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[Spectre]

After what i read here, mine is probably pretty awsome in comparison, but it was a posession (so no skills) and it used all of my fire imp bones, i was saving for something fancy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Fullmoon]

Well, me had once steel chain with bands of redroot dyed cloth and GCS silk and spikes of leather. Small bearded pervert.

Actually cheap wooden rings are not that bad - they doesn't consume valuable resource. Got once bauxite cabinet with spikes and rings of bauxite when actively building magma channels routing system on a map without any bauxite.

But really most useless (not cheap) was crystal rock puzzlebox about 340000$, spent on this little shiny trinket 3 bars of aluminum, one of platinum, one of gold and a black diamond.

[Akura]

On the other side of the spectrum, I once got an EMERALD TABLE.

That's right, a table made from solid emerald. Makes me feel like I'm in the Wizard of Oz.

Err... in the original book only the outside walls of the the city were emerald. Scratch that, they were only green. Could have been cheap green glass*. Oz tricked visitors(and inhabitants alike) into thinking the city was made of emerald by making everyone wear green glasses. Cheap bastard.

*The land of Oz wasn't a sandless map, it was surrounded by desert, so they could have built a city from green glass blocks.
<suddenly has a map idea>

I think I beat you on creepiest artifact ever.

The name makes it. Maybe the designer was thinking about what happened if he showed it to his wife.

All you need to do is chain a few elves and goblin lashers nearby. And make it your dwarven "justice" center.

[Trigonous]

I once had a fort with three artifact wooden floodgates.  They weren't even worth enough dwarfbucks to place in a noble's room.

[praguepride]

I got a pig tail shirt, decorated with Pig tail. I'll look it up to see how much it was worth... laaame!

But what else are you going to do when your clothier goes moody?

[Fullmoon]

I think I beat you on creepiest artifact ever.

The name makes it. Maybe the designer was thinking about what happened if he showed it to his wife.

All you need to do is chain a few elves and goblin lashers nearby. And make it your dwarven "justice" center.
[/quote]

Or assign it to your Dungeon Master.

[BigD145]

Lame but awesome in its description of elves.



Worth 6,000 dwarf bucks and is from Dwarfier mod.

The only other artifact in this early fort is "Vanishedvisions the Evisceration of Flickers." It's a totally awesome name for a tulipwood bed that menaces with spikes of tulipwood. Ooooooh. Scary bed.

[Hitti-Litti]

My first artifact ever in DF(didn't have the materials the dwarf needed in previous moods -> death chamber) was a turtle shell amulet, decorated with bands of shells. It also had an engraving: a dwarf in a, surprise, shell!

[Rolan7]

My first artifact ever in DF(didn't have the materials the dwarf needed in previous moods -> death chamber) was a turtle shell amulet, decorated with bands of shells. It also had an engraving: a dwarf in a, surprise, shell!

Someone should write a fiction "Dwarf in the Shell" about turtles in the water-based dwarven computer.

[smjjames]

My first artifact ever in DF(didn't have the materials the dwarf needed in previous moods -> death chamber) was a turtle shell amulet, decorated with bands of shells. It also had an engraving: a dwarf in a, surprise, shell!

I've never heard of that engraving, unless you meant that it was an angraving using shell.

Anyways, I just had a lame-ish artifact. I got a green glass trumpet after a nice string of useful artifacts. I've still got alot of glassmakers available for potential moods, so its not a real loss.

[Kanil]

Tosedbardum "Stopfights" a Willow chair

This is a Willow chair. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. On the item is an image of Stopfights the Willow chair in Willow.


Useful, yes, but still lame.

You put it in your dining room. The happy thoughts from admiring it will prevent any fights from breaking out.

Remarkably fitting name.

[Trigonous]

Okay, now I have an artifact floodgate that "menaces with spikes of pig tail".

How do you make a pigtail spike?

[ungulateman]

The same way you make rings out of leather, or bands out of bone.

MAGIC! SCIENCE!

[Rolan7]

Okay, now I have an artifact floodgate that "menaces with spikes of pig tail".

How do you make a pigtail spike?

You soak it in cat tallow.  Doubles as an emergency food source!

[Ronniesoak]

Just got my first artifact, from my first fortress to make it that far. A door, of towercap, decorated with towercap. Total value: 3600.

At least I got a legendary carpenter out of it.