, and uranium has many uses!

Such as Uranium glass, for that coffee table you'll literally die for!

I think if WD did find some Uranium, (not that hard, it naturally occurs in pitchblende, which I'm nearly positive is in DF) it'd be mandatory for him to forge a suit of depleted-uranium armour. And maybe depleted uranium crossbow bolts.

It is questionable how useful radiation would be against demons, them being supernatural beings and such.
It would still be very awesome.

EDIT: Depleted uranium rounds have a high chance of spontaneous combustion when they strike a hard target. That, combined with Oldbeard's Pacemaker would result in rapid-firing, explosive rounds, basically a rocket barrage  .

But I apoligise for getting ahead of myself. Depleted uranium is unlikely in a medieval environment. And this is Jackrabbit's story, not mine.

[WorkerDrone]

Uh no...Its just Steel Plate with a few centimeters worth of Gold plates forged onto it.

Though a crossbow that fired depleted uranium bolts would be fucking AWESOME indeed.

[Jackrabbit]

HELL YEAH.

But, unfortunately, whilst I can tolerate and even enjoy crazy gloves that shoot flame, uranium is not going in.