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Nothing.

At all.

Seriously.

[Heron TSG]

now I'm a captain doomed to endless war

I wasn't too optimistic either.

[Jackrabbit]

now I'm a captain doomed to endless war

I wasn't too optimistic either.

Good to know. Also, bloodbeard, do you want a kid stricken by the death of his father, sworn to avenge him? 'Cause I can totally do that.

[Sir_Geo]

This is a damn fine story Jackrabbit.

[Jackrabbit]

Thank you  . You have inflated my ego that much more

I had an idea

List of people you can choose for coming chapters

• Military dwarf (You choose the profession)
• Noble (Won't have much story time, still important)
• Bad guy (very high probability of death. I'll make yours cool though)

Any more you can think of? I'm a bit stumped

[BloodBeard]

Good to know. Also, bloodbeard, do you want a kid stricken by the death of his father, sworn to avenge him? 'Cause I can totally do that.

Get out of my head!

I was thinking this very thing. How about Bardbeard, a swordsdwarf 

And who are you kidding with that comic? Like an elf would go into a bar 

[Heron TSG]

Well, PARTS of an elf could squeeze between the molecules of the wall.

[Jackrabbit]

Good to know. Also, bloodbeard, do you want a kid stricken by the death of his father, sworn to avenge him? 'Cause I can totally do that.

Get out of my head!

I was thinking this very thing. How about Bardbeard, a swordsdwarf 

And who are you kidding with that comic? Like an elf would go into a bar 

Cool, you're in. I'll start you off in one of my intermission stories I have planned, set within the main story universe, called Tales From the Frontline, which focuses on individual battles within the war.

[Jackrabbit]

20 miles north of the Mountainhomes, several months later

Barbarossa looked at the faces of his men, each recently trained and eager for combat. It had been arduous, these last few months. He had found himself forced to train vigorously, physically and mentally, to become a better soldier and more importantly, a leader. He was skilled with hammers and could shoot the wings off of a butterfly at 40 paces, thanks to the new cross training programme he had developed for new recruits, but now, leaning against a tree as the sound of laughter came from up ahead, he was nervous as hell. His scout had confirmed that the camp up ahead was a goblin one, the remnants of the raiding party that had attacked an elven retreat some days ago. There were two stripped elven corpses near the sight, and the goblins were heavily intoxicated. All the goblins carried swords and were gathered around the campfire, laughing. The smoke could be seen a mile off, the scout reporting that the goblins were cooking a horse.



Not for the first time, Barbarossa reflected on why he was here. Avenging elves? It was a first in living memory, but the recent attacks made by the emboldened goblins had forced the king to make peace with the elves, and ally with them for the first time in recorded history. The humans were already allies, but they lacked the metal working skill to be a threat to the goblins and at least the elves had access to magic, and highly trained scouts, much like the pathfinder Barbarossa had brought with him. He shook his head to clear it and turned to his men.
“Right lads, you know the plan. This shouldn’t be too hard, most of the goblins are off there tits on booze and some aren’t even awake. If someone gets injured, he can expect latrine duty for the next two weeks. Remember, I want at least one prisoner. Got it? Go.”
The men moved out silently, the elf staying behind, his duties done.



From where he was crouching, Barbarossa could smell the cooking horse and hear the goblins talking jovially. He looked over to the man hiding across from him and nodded. He stood up in synchronous with the man and fired, followed a split second later by the two men on the other side of the goblins.




All but one goblin was killed in the first volley. The last one was splattered with the blood of his friends, totally unable to comprehend what had just occurred. He stood up shakily and was immediately knocked over by Barbarossa, who butted him in the back of the head with his crossbow. He looked at his men.
“Tie the bastard up” he said. His men quickly obeyed. They then moved him out of the area, leaving him unconscious at the elven scouts feet. The men moved back to the killing zone and looked at the captain expectantly.
“Okay boys, get to work” commanded Barbarossa. His men moved immediately, dumping the goblins bodies onto the fire and throwing all the fuel they could find onto it.
“I hope the bastards get the message” chuckled one of Barbarossa’s men “They mess with the elves, they mess with us”
“Oh, spare us your bravado” replied Barbarossa, but he winked at the man and went back to work with a grin. After the bonfire was blazing nicely, with the goblins burning merrily on the top, they hauled the elven corpses back to there starting position, that they could be buried in a way appropriate to the elvses. Barbarossa didn’t know what that way was, probably something utterly poncy, but his duty was his duty.



Barbarossa turned to his men.
“Well done boys. Now, march!” The men groaned good-naturedly and fell into step behind Barbarossa, teeming with pride at what they had done. It was one of the opening manoeuvres in a planned guerrilla war expected to last for months.

It lasted longer.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Can I have a crossbowdwarf named OldBeard the Old? Armed of course with his newest invention, which he calls the repeating crossbow, no-one is sure why he calls it this, as it doesn't seem any different from a regular crossbow.

[Sir_Geo]

Could I be a villain? If I can then make him an elite gobo wrestler (that feeds on elves, if at all possible)

[Jackrabbit]

You're all in. I had trouble distinguishing you guys, so I gave oldbeard a beard and made bardbeard grey (He's still a swordsdwarf)

[Jackrabbit]

We once again interrupt this tale to bring you the most recent news from the front. As our brave boys and girls fight to repel the goblin menace, we tell their stories. Welcome to...

Tales from the frontlines
Battles fought by our brave lads during the demon war

Bardbeard looked around bitterly, drawing his shawl closer to better shield himself from the cold and the harsh sun. When he had been assigned to Lord Ignus’s 10th royal swords, he had expected to be fighting the bastard demons who had killed his father and slaughtering the goblins that had had the gall to declare war on the kingdom, not defending some pathetic little human town in the middle of nowhere. Apparently it was a “good faith gesture” on behalf of the king, sending troops to defend the human towns with little to no protection. And Barbbeard had to admit, they needed it. There were about six or so guards. Every other human living here was either a peasant or the mayor.
What a miserable place. he thought, staring out across the road into the distance. The road was the only reason the town existed in the first place. The very first building, the tavern, still stood and was still used, both as a tavern and the mayors office. Bardbeard’s captain, Omath, was talking to the mayor in the tavern at that moment.



Over on the far side of town, Oldbeard was toying with his repeating crossbow. He was sure he could get it to work, sure of it. He fiddled with his repeater, a mechanism of his own design, and checked it over to see if there were any problems. None. So why didn’t it work? The theory was sound, he knew that. If he could ju-
Twang!
The bolt embedded itself into the wall, shuddering. Oldbeards gaped and then looked around to see if anyone had noticed. No-one, phew. He moved to cover the bolt with his back, praying nobody would notice it.

In the main road, Bardbeard went up to his friend, Kilth, and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey, Kilth”
“Aye?” responded Kilth, distractedly
“This place is boring as fu-”
“What’s that?” pointed Kilth
“What?” replied Bardbeard, annoyed at being interrupted “A groundhog or something, there’s bloody thousands of them out here”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. What was it you were saying?” asked Kilth
“I said this place is as boring as f-”
Thwump
Kilth was thrown backwards off his feet, a crossbow bolt between his eyes. Bardbeards eyes widened in shock and he looked up at six goblins jumping out of the bushes, firing their crossbows.
“Attack!” screamed a human guard “WE’RE UNDER A-” A bolt tore out his throat.
Thwump, thwump, thwump
The bolts pincushioned the other guard, who hadn’t had time to move. Bloodbeard dashed up a side alley.



The other men on the main street weren’t so clever and attempted to either charge the goblins or meet up with the captain. The whole town was thrown into panic, as the peasants attempted to reach the safety of the houses, the captain ran outside with his men to see what was going on and the goblins formed two firing lines, decimating the forces in the main street, before retreating as fast as they had arrived.




“What the hell is happening?” roared the captain, running into the main road, followed by most of his men “I need a report!”
“Sir!” shouted Bardbeard, running up an saluting “six or so goblins attacked from the west, sir! Sir, The.... The bastards got Kilth, sir!”
“They got a lot more than just Kilth boy. Why did they stop?”
“I don’t know, sir, they just retreated!”
The captain looked around him and began to give orders to clean up the dead and post lookouts on the west side of the town. He was sorely shaken.

Oldbeard was looking into the distance. He could see something, but he wasn’t su-
Oh Armok he thought, making a sign of protection. He ran for the captain
“Attack! Attack!” he screamed, moving into the main street and raising his crossbow “Hostiles approaching from the east!”
The captain whipped around
“To me, men!” He roared “Defensive positions! Let’s show these bastards what we’re made of!”

The men took up defensive positions, a 2 man deep line, with men in the alleyways to thwart any attempts at flanking and archers behind. One man ran to protect the mayor, followed by the remaining human guards.
“There they are!” called a soldier, as the goblins rushed into the town, lead by a frothing goblin, in dark bloody armour.



“Fire!” ordered the captain, and the marksdwarves loosed there volley, Oldbeard cursing his bow as he did so.




Several goblins fell, but the rest smashed into the line and the dwarves found themselves fighting for there lives. The side guard moved to engage some goblins attempting to flank them.



Immediately, three goblins and two dwarves were killed, cut down by either side. The goblin in bloody armour had broken his opponents neck. He had no weapon. Realising the folly of the attack, he ordered a retreat, and ran for it, cursing the dwarves in goblin.



Around the corner came the goblins trying to take out the crossbowdwarves, unaware of the retreat. Oldbeard had already spun around and loosed his bolt, catching the goblin in the chest whilst the dwarf next to him shot the incoming goblin in the throat.



In the aftermath, all was silent. The captain looked around him and sighed.
“alright boys, we post a lookout on each corner of the town. The rest of you, pile up the dead goblins and humans in the centre. We’ll send our dwarves back on the next caravan. He turned and looked up the alleyway.
“You! Bardbeard? Did you hold this alleyway by yourself?”
“Yes sir!” responded Bardbead, adrenaline pumping furiously through his system
“Well done. Everyone, get to it”
Bardbeard went to work, piling the goblins in the centre of the town. Reaching down towards a corpse, he paused, and then cut off the goblins right thumb.
Souvenir…. he thought This post wasn’t so boring after all…
He smiled grimly and went about his duties.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Later on, in the tavern:

Oldbeard: Those goblins were ants compared to the goblins we had in my day they were. Back then goblins used to be these ten-foot-tall black skinned monsters with skin like steel and huge swords twice as tall as an elf and 3 times wider then a troll! Now, the dwarfs back in my day were much better then this lot *waves walking stick towards other soldiers* we used to have armour that could withstand  a mountain crashng on top of it and....er ....where was I ....something about mountains .....Aha! Now, as I was saying. The mountains we had were at least 12 times bigger and the creatures you found there were a lot more deadly and interesting, did I ever tell you people about the time I fought a chimera? Well, it all started back when I was a lad and...

This could go on a while.

[Jackrabbit]

Ah. Not just a name, I see.

Whatever, its cannon now

evil laugh

[Heron TSG]

epic story!