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[elizar]

Possession. Can't even use it for a trap since I'm playing vanilla and dorfs don't make darts.

[JmzLost]

Just had a woodcrafter make an oaken earring.  With Topaz.  And Star freaking Rubies.  99,600 dorfbucks, for a wooden earring.

JMZ

[Lagren]

A metalsmith of mine just got a mood. I was going "AWESOME! I can get something worth a ton to placate my nobles with!"

He made a grate, "Umozduthnur", "Rampageguards." Awesome name, but not quite an awesome artifact.

"This is a copper grate. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of copper."

I find it hilarious that even though he couldn't be bothered with anything else, he still put spikes on the thing.

[kotekzot]

A metalsmith of mine just got a mood. I was going "AWESOME! I can get something worth a ton to placate my nobles with!"

He made a grate, "Umozduthnur", "Rampageguards." Awesome name, but not quite an awesome artifact.

"This is a copper grate. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of copper."

I find it hilarious that even though he couldn't be bothered with anything else, he still put spikes on the thing.

you can't have highest quality craftsdwarfship without spikes.

[Leafsnail]

A metalsmith of mine just got a mood. I was going "AWESOME! I can get something worth a ton to placate my nobles with!"

He made a grate, "Umozduthnur", "Rampageguards." Awesome name, but not quite an awesome artifact.

"This is a copper grate. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of copper."

I find it hilarious that even though he couldn't be bothered with anything else, he still put spikes on the thing.

you can't have highest quality craftsdwarfship without spikes.

Nor can you have hilarious loincloths.

[Nyxalinth]

Heh, nice.  I have an image of a dwarf with a half-pound stone in a pierced ear.

But that would be so dwarfly...

[InsanityPrelude]

My first ever fell mood netted me... a completely undecorated dwarf bone floodgate. 

[Jack_Bread]

My fortress has been producing crap artifacts.
I've got "Lancedswords" a pig tail right glove that is decorated with pig tail and encircled with bands of pig tail.
"The Organization of Sanctuary" a rhyolite crown. It has clounds on it in rhyolite.
"The Harmonious Culmination of Throwing" a melanite coffin with fire snakes on it in melanite.
And the most recent one, "The Murky Lashes" which is a native copper grate that's encrusted with native copper.

All of them were made with just one material. The most expensive one is 36,000 db on the coffin with the glove at 7600 db.

[Viroath]

I once got a wooden cup.  Atleast it menaced with spikes of wood and had bands of wood.

I purposefully hauled it into my trade depot (Dumped, actually) for the sheer purpose of annoying elves (Atleast in my head)

"Aye, you know how we can get only three mugs from a tree?  Well, yer tree hugging pansies, Urist here just made a single mug out of three trees!  How do you feel about that?!"

[Echo7]

I got a lame loincloth, too:

Spoiler: Lathonkobem Edėm Solam: Mythtrouble the Key of Nations; a lynx leather loincloth (click to show/hide)

Weight: 19, Basic Value: 7200

This is a lynx leather loincloth.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is encircled with bands of Ramie.  This object menaces with spikes of lynx leather.

I wish I could make my Dungeonmaster wear this (and nothing else).

[Supercharazad]

I was getting really excited when I had a dwarf claim a metal forge, and gather adamantine, three different kinds of gems, and bone and shell...had my fingers crossed for an awesome weapon to kill demons with.  Instead, I got this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, that's not one, not two, but three images of itself on there.  It's not like I don't have other artifacts, although this is far and away my most valuable one.  At least I got a legendary blacksmith out of it.

The only redeeming quality seems to be that's it's worth 758400 dwarf bucks...can I still stick it in a noble's room for furniture?

KG...

Let me guess, the dwarf was a ranger, hunter or a trapper?
this is why people like training useless dwarves so as you get weapons or armour instead of rings and traps

[assimilateur]

Let me guess, the dwarf was a ranger, hunter or a trapper?

I'm pretty sure those professions don't get moods per se, i.e. a ranger would work at a craftsdwarf's workshop when taken by a strange mood.

[bmaczero]

Idokrimad, "Pointedtactic", a rainbow trout bone buckler.

I was think, "Sweet, artifact buckler FTW!"  Then I noticed:
"On the item is an image of a human and an alligator in rainbow trout bone.  The alligator is striking down the human."  There are alligators on my map.


Among my other silly artifact names:
Kasithnikot Umaminodeshon, "Prowleractions of the Untamed Gate-Good"
 



I have gotten some good ones, though.  Among them: an aluminum sarcophagus that by itself made my baroness' tomb a "Royal Mausoleum".

[Loyal]

I got a rope reed thong, that had hanging rings of picture jaspers and menaced with spikes of wood opals. I'll give you a second to let the mental image sink in. You may include a female craftsdwarf holding it up in delicate triumph if you wish.

......

You're welcome.

[madjoe5]

I got an artifact raw adamantine mechanism encrusted with gems and some metal.

It was worth 1,000,000+ dworf bucks.

Im afraid to use it because it might disappear or whatever and I would lose all of that value.