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Author Topic: Lame artifacts!  (Read 56859 times)

cog disso

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #345 on: September 07, 2010, 04:37:11 pm »

Last night a clothier fell into a mood and produced a Giant Spider Silk Loincloth.

Dwarves don't wear loincloths.

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Urist McShrodinger likes unobservable properties for their haunting implications.

Arekis

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #346 on: September 07, 2010, 05:12:23 pm »

I just got a bone buckler worth only 1680.  It doesn't even have spikes!  Or any decoration.  The dwarf used up steel, a log, stone blocks, and bloodstone, none of which show up in the description.  Hopefully it will protect better than a regular bone buckler...

Decorations on bone artifacts are bugged in .12

I was trying to figure out how a bone table that used an adamantine wafer among other gems and things could be worth a mere 1200 bucks...  Also it was a possession.  At least I can stick the table somewhere.
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csebal

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #347 on: September 10, 2010, 04:22:01 pm »

I would like to apply:
Mebidash Enalodad - a warthog bone ring.
This is a warthog bone ring. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.
<period>
Worth 1200 dB.
The thing here is the component list that went into making this pathetic piece of self reflection (the dwarf in question was a totally skill-less peon doing hauling duty since he arrived).
2 rough sapphires
2 cut sapphires
a single bar of gold
some bones
some leather
some wood.

The very least you would expect are some menacing sapphire spikes, but no. I'm mostly wondering where all those sapphires went. Maybe i should have the sheriff sweep the quarters of Urist McStealingBastard. I'm just glad i didnt delegate my star sapphires to be used :) Figured i would rather have those one something useful, some furniture or weapon, not on some useless trade commodity i cant even trade because of its artifact status :)

By the way, since this came out of a fey mood, Urist McUseless is now a legendary bone carver. Not that i dont have 3 of those already. I think i will have them commit a ritual suicide using something made out of bone. Make them a set of bone armor, draft them into the militia and lock them into a room running the enhanced version of the militia excercise program 2010. This version uses masterwork steel spears instead of cheap wooden training ones.

Why? Because using bones for anything is not dwarvy in my opinion. It be either metal or stone. Exception being wooden training spears for .. well.. training :) and beds, since you cant make those out of anything else.. no idea why tho. If my dwarves are fine sleeping on the floor, and on wooden beds, then i do not see how well made rock beds would cause a problem. Or metal beds for that matter.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2010, 04:28:22 pm by csebal »
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Pukako

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #348 on: September 12, 2010, 04:39:31 am »

Legendary jeweller gets possessed (great - no extra legendary skills, I thought), occupies his own jewellers (so the possession didn't matter so much), and proceeds to grab one gem.  Yay.

Turns out a red beryl window (of course, menacing with spikes of red beryl), which I will actually find useful, and it's worth D$84k, which is about 20 times the worth of the last 5 artifacts combined.

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Eugenitor

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #349 on: September 12, 2010, 04:42:52 am »

Just in case it hasn't already been said, csebal, the "worthless bone artifacts" thing is a bug.
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Golcondio

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #350 on: September 12, 2010, 06:27:22 am »

Legendary jeweller gets possessed (great - no extra legendary skills, I thought), occupies his own jewellers (so the possession didn't matter so much), and proceeds to grab one gem.  Yay.

Turns out a red beryl window (of course, menacing with spikes of red beryl), which I will actually find useful, and it's worth D$84k, which is about 20 times the worth of the last 5 artifacts combined.

Hey, that is NOT lame! Anything that can actually be used by a dorf or built in a room is not lame at all, since it gives happiness...
A chert mug, that IS lame.
An adamantine scepter that menaces with spikes of dragon bone, that is SUPER lame.
A clear glass barrel is borderline (you can store stuff in it but cannot decide where to place it)
A donkey bone bucket is cool. Especially if you use it in a well with platinum blocks and an artifact green glass chain.
Beds, windows, floodgates, grates, chests, cabinets and the like are cool AND useful
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moleeth

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #351 on: September 12, 2010, 01:27:42 pm »

Had my first artifact today!, Dwarven child that was 8 years old went in to a fey mood and took over the Craftsdwarves workshop and makes!!




.......a dog bone bin.. :-\
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ThrowerOfStones

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #352 on: September 12, 2010, 01:30:41 pm »

Had my first artifact today!, Dwarven child that was 8 years old went in to a fey mood and took over the Craftsdwarves workshop and makes!!




.......a dog bone bin.. :-\

Although I've always found bins disappointing, I have to say I love the dwarven child who grabs dog bone and makes a bin out of it.
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Golcondio

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #353 on: September 12, 2010, 01:53:51 pm »

Had my first artifact today!, Dwarven child that was 8 years old went in to a fey mood and took over the Craftsdwarves workshop and makes!!




.......a dog bone bin.. :-\

Although I've always found bins disappointing, I have to say I love the dwarven child who grabs dog his pet's bones and makes a bin out of it. He uses it to keep his toys in.
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Samrobot

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #354 on: September 13, 2010, 04:17:07 pm »

The worst artifacts are ones of stupid creatures i had a artifact a couple forts which was a statue of donkeys made out of coal menacing with spikes of coal and about 3 engravings of donkeys in coal.
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vadia

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #355 on: September 15, 2010, 09:14:59 pm »

So far my luck with artifacts (and I do mean luck) has been mostly average -- though I am fond of how lame my chalk quern with chalk bands (I think in a fortress I decided to go with low flux content) was somewhat annoying.  After all,
1) I just halved the quality of the room as a whole and
2) I wasn't into milling in that fortress.
So, I guess I could give it to some low down noble. . . and put his bed-dining-meeting room with it. . .
But other than that it wasn't very usefull.
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krenshala

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #356 on: September 15, 2010, 10:30:01 pm »

Had my first artifact today!, Dwarven child that was 8 years old went in to a fey mood and took over the Craftsdwarves workshop and makes!!
.......a dog bone bin.. :-\
Wait ... wait ... it is a dog-bone bin (to store doggie treats)?  :P
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

krenshala

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #357 on: September 15, 2010, 10:48:00 pm »

I got a 2400* Large toy boat (inlaid with larch) ... at least I got a legendary craftsdwarf out of it ...
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

glopso

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Re: In the running for lamest artifact
« Reply #358 on: September 15, 2010, 11:59:00 pm »

Haha, yeah - guess where the bed went? :D

Hi magma kid
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Dok Enkephalin

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #359 on: September 16, 2010, 07:36:25 am »

My boyer gathered all her components in silence and produced: an alder bow. Why is she making elf weapons? I thought I'd gift it to the elvish trader, but when the kobolds stole it, I just couldn't care.
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