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[assimilateur]

It's a strange mood, isn't it? Shouldn't they be supposed to produce wacky shit? Like beds out of gemstone, chains out of cat bone, or armor out of a brittle metal like pig iron.

If you have a problem with that, you could forbid all but the fanciest metals as soon as a smith gets a mood (which won't save you from the need of allowing metals you disagree with if the smith happens to like them).

[kilakan]

my worst ever was, a blowgun, which would be fine if it added it's value but, it was made of wood and decorated with pigtail cloth dyed red, it was circled with it making me think, what is this so when the dwarf bleeds all over his blowgun when he gets slaughtered by the enemy it won't stain the cloth???

Later on it gained a great reputation when my lone swordsman picked it up and whacked 57 goblins to death with it single handedly..  guess it wasn't too bad.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I got a Willow amulet as my first (non-furniture) artifact. It was somehow worth $39,600. I think he used GCS silk in it, but it's really a waste of GCS silk.

[personofshadow]

A turtle shell chain, decorated with turtle shell and encircled with bands of turtle shell and pheasant leather valued at 4,800

Really, who makes a chain out of turtle shell? And pheasant leather? I must have had better leather than that somewhere...

[Exiledhero99]

at least the chain can be used on the well im about to construct.

You've hit the nail on the head, also invalidating what you've said about it being one of the "worst artifacts ever". Granted, the crown is shitty, but the chain is top notch. The value might not be very high for an artifact, but it should be enough to make for a sublime well.

yes, but I can just see the story of it reaching the mountain-home: "aye, the most creative thing they've ever built there is a turtle shell chain!"

What pisses me off to no end is when weapon/armor smiths grabpig iron as the only metal. I mean come on, grab adamantine or even steel. If you are going to make it a non standard weapon material, at least make it something interesting, like gold or platinum, which would be epic.

once got a tin breastplate menacing with spikes of (much better metal that I can't remember the name of) all I could think was "come on, reverse the use of those metals!"

[Particleman]

I got stuff like an oak ring encircled with bands of oak inmy current fort. I also have an oaken blowgun. I gt a marginally useful obsidian door encrusted with obsidian. I'm in my sixth year with twelve artifacts, and so far the only usable ones are the door, a mechanism, a weapon rack, and a coffin. The others are stuff like a skirt, a turban, the aforementioned oak ring, an idol, etc.

[Nobbins]

Rotiklīlkar, a cedar barrel, menacing with spikes of Cedar. >_>

[xdarkcodex]

My mayor just maid a pine bed encrusted with emeralds and had menacing spikes of gold on it.Wouldn't be very comfortable...

[Valdier]

my engravers keep making masterpieces of dogs being killed my mountain goats.... I think i have too many dogs in my fortress.

[Krelos]

Plaitedrhyme - A turtle shell toy axe. On it is an image of thick crescents in turtle shell. On it is an image of Bomrek Mirrorsizzled surrounded by dwarfs in kimberlite. It relates to the ascension of Bomrek Mirrorsizzled to the leadership of The Town of Attack in 81.

This is actually not that bad despite its minimum value. Bomrek there, as a first act of kingship, declared war on the neighboring Ent nation. The first battle was between 600 dwarves and 200 Ents, all the ents died, though they managed to kill about 200 dwarfs too. King Bomrek was sadly among the fallen, no doubt leading the charge into the ranks of living tree monsters.
For the next 20 years the Dwarfs carried on his cause to cleanse the world of those foul abominations. Every battle was a complete rout, Dwarf losses shrinking each time, to where only 25% of the Ent kingdom is left.

[Cheddarius]

Make way, make way! The glory of GOLDENWEALTHS THE GODLY WARRIOR is nigh!


"This is a Diorite Scepter."

[Untouchable]

Make way, make way! The glory of GOLDENWEALTHS THE GODLY WARRIOR is nigh!


"This is a Diorite Scepter."

 

Was that all on it? If so, that is sad.

[Cheddarius]

There was some random nonsense about alligators and some dwarf I don't know. Also it's spiky and of the highest quality, but still. For something like Golden Wealth and Godly Warrior, I'd expect something decent at least.

[A Dwarven Smokeologist]

Just...weak.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[darthbob88]

Clenchedhonor, a turtle shell toy hammer. Decorated with spikes of turtle shell. Worth 2400 dwarf bucks. At least I got a legendary bone carver out of it. Other than that, everything has been fairly admirable; decorated barrel, copper spear, perfect grossular, grossular idol, all fairly valuable.