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[yggiz]

I think the lamest ones are the three wafers adamantine and a black diamond that become a floodgate. The sheer disappointment of not a weapon is enough for me. What a waste of resources. MAKE A WEAPON DAMMIT!!!

[G-Flex]

If you expect a metalsmith or metalcrafter to have a weaponsmith's mood, you're doing it wrong.

[cbfog]

One of my dwarves just ran off and grabbed some platinum and gems and made.... a blowgun! Yaaaay!

[Leafsnail]

My first ever was a maple cup.  Yay!

Follow up:

"This is a Jet sceptre.  All craftsdwarfship of the highest quality.  It is encrusted with Jet and encircled with bands of Jet.  This object menaces with spikes of *gasp* Jet"

[Albedo]

... a blowgun! Yaaaay!

Ouch.  A weapon. Joy.

[cbfog]

... a blowgun! Yaaaay!

Ouch.  A weapon. Joy.

I was under the impression these were about as useful as a toy boat... Am I wrong?

[Albedo]

There is some dark humour in both of the posts you quoted.

Yes, it is completely and utterly useless to dwarfs - but it's also a weapon, which is (usually) greatly desired in artifacts.  It's that ironic touch that twists the knife that extra turn.

That may not be the lamest, but it might be the most painful.

[Rolan7]

I love threads like this...

onulelik Stelidthestkig, Mirrorsingle the Washed Conflagaration, a Rhyolite puzzlebox.
This is a Rhyolite puzzlebox.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of Rhyolite.  2400 monies.

Cool... a game in which you must dump water on magma before it reaches a fleeing dwarf!  What a clever contraption.  All we need now is a live-action roleplay of it... and I think the game designer just volunteered!

At least it wasn't another hauler asking for shells, but at least they're entertainment for my dwarfcutter, I mean woodcutter.

[ElTacoLad]

My first artifact. A Hatchcover.

[Tiler]

I don't want to read any more whining about hatchcovers, statues, doors, beds, or anything at all that can be contstructed. Those are great artifacts, because instead of wasting a huge amount of space and time carving out a massive room and engraving it, you can just plonk one of them down in it and turn a broom closet into an opulent throne room.

I hate moody craftsdwarves.

[Albedo]

Zactly!

You fools, you fools, artifact furniture isn't lame, it's a gift!  Doesn't matter a whit if the room doesn't need a hatchcover or a lever - it's got one now!

(Besides, if you don't have a few rooms that use hatches, you need to start thinking in 3 dimensions more.)

[cbfog]

In a shocking twist, my dwarves have been creating non-useless artifacts. The last three in a row were a platinum bed, a turtle shell bed, and a gabbro bed. I think my dwarves saw the first guy lounging in his decadent turtle bed and now everyone wants one.

There was also an artifact copper battle axe in there for good measure. Go figure.

[Akkristor]

Three artifacts so far in a three-year old fortress.

Basalt Earring -- Onul Am  "The Mirrors of Yawning"  -2400

Turtle Shell Mask -- Iltang Thusest  "The Forks of Fury"  - 7200

Obsidian Idol -- Ruthosh Borlon  "The Distance of Severity" - 43,200

[Nerserus]

Adamantine socks = Expert foot protection. That isn't lame at all if you get a pair, and matching clothes.

WOOHOO, ARTIFACT...Ashen cup, decorated with yellow diamonds lapis, and jasper...Methinks certain dwarf go magma swim?

[Porpoisepower]

Seriously! Why does the Game make you make items that are only useful in pairs, singularly?  I'm not complaining about resource use or anything like that, but If I want armor 30 dwarves I have to construct 30 helms, 30 "Armor"s 30 pants 30 leggings, 30 boots, but I have to make 60 gauntlets/boots/Greaves. 

It would just make more sense if things are constructed in pairs.  The individual items don't need to be kept in pairs, but construction really ought to be.

There are far too many dwarves walking arround with an artifact boot on one foot and poor quality 3/4 rotten kitten leather boot on the other.