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Author Topic: Lame artifacts!  (Read 56875 times)

Magil

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #210 on: February 19, 2010, 12:14:54 am »

The first artifact in my current long-running super fortress was a rope reed cap.

The only good thing about it was its name: "The Amusing Future." Which was appropriate, because that fortress did have a rather amusing future.
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Quote from: Mystic Mongol
Turns out most of the nobles had the same room. Moreover, this same room was apparently bedroom, office, and dining room. I don't know what they thought was in this room... I do know the doors were all locked, so none of them could get IN.

Also, apparently there was a fire inside, and had been for months. I feel I should investigate this at some point.

Duuvian

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #211 on: February 20, 2010, 12:33:15 am »

I always put this artifact in lame/awesome artifact threads for the name. Yes, I did the forbid trick.

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FINISHED original composition:
https://app.box.com/s/jq526ppvri67astrc23bwvgrkxaicedj

Sort of finished and awaiting remix due to loss of most recent song file before addition of drums:
https://www.box.com/s/s3oba05kh8mfi3sorjm0 <-zguit

Jacob/Lee

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #212 on: February 20, 2010, 12:45:45 am »

My worst was an alunite floodgate.

It was worth about 10k though.

caknuck

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #213 on: February 22, 2010, 11:58:29 am »

I have had the worst run of luck with artifacts in my new fort. Four straight artifacts valued under 10K db...

1) A palm statue, decorated only with palm.
2) A bauxite door, decorated only with bauxite.
3) A basalt bed, decorated only with basalt
4) A palm bracelet, decorated with cloth, leather and trifle pewter.

That last one topped out at 9600 db, none of the others cracked 3500 db.
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Quote from: Primary
*Kneels before Urist Dickpuncher*

Sutremaine

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #214 on: February 23, 2010, 07:57:53 pm »

Anything in four figures is pretty good for furniture. A normally-made statue of 3500db would require a high-level worker and gold or better, so put that furniture to use!

The only thing I'd consider completely useless is a craft from a possession or a wooden craft from any mood, although in the last case you do at least get a statted dwarf.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

caknuck

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #215 on: February 23, 2010, 10:50:45 pm »

Anything in four figures is pretty good for furniture. A normally-made statue of 3500db would require a high-level worker and gold or better, so put that furniture to use!

The only thing I'd consider completely useless is a craft from a possession or a wooden craft from any mood, although in the last case you do at least get a statted dwarf.

The statue is the centerpiece of my dining room. My baron should be arriving soon, so he'll get the bed and door.

The bed was made by my already-legendary miner. Why couldn't it have been by the immigrant fish dissector who was my miner's apprentice at the time? (As opposed to the other immigrant fish dissector, who is strictly a hauler/smelter at this stage.) When the mood struck, I temporarily forgot that mining was a moodable skill. That miner is one of my original seven, and his back up trades are weaponsmithing and armorsmithing. Then he bypassed my magma forges (the construction of which claimed my other legendary miner in the form of globs of molten fun dripping in from the ceiling when we breached the magma pipe, but that's a story for the facepalm thread) and headed upstairs to the mason's workshop. Damn.
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Quote from: Primary
*Kneels before Urist Dickpuncher*

MacaqueAttack

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #216 on: February 23, 2010, 11:25:41 pm »

I think I beat you on creepiest artifact ever.


The name makes it. Maybe the designer was thinking about what happened if he showed it to his wife.
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Particleman

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #217 on: February 24, 2010, 05:27:17 am »

I've gotten stuff like a pine barrel, decorated with bands of pine. A pine amulet, a horse bone crown, an alunite scepter... And these are all from one fort. The only GOOD artifact in that fort, out of the twelve I have, is a pig iron mace.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2010, 10:38:02 am by Particleman »
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purplearcanist

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #218 on: February 24, 2010, 09:11:44 am »

1. A kaolinate scepter with a lame image (two tunics in onyx).  Worth about 7200.
2. I also have two wooden bracelets.  At least the descriptions are somewhat interesting.
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athousandbees

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #219 on: February 24, 2010, 11:43:36 pm »



Kinky...   ;)

But really, what makes it is the name. Coincidental brain, indeed.
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Zore

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #220 on: February 25, 2010, 02:49:05 am »

A Dolomite earring encircled with rings of dolomite. Named "Snarlingcradled the weak Glosses". Only artifact in my current fort which is going on year ten with almost two hundred dwarves...
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Rolan7

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #221 on: February 25, 2010, 04:57:40 am »

A Dolomite earring encircled with rings of dolomite. Named "Snarlingcradled the weak Glosses". Only artifact in my current fort which is going on year ten with almost two hundred dwarves...

Ah, an above ground fortress right?  Digging out tiles raises the artifact limit, I don't think you can get even one strange mood if you don't strike the earth at all.
Although 200 dwarves is an awful lot for above-ground.  Mostly above ground?
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Zore

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #222 on: February 25, 2010, 05:36:20 am »

Hit an aquifier in the second Z-level and decided to do something different for a change. Was in a heavily forested region so I've been using a ton of wood for everything.
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BodyGripper

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #223 on: February 26, 2010, 05:45:28 pm »

"Ponderbleached the Fetid Lung"
This is a Rope reed coat.  All Craftsdwarf is of the highest quality.  It is encrusted with Emerald and Granite, decorated with Highwood and goblin bone and encircled with bands of Rope reed, Emerald, and Granite.  It is made from Rope reed cloth.

Pretty lame, but worth 109600, so I can't complain.
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"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... It's okay to sell quivers..."
I just ripped open a lions throat by biting it. Who's the lion now, bitch!

Archmage Ansrit

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Re: Lame artifacts!
« Reply #224 on: February 26, 2010, 10:52:52 pm »

Ozonathel! Alias... DepressedRings...

This is a Chalk earring. All Craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with Chalk. On the item is an image of dwarves in chalk. The dwarves are laboring. The artwork relates to the foundation of Angelfall the Ageless Cross Blood-Age of Aces by the Deified Labor in the early spring of 201.
Of the item is the image of two coffins in chalk.

Value: 9600.

I guess this is what I get for chosing a freaking mountain made of the stuff, I keep dumping the stones to make room and I still have over a hundred of them to build with.

At least I also struck Bauxite, in my first fortress I want some magma experimentsproject.

I also have a Bituminous Coal Armorstand (GroupSparkle, 4800) and a Larch Scepter (Sidelions the Meditation of Cherishing, 9600).
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"The concept that a video game can be played in a manner that doesn't entail wasting time amuses me." -Squidhead, GameFAQs forums
Because dwarves are goddamned crazy.
So, basically, it is just a matter of luck whether you live or suffer horrible death... sounds like dwarf fortress.
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