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Nothing.

At all.

Seriously.

[WorkerDrone]

Olon breathed into the (rare) glass window that his room sported. He had indeed taken into custody a lot of loot, most of which were jewels and a spot of gold here and there, in a nice pile of bags that the commander must have had his men loot on the side. He couldn't grab even a quarter of it, but it was enough to get fine booze (by human standards) nice rooms, and a new lute for a few songs. He was a bard after all, so he took it upon himself to start a tune or two every now and then, and its hard not to sing along to a jolly Dwarven tune.

So with so much gold, getting one of the best rooms in the establishment wasn't hard at all. Still it did almost nothing to better his temperment. He hadn't taken off most of his armour yet, and he still had both his axes settle in his belt. He was still contemplating busting down Kogan's door either now, ten minutes from now, or perhaps tomorrow, after breakfast.

Oh he would still bust down the door and beat the everloving sh-

Clank-crush-clash-CRASH!

WorkerDrone groaned as when he opened the door out of his room, a large pile of rocks and crates toppled ontop of him from above. He shoved everything off, looking around, cursing many a profanity.

"What the FU-"

A crate exploded open, propelling him back into his room.

...

All was quiet that night, as everyone settled into their beds, or perhaps partaking in one last round before heading upstairs, when-

"KOOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Inside the tavern. Olon is arguing with the bartender over the quality of the drink, currently he has grabbed the extremely large man by the nose ring, and is about to smash his face into the counter. Kogran is currently yelling at someone who he thinks to be his ancestor, but in fact was served a pint of a suspicious concoction that was a favorite of the bartender by complete accident. This potent drink was known to some as "Scrumble" and was known to others as "AHAHDHAHOOAHAHAH MY BRAIN!" He had moved on from yelling at the drunks, to having a fine debate about history with the wall. Limuel Thak was trying to tear apart his head, and was yelling at something he called Navi. Oldbeard couldn't care about what the rest were doing; as he was in the middle of a spectacularly long complaint about the booze.

"And tha's the er... what were it... oh right.... That thar is the thirty-twelf reason why this beer here is- You call this er' piss booze? TELL THAT TO THE BARSMASH -and that 's all there is ta' say about this acholohol! Say tha' reminds me o' a tale it do... it were twelve years, or wait... maybe it wa' fer when I wa' talkin' to- That's wat happened?! But you said the fortune was stolen by- -and his face were all over tha' wall! Tha's when I took me axe an- GET OUT OF MY HEAD GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT! -so I wer' forced to eat me own leg I were, but luckily I found another, and sewed it on all by meself I did!"

[Labs]

Drunken Oldbeard=Gold 

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

.... He wasn't drunk, just outraged at the quality of the alcohol.

[WorkerDrone]

Really, who COULD get drunk off of this pitiful human made booze?

Its...ITS UNDWARVEN!

Well, literally.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

That's why we have to pay for the bartenders new face, as well as the new bar counter. Thanks a lot, Olon.

[WorkerDrone]

Wasn't I the one who got us into this place in the first place?

Why are you louts complaining for? I'm the one spending the gold.

[Slartibartfast]

Because I'm an enormous twat, this is all I got.

No you're not.

Yes I am

No you're not.

[GruffyBears]

Hello, people of the internet. I have returned from my week in the west ofr Ireland, where they have just arrived in the neolithic era.

Needless to say; no interwebs could be found.

(Maybe an journal later.)

[CJ1145]

"Dammit Oldd, just get over there and talk to him!"

Why the hell should I? I doubt he remembers me, considering I knew him on the one adventure o' his that went right!

"That's what I mean! He remembers everything, and you'd know that if you'd just go over there and say hello!"

No, boy, and ye can't change me mind!

"Maybe I can do it manually!"

Kogan punched Oldd as hard as he could, shattering his hand against his plate armor. It felt as hard as a brick wall.

Oldd gave a hearty chuckle. Ye've gotten stronger, boy, but ye'r no Ironblood yet. Come back in another 10 years 'r so, when ye've gotten another level 'r two in wrestling.

Kogan contemplated trying with his head this time, but was interrupted by Olon baying for blood upstairs. Of course, this gave him an ear-splitting headache, as all Dwarven bards had the voice of an old woman's nails on a stone grinder. He sat back down at the bar and ordered "Another pint of Scrumble!"

The entire bar paused to stare in bewilderment. The bartender nervously took out the glass, but reminded Kogan "But, sir, you've already had a pint before! You're the drunkest creature for miles!"

"If I can still hear the bastard yelling," shouted Kogan. "then I ain't drunk enough!"

[Heron TSG]

As commander I must abstain from passing out, but getting drunk is a good idea. let's infiltrate their tavern and recruit sleeper agents all over town.

*facepalm* too much LCS.

[Jackrabbit]

Whooooooo likes... gunpowder?

[WorkerDrone]

Olon stormed down the stairs, grabbing the wall, swinging from a wooden beam, and letting go, jump tackling across the entire tavern floor, landing right on Kogan. A good old fashioned bar-room brawl ensues, dragging in pretty much EVERYONE.

[Jackrabbit]

Outside the tavern

Oldbeard walked out into the cool night air. Looking around, he spied a sign. Walking over, he read it. Ah, just what he was looking for. He headed off in the direction of the market, his metal cylinder under his arm.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Dear sweet gods! A short, bearded, somewhat senile ancient person with the secrets to a new kind of warfare? Oh dear.