Kogan's journal
WorkerDrone forgets his place. The glorified Ogre thinks that just because he's split a few goblin skulls, he's earned the title "The Hound of Hell." Bah! The name Urist McFodder carries more name in this day and age! I'd give him, say, 60 years on this plane, tops? That's a fraction my age, maybe. I lost count around the time we received news of Ironblood killing a hydra with his bare hands! Hell, even the elfs of old had more guts-to-gut (you'd think we'd lose these beer bellies with all the fightin' we do) ratio than he does:
"After our little rendevous with reinforcements, we were forced to leave the poor town of Shatterflowers to burn in the cursed elf fire. (I wonder if they summoned THAT from their trees, too!) But regardless, we pressed on. I had heard stories of a kobold cave not far from here. One of the bowmen we recruited claims to know koboldian, though I can't quite tell how, as the language itself seems to vary from individual to individual, let alone the different cities.
On the way there, we passed through a savanna. As we trekked onwards, we came across a disturbing sight: a dozen giant lions layed dead on the path, with their killers nowhere to be seen. A' course, we brought a former ranger for a reason.
'Elephants!' He shouted, and we all scattered. A damned herd of the Armok-damned things drove right through us. I leaped aside, far as these stubby legs can carry me...*The journal devolves into several pages of grumbling about how elfs were given long legs, but can't properly use them to get digging finished faster)... but I digress. That there elf, though, he was one of a kind. Armok smiled on that sumbitch today, 'cause he jumped right on that elephant matry... matrie... leader lady's face and put two arrers right through her skull. Brought the old bitch down, and sent the others fleeing.
Only time I'll ever see a sharpened pole be as effective as a steel rod."